Blessings in Pictures

Psalm 126

A song of ascents.

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,

we were like those who dreamed. 

Our mouths were filled with laughter,

our tongues with songs of joy.

Then it was said among the nations,

“The Lord has done great things for them.”

The Lord has done great things for us,

and we are filled with joy.

Restore our fortunes, Lord,

like streams in the Negev.

Those who sow with tears

will reap with songs of joy.

Those who go out weeping,

carrying seed to sow,

will return with songs of joy,

carrying sheaves with them.

A psalm of ascents...yes, very appropriate for a day like today, when we ascend into the new year with praise, thanksgiving and hope.  It is very easy to get all caught-up on what went wrong in the year we are closing.  It is very easy to be fearful of the unknowns of the year approaching.  However, tucked in there, in between the bad and the frightful, it is still possible to pause and focus on what the Lord has done for us.  Therefore, let's forget for a minute about the problems and the fears, and fix our eyes on the blessings of this year.  May today be a day where we can "return with songs of joy" to the arms of our Maker, and point out His Provision and His Faithfulness even in the midst of our troubles.  Happy New Year!  

Praising the Lord for 2019 and praying for a 2020 filled with His Spirit, His Provision, His Presence and my ability to see it all.  In Christ Precious Name! Amen!

My year in pictures:

Getting older...Dylan at the Mall, probably the last time I'd see him climbing into one of those kiddie rides...

The trip of a lifetime: Spain with the Engels...love them so much! So grateful that we could do this together!

So grateful we could take the boys to Spain in June!

Life is definitely better at the beach with those you love!

2019 was the year of lasts for Grant...but it's best to see it as the year of triumph and accomplishments!  He accomplished his last band camp!

Summer is the best! Outside Movie Nights were fabulous on our new deck!

Senior Picture Session for Grant at Grandma's 

The beginning of our crazy adventure going out west in May

My favorite picture with my favorite girls at the Horseshoe in Arizona

The blessing of family - The Dieters at the Beach!

Saying goodbye to summer at the Lawrence County Fair

Youth Group Adventures - selling food in New Wilmington

 

First day of Grant's Senior Year and Dylan's Seventh Grade

Friday Night Lights for Grant...

Grant's Homecoming Dance day...not his date, but the one girl who loves him the most!

Leaving the Stadium for the last time...

The bittersweetness of Senior Night

Jazz Band Christmas Concert

    

Triumphant at Senior Night

DC trip with the Engels...Love them so much!  But I couldn't find a picture of the 8 of us :( 

Thanksgiving with Nicole and Ileana...what a blessing!

Dylan made it to the middle school basketball team!!! 

Chorus concert - Dylan sings bass

Dieters' Family Christmas Dinner

Quiet Christmas at home

Christ is born!  The biggest blessing of all!

My favorite picture of Dan and I

F.R.O.G. - My Word for 2020

I can't believe it's that time of the year again...when we start thinking about resolutions and such.  I haven't done New Year's resolutions in a long time.  What I've done, however, is to select a "word" for the year.  This is a word that, as it pops into my mind, it helps me refocus...hopefully...

Some years the experience is more successful than others.  To tell you the truth, in 2019, I feel as if I fell short of the goal with my word.  It was "humility."  As I look back...I'm ashamed to admit that there were many moments that lacked humility during this year...sigh...

However, the interesting thing was that, the word did pop up into my mind at times when I was not being humble.  I did notice it...and I think that's part of the point, right?  I was aware most times when I was not being humble.  I would be doing something very prideful, and the word would come to me, as a quiet reminder of my shortcoming.  This is why, I have decided that humility is something I need to continue to pray for...not just in 2019, but every year I'm still on this earth.

But, I do have a new concept I want to keep as my guide for 2020, though.  The word is "FROG."  I know, it's a funny word; but it's because it is actually an acronym.  F.R.O.G. means:  Fully Rely on God!

