A Sinner's Confession

Today I am reminded that sin is sin, and that I too am a great sinner. There is nothing I can do on my own to cleanse myself and become acceptable to be in the presence of the Most High. I cannot boast for the only reason I am a child of God is because He chose me. Otherwise, I would not have it in me to seek Him. My nature is to seek darkness, physical pleasure, comfort and the things of this world. If left to my own devices I would always gravitate toward the mud. Filth would be my comfort. The divine spark…the divine essence in me…were it not ignited by He who endowed it to me, would be covered in pestilence. And the worst part is that I would not even realize that I am not cleaned. I would not have enough consciousness to see I am rolling around in waste. I would not see that I am grotesque.

This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners"--and I am the worst of them. 1 Timothy 1: 15

It is all because of His decision to wake me up that I am aware. It is all because He chose to reveal Himself to me that I am out of the pit. It is because He came down from Heaven to become flesh, implant Himself among the filth to reach out to me that I am free!

…For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.… Romans 5: 7-9

That’s the good news! It is nothing we do…we cannot save ourselves. No matter how much the enemy deceives us into believing that we are good. No matter how much lies have been manipulated and turned into accepted realities. No matter how much the Devil has made us believe sin is no more. Truth is Truth, and it is because God is Love that He sent Jesus to save us. Which means that we do need a Savior…which means we do need to be saved from something…and that something is the Holy Wrath of the Most High.

There’s no way around it. He is a Holy God. He is also a Merciful God. But His Mercy doesn’t make Him less Holy. His Mercy doesn’t diminish His Wrath. His Mercy brings Hope to those He chooses. His Mercy led Him to design the plan of salvation. His Mercy moved Him to become the Emanuel, God with us in the person of Jesus Christ so those who believe in Him would be spared. But His Mercy doesn’t deny that He is still the Great Judge. That is why we need an advocate to plead our case. That is why, thanks to His Great Mercy, He, Himself, has given us the greatest defense attorney in the Heavenly Realms.

It’s not what we do or do not do. It is what He does. Sin is still sin. The enemy is enjoying his hour. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6: 12 … But in the time of God, the war is already won.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3: 16

This is my confession…as a sinner redeemed by Grace, I believe the Bible is the Word of God. I believe God is unchanging. Sin is sin. Truth is Truth. Love is God. Among the sinners I am chief and that’s why I need a Savior.

No One Is Righteous

What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin. 10 As it is written:

“There is no one righteous, not even one;

there is no one who understands;

there is no one who seeks God.

All have turned away,

they have together become worthless;

there is no one who does good,

not even one.”

“Their throats are open graves;

their tongues practice deceit.”

“The poison of vipers is on their lips.”

“Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”

“Their feet are swift to shed blood;

ruin and misery mark their ways,

and the way of peace they do not know.”

“There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. 20 Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin. Romans 3: 9-23

Do You Know the Word Faith?

“Hold my hand and Trust. So long as you are conscious of My Presence with you, all is well.”

As I woke up anxious and nervous about my doctor’s appointment a couple of days ago, this was the message that Sarah Young’s devotional, Jesus Calling had for me…or should I say, the message that Jesus had for me. These words stayed with me at work and during the seemingly endless waiting period at the doctor’s office. I think I sat in that uncomfortable chair alone in that plain and sterile office for at least 40 minutes before the doctor came in to talk to me. The longest 40 minutes of my life! But as I kept repeating the words from the devotional, and some Scripture in my head, claiming His promises and His victory in my mind, I also thought the time spent at that not-so-welcoming room would be well worth it if I were to receive good news. And good news I received.

Praise the Lord Almighty I did get great news that all is, indeed, well. And not only did the doctor gave me good news, but she even spoke to me about how I must leave it all in God’s hands. She asked me if I was religious and I said yes, then she asked me: “do you know the word faith?” My eyes began to tear up…I said a quiet yes…then she said, “well, leave it all to Him.”

There wasn’t much I could say after that. I swallowed hard and just nodded.

She talked to me about faith and about letting go. “You are just like me,” she mentioned. Then she shared how she is a worrier too. She told me to keep busy and to be happy, to pray and to remember how stress lowers the immune system. “People who are happy do better after surgery and recover faster.” She spent a significant amount of time with me and my nerves really, truly, finally began to calm down.

Suddenly that, not-so-attractive office had become a place of peace. I walked out of there with a renewed smile. The Lord had showed me how everything is, indeed, possible with Him. He showed me how He can use anyone…even a doctor (can you tell I’m not very fond of doctors?) to carry out His will and fulfill His plan…and to reach my heart. I glanced back at the now empty room where I had sat, being consumed by anxiety, thinking the time spent sitting there had been all worth it after all.

I am tired of worrying…I am tired of being afraid. It’s time to dig deep and truly know the meaning of faith. It’s time I hold on tightly to His hand and just trust in His grace, which IS sufficient. His presence is all I truly, really, absolutely need…all other things are just the trim.

