Mistakes

 Last Wednesday, we had another really exciting book chat meeting for Jamie Erickson's Holy Hygge book, and I have to say, I enjoyed it thoroughly!  I pray everyone in attendance was able to hear the Holy Spirit speak and received blessings from the two chapters we studied.

It's really interesting how this little book can be both light but also insightful.  

One of my favorite parts of the evening was when the question was asked about purchases that might have been mistakes.  I shared one of mine in great detail...but I have many others that popped into my mind as I was thinking about this topic.  What can I say, I like to shop. And among my favorite shopping experiences are those that involve something for the house.  I get these ideas in my head about how a certain corner or wall in our house would look so much better if only I could get X thing to make it perfect.  I hardly ever have money, so often, I end up just buying a very cheap version of what I had in mind, just so my vision would come into reality.  And many times, I end up regretting the purchase and having to either return it or donate it.  

I could share many examples.  This practice frustrates my dear husband very much...especially, because, usually, I buy the items without telling him.  He is too nice to fight me on them.  But, recently, he did tell me that he is tired of me buying things that later end up in the Goodwill box.  He said I have to learn the art of waiting:  waiting until we save up the money to buy a quality item (or until I forget my idea and desist...which I know would be his prefered option).  

Sometimes, the purchase is too big, and I have to live with the mistake for a long time... Sometimes, it's worse: others have to live with it for a long time.  The particular example I'm thinking about was Dylan's bed.  It was shortly after we moved to Slippery Rock.  He was going to get his own room, and I wanted to make it special by getting him a new bed.  My vision involved one of those beds that were kind of like a loft, sitting up high so we could put a desk underneath or a reading nook or something really cool.  I've seen an IKEA room decorated just the way I wanted it, and if I could just have bought that showroom right the way it was, I ... I mean...Dylan would have been the happiest kid alive!

Of course, we didn't have money for buying a full IKEA bedroom set, completed with cool storage and wall art.  So, I went to the Walmart website instead.  In there, I found what looked like a good compromise.  It wasn't a loft bed, though.  It was more like a bunk bed.  The top was a twin size and the bottom was a full size bed that turned into a couch.  How cool is that! right? Well, the nightmare began when the box arrived.  It weighted a TON.  Poor Dan.  He wanted to put it together right away so Dylan could have a bed.  When we finally got the extremely heavy boxes upstairs, Dan opened them only to realize that there were about 10,000 pieces.  OK, I am exaggerating.  It was more like 2,000.  I couldn't believe it!  Then, of course, it took several nights of Dan working on the stupid bed after work, and several mistakes, before the bed was ready to be used.  By then, Dylan had been sleeping on the floor in Grant's room for maybe 2 weeks.  

Finally, there it was, the bed was up, the kids tried it, and were excited for about a minute.  It was so uncomfortable...it was like sleeping on a bed of nails.  I tried adding more padding to the mattress, and fluffy pillows and comforters...but nothing worked.  The good thing is that Dylan was still young...but the bad thing was that Dylan was still young.  There was NO WAY on this side of Heaven that Dan would even let me talk about getting rid of the bed.  That bed was in that room to stay.  Dylan actually slept in the guest room for a couple of years, until he decided to brave his bed again.  

9 years later, Dylan figured enough time had passed, so he ask for a new bed for Christmas, and this past year Dan said yes.  But then, the terrible realization of having to put the monster apart came over him...but...the good news was, we listed it for sale on the Facebook Marketplace and the stupid bed sold in a couple of hours!  That was enough motivation for Dan to get his screwdriver and disassemble the 2,000 parts.  He was nice enough to take pictures and organize all the parts very neatly so the new owners would be able to put it back together again without much trouble. 

Dylan got his IKEA bed (not a loft, but a cool one, nonetheless) and I began to learn my lesson: stop being restless and wait in the Lord.

It's funny how today at church, Pastor Dan gave an amazing sermon that touched on certain aspects that apply to this situation.  He was preaching on Psalm 84 and on how we have a home like no other.  I can stop striving for something better.  There is no need.  I already have my perfect home in Him.  Creating an atmosphere of peace where there is enough space for Jesus and where there is room for the gospel to be shared is what I need.  Other than that, it becomes superfluous and actually dangerous.  I don't need to keep up with the latest trends on HGTV.  All I need is to remember that,

Better is one day in your courts

than a thousand elsewhere. Psalm 84: 10a

May He who has given a home to the sparrow, show us that He has made a home for us as well.