I was reminded of this acronym today when thinking about a children's ministry I used to be a part of many years ago.  I was not very good at it, but my dear friend was the Director at the time, so I helped out because of my loyalty to her.  Every year we would have a new T-Shirt, and one year it was the F.R.O.G. shirt.  I loved it!  I still have it...it's kind of tight now, but every time I see it, it brings a smile to my face.  I sure had to "fully rely on God" at that time in order to keep going with my part in that ministry...I sure continue to "fully rely on God" for everything in my life now too. 

Self-reliance is what we tend to aspire in our society.  As children of the Most High, however, or reliance is on Christ!  That's why I would like to declare today that, in 2020, I want to be intentional about "fully relying on God."  I don't want to pretend that I can do all things on my own.  I want to be assured that I can do all things in Christ, who is my strength! 

It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit may give us the guidance we need in order to step into the new year confident on the Faithfulness of Our Heavenly Father.  For now, I will take my leap of faith with my FROG!   

Deceived by Loneliness

Feeling alone can be one of the most discouraging emotions a human being can experience.  Loneliness truly crushes the soul.  Even in the midst of some of life's seasons, when we are so busy tending to the needs of others and crave "me time" and pray for quiet/peaceful moments...feeling the blanket of loneliness descending upon us makes us shutter.

I remember the devastating emotions of a lonely teen in Panama.  Though it was a million years ago, the memories of feeling alone still remain vividly in my soul.  Not only was I going through the normal imbalances of adolescence, but I felt abandoned...by my friends, by my siblings,  and even upon occasions by my own parents who often seemed too preoccupied with others, but not so much with me. 

With my siblings gone, as an adolescent, Rosa was my only constant presence...that's why I felt so very lost every time she took a bit of time off.  Sunday afternoons were not good moments for me back then...stuck in the house with only my parents...my friends gone to the beach with their families, no cell phones or Internet,  I had nobody to talk to, nothing to do, but to watch stupid old shows on TV...and listen to music in my off-brand walkman.  Night time was endless.  Shadows on the windows frightened me.  Silence deafened me.  Until...Monday mornings came...and I'd wake up to the most wonderful sound:  Rosa's key unlocking the back door of the house...I could finally breathe...

I know, my memories of my pathetic teenage years seem silly when compared to the heavy emptiness of the true loneliness that so many people carry day to day...but they do help me, in a small way, to empathize with those who suffer the crushing blow of feeling alone.  Especially during the holidays...when most people in social media are doing nothing but showing off their beautifully crafted pictures of family gatherings and joy...and those alone are left wondering the terrifying "why?"

"Why can't I have what so many others have, Lord?"  "Why do I have to be so utterly alone?" "Why can't you put people in my life who'd love me?" "Why do you think I'm so horrible that I don't deserve to share my life with anybody?" "Why don't you love me enough to take away my loneliness?"

Sigh...

I have no answers...I don't know why...I have nothing to say that won't sound trite and cliche'.  All I got is the truth that we already know: Jesus is the Emmanuel, God with us...who is never far...He is the Great I AM who:  is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34: 18)

The enemy has many weapons in his arsenal...the feeling of loneliness is one that he knows works universally.  He knows that when we feel alone we feel defeated.  And when we feel defeated we feel unworthy.  And when we feel unworthy we walk away from God (if nobody wants us why would God want us?).  We distance ourselves from the Only One who can fill our souls...and every step we take in the opposite direction from Our Father in Heaven represents a victory for the devil. 

But the enemy doesn't win the war!  And that's what we must remember.  Victory is the Lord's!  He has overcome and for that we are overcomers as well!  We don't feel like it...but that's exactly why we cannot go on feelings.  Feelings are deceiving.  We must cling to the truth of Scripture which says: 

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, or lack compassion for the son of her womb? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands..." (Isaiah 49: 15-16a)

We are never forgotten by Our Heavenly Father!  The world may fail us, but He never will.  Remember, as a teen, writing things on the palm of your hands? What type of things did you write on it? Important things, right?  Things you didn't want to forget.  Well, the same with God.  And the inscription is not in ink or something that would fade away.  He has engraved us on the palms of His hands...forever etched...always with Him...no more than a glance away.