Praise be to God for He is Faithful even when we are not.

Faith of Our Friends

At Sunday school this past weekend we read Luke 20: 17-26, the Miracle of Jesus forgiving and healing the paralyzed man that had been brought to Him by his friends who carried him on his mat. I love that story. It makes me think of how the incident might have developed. I imagine the friends (I always think of them as four, each holding one corner of the mat…but who knows how many there were? It just says “some men”) going to their paralyzed friend saying: “well, today is the day. We are taking you to Jesus, so hang on!” And I imagine the paralyzed man looking at them with a puzzled expression, wondering, “what the heck?”

We don’t really know if this guy even wanted to go. Although he might have heard the common rumor around town, we don’t know for sure if he really knew about the healing power of Jesus. Scripture gives us no evidence of this man’s faith at the moment he got picked up by the guys who carried him to the Christ. The one thing we know is that there is no way he could have made it there if it hadn’t been in the arms of his friends. In fact, we know more about the faith of the friends than of his own. We know these friends had enough faith to stop whatever they might have been doing in their daily lives, to go get their buddy, carry him in the heat of the dessert, not be discouraged by the wall of people that kept them from being able to enter the house, climb to the roof, commit a touch of vandalism to finally be able to lower him to Jesus’ feet.

The whole thing was so impressive that we read how, when Jesus saw the faith of the friends, He forgave the sins of the paralyzed man and later healed him. WOW! Little did these guys know their actions would prove so transcendental that Jesus would use the whole event to teach a lesson to the Pharisees that lasts all the way to today! They probably didn’t even think it was a big deal. They heard about Jesus’ miracles, thought of their friend, went and grabbed him and presented him to the Healer. Simple! No super heroes here, no special people, nobody important/rich/special…just friends…

Friends carrying each other…friends bringing friends to Christ.

To think that our faith may contribute to help our friends come closer to Jesus...what a powerful thought...

I pray I can be that friend. I pray I can be the one lifting a corner of my fallen friend’s mat when he/she is in need to be carried. I pray I can be there to do what they simply cannot do in their time of struggle. I pray I can be willing to help carry their burdens when their strength fails and they cannot take another step. For I have been carried countless times, I pray when time comes for me to be NOT on the mat, that I am up to the task…I pray I don’t even waste time thinking about it, and just bend my knees to pick up my friend and lift her/him up to the fountain of all forgiveness, mercy, love, power and healing so they may thirst no more.

I praise the Good Lord for giving me faithful friends that have tirelessly lifted my heavy burdens up to the Christ when I was on the floor, paralyzed and helpless. I pray I can do as well, when it comes to be my turn.

Linking with:  Wholeheartedhome.com and www.rosilindjukic.com

You Always Answer Me When I Call

The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. Psalm 18: 4 But I I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, And I am saved from my enemies. 

Psalm 18: 3

Our soul has escaped as a bird out of the snare of the trapper; The snare is broken and we have escaped. 

Psalm 124: 7

There is a lot to be said about the misuse of today’s cyber-world; however, to me, the ability to keep in touch with my sisters in Christ, near and far, is one of the greatest blessings this era of instant communication has provided. Although I’m not going to write a dissertation on this topic here today…I’d like to say that social media and the Internet as a whole are all about how you use them. If we go about them guided by the Light of the Holy Spirit, we can certainly use them as tools to help us in our quest to surrounding ourselves with all things good. If we don’t pray for discernment when we use this tool, it can lead us into destruction and evil.

With that said, I’d like to tell you how today the Internet and its social media minions were agents of good in my life. I woke up this morning feeling the enemy entangling me. I felt his claws grabbed me from my place upon the Rock, to then dump me into his prison of doubt, fear and anxiety. On my knees I begged the Almighty to give me His presence, and He sent me His Word through His messengers…through those whom He has placed around me…by means of the Internet.

The minute I prayed for God’s presence to be with me and for Him to send me His angels, He led me to His Word. It wasn’t a straight road, though. I came downstairs and I went to Facebook first. I know…but God knew too, so... what message did I see pop in the newsfeed? 

  

“Pray More. Worry Less.” 

Yeah…right on my face.

I kept scrolling down and after some great pictures of my Facebook friends showcasing their Father’s Day tributes and vacation journals, here’s what I saw:

“All Worry Ends when Faith in God Begins.”

Then, I saw a beautiful paraphrasing of Psalm 46: 10 (probably my #1 all-time-favorite verse in all Scripture) “Let go of your concerns! Then you will know that I Am God. I rule the nations. I rule the Earth.”

I scrolled some more and there it was: “Let all that I am praise the Lord. May I never forget the good things He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.” Psalm 103: 2-3 NLT
Finally, I saw this: “Dear God, in your strong hands I place my life today. Choosing to depend on You to Light and Guide the way.”