Seasons

 I love to read, but I don't really have much time for it during the semester.  I bundle all my reading for the summer.  This is another reason why I look forward to summer SO MUCH! It is my absolute, most favorite season.  Listing the reasons that I love summer with such intensity would take volumes...so I won't...I'll just say one: summer reminds me of home.  On the other hand, winter...I couldn't even begin to mention the reasons I dislike winter...just the thought of it makes me want to vomit (I hope I haven't offended my winter-fan-friends).  Fall makes me way too melancholic and spring is riddled with allergens that make my life miserable.  So summer is not only my favorite season, but the only one I truly like.

The reason I'm thinking about this is because, as I was reading chapter 3 of the book Holy Hygge by Jamie Erickson, which is on the subject of well-being, I read something that really spoke to me.  As the author discusses the importance of self-care, and how it is not selfish to carve out time to "plan for you," in order to be able to care well for others, she talked about how her Mother in Law told her to reserve a hobby that she enjoys, for the winter months in order to help her cope better with the awful Minnesota cold season.

The author relates what her Mother in Law told her in this quote:  "A hyggelig hobby, she said, would not only help me survive the winter, but it would also help reshape my feelings about the season even before it arrives.  I'd be able to look forward to that time instead of confronting it with a sense of dread." (p. 94) 

Wouldn't that be nice?  To anticipate the arrival of winter (or fill-in-the-blank-season) without dread...sigh...maybe, I should take her advice and save some of my reading for the cold months?  That could be a step in the right direction, I think.

Seasons, however, are not just limited to the spinning of the Earth around the sun.  Nature often works as the perfect analogy for what we go through in life.  As we all have experienced, our lives go through different seasons too.  Some are cheerful and bright.  Some are not.  What a blessing it would be to look forward to all of our seasons regardless of how awful they may seem, wouldn't it? As with the idea of reserving an enjoyable hobby for the season of the year that we already know we don't like/appreciate/love/look forward to in order for us to actually stop dreading it, how marvelous it would be to discover a way to survive the difficult seasons in our lives without fear/disappointment/hurt/heartache...sigh...

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3: 1

I believe the point of this most beloved passage of Scripture is to demonstrate that there is purpose in everything we experience.  Nothing is wasted in God's economy.  He designs every single part and detail of His plans for each of His children and for the whole universe for a reason and with a point.  Nothing is left to chance or caprice, including the seasons in which our heart is pierced with pain. 

Like the author says about the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 3: 1, "it indicates an ordained purpose; something, or more specifically Someone, outside of yourself who determines the time and eternal reason of this moment.  You and I can keep wasting time watching the clock, hoping a particular season will pass quickly, or we can embrace every moment, knowing God has an eternal purpose for them all." (p. 95)

I know I cannot anticipate all the rough seasons I will experience in my life, so it is not easy to prepare for them.  But one thing I can do is to stay close to the One Who Knows and Determines every spin of my world.  Therefore, something that can help us keep our eyes upon Jesus is to stay in the Word and in fellowship with His body.  Together we can survive our less-than-ideal seasons as we remind each other that God has a purpose for everything.- praying boldly and without ceasing, holding each other's hands and seeking His face -.  

May the Holy Spirit open our eyes and allow us to see the point of what we are going through...the lessons...the grounds...the reasons, as much as we are supposed to figure them out.  May He give us awareness that we are not alone as we walk through the fires and high waters, for He is right there with us, leading us and showing us the way. 

Question: What's your least favorite season? What hobby or activity can you reserve for that season to help you enjoy it more? What additional ideas could help us cope when we go through difficult "seasons" in our lives?

Love it or List it

 I enjoy watching home improvement shows...I know...what can I say.  One that I used to watch a lot was called Love it or List it.  That show frustrated me, though, because in most of the episodes I watched, the owners ended up "loving" the house...ugh...that drove me crazy.  Even the spouse who wanted to move initially, would end up "loving" the remodeling so much that they would also be convinced to stay.

I couldn't stand it! so I had to stop watching it.

Strange, right? I know.  I just get anxious when it comes to the thought of getting too attached to a house.  If you ask Dan, he'll tell you that the phrase:  "let's sell the house," comes out of my mouth at least once a day...every single day. I have issues...I know...