I know that might not erase the heaviness of loneliness at once.  But I know, had someone pointed me to this scripture when I was a teen...perhaps, my experience had been a bit less depressing.  

As we approach the New Years, I pray that the reminder of God's constant presence in our lives helps us realize that loneliness is a deceiving feeling that the enemy uses to crush us...and that the way to defeat it is by clinging to the knowledge that Jesus is born in us...therefore, we are never truly alone.  May we be more in tuned with the needs of others, for as we give of ourselves, we encounter meaning for our loneliness.  In Christ's Precious Name! Amen!

Holiday Blues? Already?

'Twas the Night Before Christmas...All was calm on that silent night.

The last present has been unwrapped.  The trash has been taken out.  Recipes on what to do with leftover ham have been downloaded.  Christmas carols playlists have been stored.  Christmas movie DVD collections have been put away.  Christmas decorations are starting to look irritating.  Extra rolls around the waist have made their appearance.  Post-holiday blues can already be seen in the horizon...

What do we have to look forward to now?

I know...New Years Eve is still to come...but that is always a bittersweet night.  A year closing by and the unknowns of another lurking in...I don't really want to think about it yet.

Sigh...

I think this time in between, while we're still in a daze, is the perfect opportunity to just take a moment to sit still and contemplate.  I know, in the busyness of our lives, taking a moment to just "be" might seem incoherent and wasteful.  However, we are called to do just that.  There are several places in the Bible where the command is clear.  See Psalm 37: 7a for instance:

Be still before the Lord

and wait patiently for him;

Two concepts that are super difficult for me:  to be still and to wait.  Mercy!  I don't know how to do either of them.  Being still for me is a recipe for disaster.  My body might look "still," my mind, however, can never quiet down.  At least, when my body is busy, my mind becomes distracted on trying to coordinate what my body is doing.  When my body is still, though...my mind is free to roam around corners that are best left unexplored.  Even my thyroid doctor told me at the beginning of my journey:  "You are one of those women who needs to work outside the house."

And...even though often I fantasize about quitting my job...I must agree with her.

Then, there's that "waiting" bit.  Mercy, mercy!  I'm like a toddler in that department...or like Dylan, who is worst than a toddler when it comes to waiting.  Everything has to be now!  "Just wait, Dylan! Wait one second!" Is the phrase heard all around our house everyday, every hour.  I feel like a hypocrite saying it to him since I hate waiting as much as he does.  I'm just a bit better at pretending...sigh...

My point is...maybe...this time between Christmas and New Years is yet another gift given to us by Our Lord and Savior so people like me can be intentional about being still ... quieting our soul ... waiting in His presence and ... listening to His still, small voice ...

I pray that instead of a post-holiday blues, we can see different hues while we enjoy moments sitting quietly by the feet of Jesus...trusting He fights our battles...knowing He is our Rock!  Amen!

Busy Sidewalks

Rosa and my boys...she still spreading cheer and love through generations of my family.  May God bless her and keep her. Notice I'm in the picture too :) 

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks,

Dressed in holiday style,

In the air there is a feeling,

of Christmas

Children laughing,

People passing

Meeting smile after smile,

And on every street corner you'll hear :

Silver bells, silver bells

It's Christmas time in the city

ring- a- ling, hear them ring,

soon it will be Christmas day.

Well...for some reason I woke up with this song in my head today.  It's one of my favorites.  And even though Christmas in Panama is not very much like the picture this song paints...it makes me think of my youth in my hometown...

No, we don't have the silver (or golden, really) bells of the Salvation Army ringing outside stores; and most people aren't really meeting you "smile after smile" when passing you by...the notion of "busy sidewalks," however, does ring a bell in my memory box.