Of course I shared all these in my wall, but most of all, I let the healing power of the Holy Spirit, God’s presence in me, minister to me with these words I’d just read. Then, I sent out messages to some of my prayer warriors, for I know I am not strong enough to pull myself out of the pit of fear. He has to do it Himself; and one other thing I know is that often times He uses His beloved to help one another. 

In an instant, my phone became a direct line to the Word…a direct line to God. He was speaking to me directly.  My friends were the fingers of God, typing Scripture and prayers the Holy Spirit had placed in their hearts to speak to me at the precise moment that I needed them.

I began to feel the weight of worry lift and I started to breathe again.

I’ve prayed for His presence and He spoke to me in His Word and through His angels…

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Accepting His Healing

This is between You and me, Lord…

You planted a thought in my mind back in January, while standing in the cold hallway of a hospital wing in my husband’s arms… “it’s time to accept the healing…it’s time to trust Me and believe Me now.”

I can’t be afraid of putting you to shame by revealing what’s in my head…what’s in my heart…what’s in my soul…I ought to trust that You can do everything You say You can do…heal me… and that I am who You say that I am…Your beloved.

It’s time I profess that You are Faithful and Truth. It’s time I accept the healing before the test results are in and I share it for Your glory.

You are making ALL things new…and that includes me…(Revelation 21: 5)

May the peace that surpasses all understanding come flowing like rushing water to wash away my fear. May Your love pour out and fill my cup. May Your presence be evident and quiet my soul.

Majesty

“But ask the animals, and they will teach you,

or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; 

 or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, 

or let the fish in the sea inform you. 

 Which of all these does not know 

that the hand of the Lord has done this? 

 In his hand is the life of every creature 

and the breath of all mankind. 

 Does not the ear test words 

as the tongue tastes food? 

 Is not wisdom found among the aged? 

Does not long life bring understanding? Job 12: 7-12

Test Anxiety

As a teacher I know that there is such a thing as “test anxiety.” Several students experience it on a regular basis. It is the type of performance anxiety when students exhibit physical and emotional symptoms at the moment they are faced with a test. Even if they are prepared and should have no reason to worry about the exam, the anxiety/fear paralyzes them.

This anxiety is triggered, among other things, by recalling recent, poor testing history at the time of the examination. Their previous experiences are still too real, too recent for them to overcome, making them unable to disassociate or detangle the past from the present. They cannot relax. They don’t trust their abilities; and since they have to rely only on themselves at the hour of the test, their lack of self-trust causes them to crumble. They know they are on their own and they fear they can’t do it by themselves…so they fail.

I am the victim of a sort of test anxiety as well. The tests that cause me anxiety, however, are not the type I can cram for. I become anxious, fearful, nervous and at times even paralyzed whenever I face any kind of health test. And as it happens, I’m in the midst of a couple of those. Thinking about academic test anxiety, however, has given me a new perspective. It is my recent test history what brings cold chills up and down my spine. It is my inability to separate the past from the present what messes with my mind. But most of all, it is the idea that I am alone what scares me the most.

I cannot relax because I continue to think, deep inside my soul, that I have no one but aloof doctors and distant technicians to rely upon. I feel surrounded by people who are indifferent to my feelings and dependent on procedures that may or may not be flawed. I crumble because I don’t trust…I fail because I believe I need to do this on my own and I know I’m incapable.

The truth, however, will make me free. The day I accept God’s promises as true will be the day I can be free from the fear of my own mortality. So I turn to His Word and find this passage:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” Proverbs 3:5-8

The first part of this promise is very familiar and dear to me. I hang on to the words like a raft in the storm. The second part, though, is a gem the Holy Spirit only led me to discover in the last few days. “Fear the Lord and shun evil…this will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” WOW…

I know I have allowed the enemy to take advantage of my weakness and I have continuously left the door open for him to crawl into my heart. I have given him permission to manipulate my emotions and deceive me with his schemes. I have not shunned evil and that has broken my spirit and diminished my faith.

It is only when faith is strong that trust overflows, swallowing anxiety and fear in the raging currents of the river of Christ’s peace. The multi-dimensional trust in the Lord and the total abandon of our own ways that Scripture calls us to do can only become a reality when the knowledge and love for Our Great God empowers us to pronounce aloud: “stand behind me Satan, leave me alone for I am a child of God!” That’s when the fear of the Lord will cover us and His health and nourishment will renew us and make us whole.

I guess there is some cramming I need to do to prepare for my tests after all. I need to cram on God’s Word and review His promises. I need to drill the command, “do not be afraid” over and over again until it becomes second nature in my brain. I need to practice putting on God’s armor to stand up to the enemy protected by His shield and armed by His sword. I need to recall the many times He has delivered me and I need to memorize His Faithfulness, and how He will continue to deliver me again and again.

I pray that test anxiety becomes a thing of my past and that the all-dimensional trust on the Lord emerges to heal me and nourish me and all those who may experience the growing pains of maturity in Christ as we take the faith-refining tests that we encounter along our path.

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. Psalm 71: 20

Linking with:  www.rosilindjukic.com and wholeheartedhome.com