Anyway...as I read chapter 4 in the book Holy Hygge by Jamie Erickson, I started to think about this thing...and something in the book made me pause and consider my particularity when it comes to my aversion to the thought of getting attached to a house.  The author says:

"We've forgotten what it feels like to be at home in our homes." (p. 113)

Is that what has happened to me?

It's not about the house, how big, beautiful, stylish, organized, cleaned, etc. etc. it is.  Like Erickson reminds us, for the most part of His life, Jesus was basically homeless...but He knew how to make a home, because He is home.  The life of Christ shows us that a home should provide "an atmosphere where heavy-hearted people can unleash their burdens, find refuge, and be fully fueled and supported so they can go back out into the fray and do God's work in the world." (p. 113)  Home is where the Light of the World shines to make darkness retreat and where God is revealed to all who come in.

I don't know if I have ever made a home...

My focus has always been on the building, the house, the material things inside of it.  I don't know if I have ever, truly placed my energy into shaping the spiritual aspects of home.  I lost my childhood home in my early forties and that has caused me to reject the thought of getting attached to a house...but...has that heartbreaking incident also caused me to ignore the fact that home is where the heart is?  Have I neglected the cultivation and nurturing of an atmosphere that promotes well-being? Have I forgotten to invite Jesus to dwell in my house?

Perhaps, it is time for me to "love it." Maybe it is time for me to stop being afraid of losing the house, and just direct my efforts to creating an atmosphere that reflects the holiness of the Spirit who dwells in it as I honor Him with everything that goes on inside my home.  Like the book author says: "from the movies we watch to the songs we listen to, from the money we spend to the activities that command our best attention - every yes and no we give with our time, talent, and budget should declare that Christ is an unseen but ever-present participant in the culture of our home." (p. 121)

It is time to remember that a house is nothing without Jesus.  Therefore, I should take the author's advice and "be in the Word, and make the Lord my focal point."  

Question to ponder: Besides being in the Word on a daily basis, what other things can we do to "love" our homes and make them show that Jesus is the center, the focal point?

Hospitality and Relationships

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13: 2

I have not had much experience in the area of hospitality.  Even though I do enjoy the idea of opening my home to be the house of gatherings, for some reason the opportunities just don't seem to present themselves more than on rare occasions...or so I've thought...the thing is...I need to pause and think about this a minute: what is the proper approach? Am I supposed to passively wait for opportunities to show up...knocking at my door, pun intended...or...am I to actively seek out opportunities to open my door without waiting for people to come knocking?

While reading the first couple of chapters of the book Holy Hygge by Jamie Erickson at our church's summer book chat, my mind has been filled with endless thoughts and questions about how my own insecurities and self-consciousness might have kept me from carrying out the command to hospitality which we have been given since God first welcomed Adam and Eve to that very first home He so lovingly made for us.

Chief among all these ponderings, is the question: "what is my definition of a stranger?"  Is a stranger just the random person off the street with whom we have no connection or have ever met? Or could it also be the high school classmate whom we haven't seen in thirty or forty years? Could it be our children's childhood acquaintance whom we have never had a chance to meet as an adult? Maybe it is our next-door neighbor, with whom we have hardly exchanged a few distant hellos. 

I’m thinking more and more that the definition of “stranger” should probably extend all the way to passing acquaintances, people with whom we are loosely connected, but are not part of our inner circle.  The author of the book reminds us how Jesus had concentric circles of connections (p. 64-65).  Jesus was and is intimately connected forever in that example of perfect fellowship that is the Holy Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  In the human realm, though, while Jesus walked on this earth, He had a tight band of brothers: Peter, James and John.  Immediately next to that close circle, was the next loop: the rest of His disciples, partners in ministry.  Then, there was the outer loop, the multitudes…the strangers.  Were they really strangers, though?  Can Our Emmanuel, Our God With Us really have strangers among Him? Can we?

Jamie Erickson suggests that, based on the life of Jesus and on how He related to people around Him, “our social connections should fall into one of three categories: encouragement, discipleship and evangelism.” (p. 65)  In this scenario, nobody is truly a stranger since each person God puts along and around our path belongs to at least one of these three rings of social connectedness. 

In the circle of encouragement, I need to have those close friends, my Peters, Johns, and James.  In the ring of discipleship will be what the author refers to as my “mother-sister-daughter relationships.” (p. 67) These connections are not literally demarcated by blood lines, not at all.  I would be really losing on this one if that were the case.  I never had daughters and my mother has been gone for 23 years.  But I do have spiritual mother-figures and I know I can find daughters in every corner, if I keep my eyes open.  Then, there’s the evangelism ring, and that’s the multitudes.  That’s where all the “strangers” among me fit.