My hometown is usually not that busy and it isn't a "city" in the full sense of the word; but...during Christmas season it comes alive!  

Like any kid, I always enjoyed the excitement of Christmas; but I especially got a kick of the busyness of the last days before THE BIG Day!  December 24th in the morning, particularly, when the last minute shoppers crowded the sidewalks, and made it difficult to walk always gave me a big rush!  I remember going with Rosa to downtown pretty much every 24th. Since she was always so busy tending to our needs, her own shopping got pushed down to literally minutes before the stores closed.  She would frantically hurry and scurry through desperate shoppers, hanging on to my hand, hoping I'd keep up...while I'd just marvelled at the unusual scene: busy sidewalks! 

I remember everything:  the smell of apples imported from far away places like Pennsylvania as an exotic Christmas treat, the street vendors pushing trinkets that would only last a few hours in the hands of over-stimulated kids, being hit in the head by gigantic shopping bags carried by distracted shoppers and the cacophony of Spanish "villancicos" or Christmas carols blasting from every store...

It's weird the things one remembers, isn't it?

I haven't spent Christmas in Panama in a long, long time.  And even though I'm mostly OK with it...I still feel the sting of homesickness in my heart after all these years.  

My parents are both gone and Rosa, I'm sure, does not venture to downtown or any commercial area in my hometown on December 24th anymore...but the memories remain, vividly in my mind...the selfless love and dedication of a woman who gave it all for me and my family and the wonderful times she gave me which I've treasured in my soul from then on...I would never be able to repay her...so I just take them as what they were: gifts of love.

Like the greatest gift we all received that first Christmas night, when the Holy Infant was born in a stable and placed in a manger as an offering of love that makes the lame walk, the blind see, the dead live again, the colorful lights twinkle, the sleepy sidewalks burst with people and the silver bells ring announcing that the Light of the World is here, I pray we treasure this truth in our hearts forever.  May your Christmas be all that remind you that Jesus is born in our hearts today and every day!

The sleepy sidewalks of a normal day in Chitre, my hometown in Panama

A normal day in Chitre, my hometown in Panama

Making Lists

Christmas is the season for lists, isn't it?  Children make lists of things they want to get.  Santa makes a list and checks it twice.  People in general make lists and hope to check something off of it.  Even my husband Dan makes a list.  It was funny to see his list the other day.  It is a super ambitious one.  I particularly laughed at the last item:  "relax and spend time with family."  I teased him when I read that line:  "yeah, I know...that's exactly where we rank in the list of your priorities: dead last!"  He teased me back saying:  "notice it says 'with family' I have yet to find what family."  (He always has to have one up on me...but that's a topic for another entry.)

Anyway...after I was done making fun of Dan's list, I realized something...I don't have that line item in mine...anywhere...not even dead last...sigh...

I've been pondering how to make this Christmas about what really matters, and I haven't even given my family a line in my list...

I want to justify myself by saying stuff like: "well, they don't need to be in my paper list because they are in my heart list, written in blood, alive with every beat and every breath..." but, are they?  Am I truly making My Lord and the people He has entrusted me with, my priority in life?  Or am I making the things of life the lord of my priorities?

Once again, I turn my head from where I'm sitting and I see my nativity.  There's Mary, with that expectant and adoring look in her face.  I see Joseph, hanging on to his staff, kneeling down.  I see the shepherds, filled with awe and wonder.  And I think about the one thing they all had in common:  they trusted God's Word.

Mary, against all odds and against society and tradition trusted that God would take care of her and said yes to being the Mother of the Word Incarnate.  Joseph, against the same odds, society and traditions trusted the truth of the message he received and said yes to being the adoptive Father of Jesus.  The shepherds, against the loneliness of a profession that deemed them uncleaned and outcast among their own people, trusted God's call given to them through the angels and became the court of honor that received the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  They had nothing...and they had it all.

Am I trusting God enough to leave behind the things of this world and ask just for Jesus?  Am I trusting God enough to follow His path and forget about my idea of what life should look like?  Am I trusting God enough to say yes and put Him on the top of my list not just during Christmas, but all the days of my life?

I pray that today, as I get busy cooking and wrapping presents, I remember the reason I do all that I do.  I pray that the Holy Spirit will inspire me to keep an attitude of praise and thanksgiving every second of the Christmas season that is left, and that the same attitude may endure in my heart as I make new lists for as long as God keeps me on this shore.  In Christ Name.  Amen!

Are You Ready for Christmas?

Grant in his last Christmas Concert as part of the SR High School Jazz Band - Second from the right-tenor sax

We went to the High School concert last night where Grant played in the jazz band...and it was beautiful!  The songs were all about love, joy, peace and all the quiet blessings of a silent night...I loved it!  However, for as much smooth, jazzy, rejoicing as we heard, my mind couldn't calm down.  The stress of the season kept shooting darts at my soul, reminding me of all the things I still haven't done to get ready for Christmas.

"Are you ready for Christmas?"  "Are you ready for Christmas?"  "Are you ready for Christmas?"  I... augh...c'mon!  Do you really want to know?  The answer is:  "of course NOT!"

How do you ever get "ready for Christmas"?  What does it even mean????

Does it mean:
*Did you buy all your presents (even the ones you forgot)?
*Did you decorate the house?
*Did you bake a million cookies?
*Did you mail all your cards?
*Did you finish binge-watching holiday movies in your favorite streaming source?
*Did you get all your deliveries yet?
*Did you wrap everything?
*Did you remember to begin the thawing of your ham?
*Did you buy all the ingredients for the sweet potato casserole?
*What about the pies?

The list is endless...and it stands in front of my eyes accusing me...reminding me again of my inadequacy as a wife, as a mother, as a homemaker, as a follower of Christ???

I mean, really...how many Christmas cards did Mary actually get to mail out? Did she bake any cookies? Did she have poinsettia-themed blankets to wrap Baby Jesus?  Did she get around to buying the perfect present for Joseph?  Did she get matching pajamas for the family? Did Joseph get on the ladder to hang the twinkling lights around the stable?

I know...it is very easy to become cynical about the season's traditions.  But, for a person like me: anxiety-prone, low-self-esteem, beat-myself-over-the-head-because-of-my-feelings-of-inadequacy-type of personality, it is important to keep things under perspective.

IT. IS. OK!

It is OK if I didn't get to do all the things that society/pinterest/facebook/instagram/friends/family tell you, you need to do in order to have a full-Christmas cheer.  I am adopting the attitude of making Christmas a low-stress, more personal experience.  I am trying to accept the fact that it is pretty much impossible for me to make, write, mail Christmas cards.  I am trying to accept the fact that 2 dozen sugar cookies for the boys to decorate the day before Christmas is the most I can handle.  I am trying to accept that online shopping is my best friend this time of the year.  I am learning to accept that buying a pie someone else made is perfectly OK.  I am learning to accept that whatever decorations I do manage to put up are all we need.  And most of all, I am praying the Holy Spirit teaches me that the only thing I really need to get ready for is to set time aside to truly seek the presence of My Lord, the Great I AM, the Emmanuel, God With Us!

May this Christmas be bright and may we all have a silent night so we can hear the still, small voice of Our Savior, born among us, present forever!  Amen!

Are you ready for Christmas? 

Clutter

It's beginning to look like Christmas around here...finally!

Decluttering...boy, is that a concept I've been trying to set into motion in my life for years...only to be slapped on the face by the visible reminder of my utter failure...sigh...

Failing at decluttering is not something you can hide or pretend...the evidence of the crime sits all around you, screaming at you things you don't want to hear, like: you are such a mess!  Look at this!  You can't even get rid of the junk in your house, how do you expect to get rid of the junk in your heart?