It's hard, though…opening my “home,” whereas it is my literal house or the home of my heart, soul, mind, time and wallet to “strangers,” especially those with whom I do not agree or find difficult to love.  That is very hard.  I’m goo guarded.  I don’t want to reveal my vulnerabilities and insecurities to anyone, let along “strangers.”  But, if I want to get better at loving Jesus, I have to love those He has placed around me as I make my feeble attempts at encouraging, discipling and evangelizing. (Erickson, p. 74)  After all…I don’t want to miss the chance of entertaining angels, right?

 

What could be some practical ways in which we can fulfill the command of hospitality to all our circles of social connections in order to encourage, disciple and evangelize?

Fond Memories

 Yesterday, I read a short devotional that at the end asked a couple of questions which were very relevant to this moment in my life.  The first question was:

1. What place holds fond memories for you?

Even though I have several places that hold fond memories for me...there is one that stands out as the first one that pops into my head when a question like this comes up:  the country of my birth...Panama.  As it happens, I'm at a point in my life where I have lived longer in the United States than I lived in Panama.  But...the years I lived there were formative and there is no way I can forget them.  No matter what, I will always carry Panama in my heart as my first love.  I try to go every year.  This year, I've been blessed to have gone twice.  As a matter of fact I just came back the day before I read this question, and of course, that was my answer.  

God destined it for me to be born and raised in this tiny Central American country, even though He had also designed it for me to leave it in my mid twenties.  But He knew I would always hold it in a special place in my heart.  My memories of this special place involve childhood playtime, teen-dreams and young adulthood plans colored by blue skies with the sound of the ocean always in the background, bright sunshine and never ending warmth...the smiles and the voices of my loved ones who have already finished their journey on this earth plus those who still remain...the smells of greasy foods and spicy rice...and the taste of cold Coca Cola and sweet lemonade.  The memories of my Mother's perfume and my Dad's after-shave, and the tight embrace of those who hate to see me leave one more time saturate my mind day and night...

Am I sad God's plan involved for me to make a life somewhere else, far, far away? Sometimes.  But the core of the answer to the next question is what makes life bearable:  

2. How might you make new memories today?

The beautiful truth is that the Lord allows us to make new and precious memories every time and in every place for as long as we are willing and keep an open mind.  Becoming a visitor in my home country has been a hard pill to swallow (and I can't even swallow pills)...but the new memories I have been able to make for the last, almost thirty years are what have shaped who I am.  The voices and laughter of my sons playing in the background when they were little boys...their hugs and presence now that they are almost all grown up...the very fact they exist...the steady hand of my faithful companion, walking alongside, the beauty of summer, the allergies in the spring, the melancholy of fall and even the quiet serenity of a snowy evening inside a warm home...the friendships...the church...the job...the hope...are all around new, deeply fond memories that this not-so-new place now hold.

Is it hard to make a life in a new place? Yes.  Is it impossible? Not, it is not.  The Lord's plan is perfect and in His wisdom, He knows exactly what we need in order to become who He designed us to be.  After all, earth is not our forever home.  And I'm grateful, He has promised we will one day have that...no more goodbyes...when He calls us to our last move.

Photos from Our Last Trip to Panama

The Divine Gardener Knows

 I am NOT a gardener.  But I do appreciate the countless life-lessons that derive from gardening.  God's creation is a hands-on classroom, indeed. So, every summer I make, rather pathetic attempts at planting stuff.  Most of my efforts yield disappointing results...probably due to the fact that I have no clue what I'm doing.  This year, though, I did a bit of research before I decided what to plant.  In doing so, however, I found out information that helped me with an earlier effort that had also ended up in catastrophe. 

A year ago, I decided to be brave and resolved to make a friend who needed cheering up, a planter with succulents.  Rather than just doing what I usually do, which is buy an arrangement made by expert hands, I figured I wanted it to be special, so I made it myself.  I found this really colorful and pretty clay planter which I thought would be perfect! Then, I bought a couple of species of succulents and planted them.  How hard could it be, right? After all, some of them are cacti.  If the desert doesn't kill them, how could I, right? WRONG! 