Sigh...and sigh again...

Like now, Christmas season for example, this is a prime time for me to feel the ill-effects of my cluttered existence.  There are added things all around the house.  Some may find them endearing and Christmasy.  I find them messy and just...cluttered. I become very intolerant of anything that seems out of place or junky: Dylan's normal mess becomes abhorrent.  Dan's books become nice kindle for the fireplace.  Grant's inability to fold towels and other linen after finishing the laundry becomes worse torture than pulling my teeth or my finger nails...and let's not even talk about my own work area...my head wants to explode!  And forget about the thought of having people over... my family would rather hear that WWIII has started!

sigh...

The thing is...what I need to remember, what I truly have to understand is that, feeling like a failure is one of the tactics the enemy uses to distance me from My Lord.

I mean, think about it: if I feel like a useless, good-for-nothing, worthless, sorry excuse of a woman, sub-human...chances are, I will not feel worthy of being in the presence of the Most Holy God.  And that's exactly what the enemy wants.  When I feel like a failure, the enemy scores points in his twisted game...and he feels like he is winning.

The truth is, the game is rigged from the beginning.  We win!  The children of God win!  So, all these feelings of inadequacy are just a charade the enemy likes to play to distract us from the real game happening on the court of our lives: the game Jesus played and won long ago!

What do I do with myself when I look at my cluttered home and start being plagued by a sense of lowliness and inadequacy?  Find the blessings!  Yes, I need to change my perspective and find the blessings.  I need to stop focusing on my inability to be a good housekeeper and praise God with thanksgiving for all that He has given me: turning the clutter into proof of His provision rather than evidence of my failures.

I mean, it's not like I'm going to just give up and not strive for an organized-decluttered home and heart, but I need to stop punishing myself, and stop allowing guilt to be used by the enemy as a road that leads me away from Christ.

This Christmas season, I want to look around my house and enjoy what I see, and allow my soul to rejoice in what The Lord has being so gracious in giving me...dirty socks on the couch and all.

"El Niño Dios"

Nativity on Christmas morning

"El Niño Dios" is what we call Baby Jesus in Spanish.  Traditionally, He is the one that brings all the presents on Christmas day.  The only "Santa" references I ever had were from Christmas specials on the very limited TV channels we used to watch growing up in Panama.  The Flintstones´ was my favorite, and, though I have to admit I was a little confused with the idea of Santa, I loved the fantasy of it all.  The wonder of Christmas was alive and well in my heart as a young girl in the tropics!

The thing is, I like talking about "El Niño Dios" rather than Santa because at least, it places some kind of emphasis on the reason for the season.  Of course, my kids now laugh at the concept of a Baby Jesus carrying a big bag full of gifts.  I know...I think I confused them a bit...but, anyway...sigh...

My point is, I am trying to keep Christ in Christmas.  I know the overindulgence on gifts and shopping has blurred the whole thing, but I´m hoping that some of the crazy things I do, remind my kids, and me, that there would be no Christmas without Jesus.  So, another little tradition we´ve been doing since the boys are little is that, in accordance to my Mother´s rules, we don´t place "El Niño Dios" on the Nativity scene until Christmas morning.  But, we have added an extra detail: I hide "El Niño Dios" and then the boys have to look for Him.  The one who finds Him, gets to place Him on His righteous place in the stable, between the transfixed Mary and Joseph, and He gets to distribute the presents that magically appeared under the tree.

I was thinking this morning about this tradition, and how it is kind of like an illustration of intentionally looking for the blessings.  We know the blessings are here.  We just don´t know where.  Therefore, we need to get up and seek them. 

I think of me trying to decide on the right place to "hide" "El Niño Dios" so it is not too obvious, but not too hard to find either...lazy teenagers are hard to motivate...they want everything handed to them...so it´s important to always use opportunities to teach them the value of "getting up" and seeking...but, on the other hand, it´s important for them to realize that He is always here...right where we are...even if we can´t easily see Him...