I thought I was so smart.  It turns out I wasn't.  Soon after I planted them, they started to rot and die.  Soon, the whole thing was a miserable mess and I didn't know what I was doing wrong.  I put them outside...that didn't work.  I kept them inside, that seemed to be a bit better, but no real improvement.  I water them.  Gave them light...even talked to them.  I asked them, "whatup"?  But they didn't answer...so I gave up.  Fast forward to this year, as I was researching about my current endeavors, I saw the beautiful planter, sad reminder of my previous failures, and almost without thinking, I googled "how to grow succulents." Well, the first thing I read was:  "DO NOT OVER WATER or they will ROT!  Only water when the soil is bone-dry."

Well, needless to say, I felt so dumb.  Of course they can't be over-watered...they are desert creatures.  So I went and got a couple more which looked just exquisite.  Pulled out the sorry-looking skeletons of what once was something beautiful, and planted the new ones.  I'm happy to say that my diligence has paid off.  It's been over a month and they are looking radiant! I found a perfect spot where they get plenty of sunlight and I wait until the soil is dry before I water.  I keep moving them so they grow straight as they turn toward the sun, and I tell them how gorgeous they are.  I believe I might even be able to actually present them to my friend as a worthy gift after all.

All I needed to do was to familiarized myself with the plants.  I needed to know them, find out about their needs, so I could provide for them in a manner that would make them grow and thrive.  It is very difficult to nurture that which we don't know.  What seems right for some, is completely wrong for others, and if we don't care enough to know...we end up doing more damage than good.  No water? What do you mean, a plant doesn't need much water?! In my amateur gardening skills, that was completely counter-intuitive.  But I didn't know what the right conditions needed to be for these plants to prosper...

Good thing God knows us inside and out.  He knows what we need and what we don't need way better than we know ourselves.  We complain and reject our circumstances, but God is a Divine Gardener who is fully knowledgeable on the subject of us...and what seems wrong to us, is exactly what we need so we can eventually grow and bloom.  He plants us where He wants us, because He knows that's where we need to be.  It's just that simple.  

I pray that next time we feel unseen, unknown, un-cared for, unloved, we remember that we are in the hands of the Gardener Who not only planted us, but designed us, and that He knows exactly what He is doing in our lives for our benefit and prosperity.  In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!

 

Bible Verses on Being Known By God*

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. Psalm 139:1

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. Psalm 139:2

You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Psalm 139:3

Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. Psalm 139:4

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

(*From https://www.estherdorotik.net/blog/31-bible-verses-about-god-knowing-us-and-unconditional-love/)

I Love You Because...

 It has become a silly little tradition of ours to watch the movie Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days on the last day of school every year.  We started the tradition since the movie came out in 2012. Dylan and I continue to watch it after Grant graduated, and we truly enjoy it.  It's the official start of summer break for us.  

At any rate, in that movie, there is a scene where they are playing a game called "I love you because..." It is a really funny scene which is now imprinted in our interactions as a family.  We laugh and make fun of it every time we watch that part.  

Today, I was listening to one of the short devotional podcasts that I try to listen to every day, and the minister said something that I thought was really simple, but profound.  He said: "we don't obey God so God would love us.  We obey Him because He loves us."

Our acts of obedience and of service to the Kingdom should not be meant to gain the proverbial "step" to heaven.  We can't do that.  If we could, Jesus' work on the cross would have been for nothing.  His love for us is not based on our performance, and Praise the Lord for that!  Otherwise, we would be lost without any hope of redemption.  As Paul reminds us:

“None is righteous, no, not one;

no one understands;

no one seeks for God.

All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;

no one does good,

not even one.” Romans 3: 10-12

Therefore, doing "good deeds" to earn God's love is futile.  It's all the way around.  We do our "good deeds" because He loves us and that is what a beloved child of God does.  Our acts of righteousness and obedience are all based on Love...on God who is Love!

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13: 1-3

Our motivation should always be love, but not so much to gain it, but to demonstrate it and share it...for we already have it.

The silly game in the movie we watch is all about performance.  It goes something like:  "I love you because...you cook for me/buy me nice things/help me keep my body clean..."  It is conditional love, based on what the other does for us or what we do for others.  God's love...real love...is unconditional...solely based on the One Who Is Love...it is based on His sacrifice...it is based on the cross.  We love, because He first loved us (1 John 4: 19).  There is no way we would know what love is without Him. May we always remember that.  In Jesus' Precious Name.  Amen!