I wonder if that is how God does it too.  After all, we are all "lazy teens" in one way or another.  Often we feel content just to wallow in self-pity, blaming everyone else and God for our misfortunes...guilty!  So, I wonder if He places our blessings somewhere in the vicinity of where we are, not too obvious, but tucked in enough that it forces us to get up to seek...to seek Him. 

The mysteries of Our Heavenly Father are great, indeed.  They make for an exciting life and a thrilling eternity!

As for now, however, while we are still on this shore, I pray our traditions, silly or thoughtful, always, in a way, point to Christ for the benefit of our souls and for the glory of Our Lord.  Amen!

Grant placing "El Niño Dios" inside the stable after finding Him

Finding the Blessings

Sitting by the nativity here at home made me think of another Christmas tradition we have established in our little family: our rather large Bethlehem Scene.  It isn't anything original.  It's not even something I thought of all on my own.  It is a bit of my childhood that I carried from the warm, palm-tree-swaying, tropical-Christmases I used to celebrate in my country of birth, Panama, which I transplanted to our cold, wet, yuky, rarely-perfectly-white-Christmases in our neck of the woods.

In Panama, most homes would have a Nativity Scene that includes the whole town of Bethlehem, reminiscing kind of like the Dickens' villages we are used to around here.  Stores pack accessories to add onto your Nativity so people can expand it year after year. 

Anyway, the kids have grown really fond of setting the Nativity every Christmas season, and this year it was no different, except for the fact that we were kind of late doing it.  Grant and I usually are the ones hard at work carefully unpacking each of the figurines after bringing the boxes upstairs from the basement.  We sit on the floor (which is becoming quite the challenge for me...yikes...) and unwrap: out come townspeople, sheep of every size, buildings, palm trees, fire pits, angels and of course, the main characters, everyone is there, including the innkeeper's dog.  The process is tedious, but painstakingly we accomplish it, and with each figurine that we unwrap, the wonder of Christmas starts coming alive.  Thinking about the layout of the land, and about details such as what to use for the clouds or whether a beige blanket makes more sense than white batting for the base gives my soul a time to ponder the events of that night long ago when a young-round virgen became the Mother of Our Lord.

There's a lot of discussion at the beginning, but once we get on a roll, Grant and I set the display, with Dylan coming in at the end to give his "expert advice" on how it doesn't make any sense to have something "here" rather than "there" or how last year's was much better than this one...nevertheless...

My point is, this tradition is one of my most beloved. 

After the frustrations involving the fact that some sheep are missing limbs or that palm trees need to be leaning against the camels to avoid them looking just like timber on the ground, we stand back and pause to admire the scene.  The angels, the shepherds, the chickens, the cat, the fishermen, the little drummer boy, the crooked star and even the crippled-little-lamb, all fill my heart with the blessing of Christmas present, future and past.  I think of my Mom who guided me every Christmas season on the task of setting our nativity back at home.  I think of my boys growing up and someday starting their own traditions on their own.  I think of our lives now...so hectic and complicated.  But most of all, I think of Our Savior, and the mystery of His life among us...

I'm not very good at being intentional about finding the blessings in my life.  However, I believe that's what the Lord is calling me to do right now, right here, sitting by the nativity display: find the blessings every single day.

I pray that the celebration of the birth of Jesus will turn on the light in our hearts so we can see the gift that God has tucked in there: the gift of His Son, and of eternal life with Him.  Nothing else really matters much.  May we be intentional about finding Him. In the precious name of Our Lord! Amen!

Kids' Ornaments

Nativity at Kraynak's

The kids and I FINALLY went to Kraynak's last night to see the Christmas tree display.  This is a tradition we have had since Grant was born.  Long gone are the days of pushing a stroller around the row of Christmas wonder...but we still go...Mom and two teens, lining up in the cold, inching our way through the farm toys and trinkets, until finally, we enter the winding road of twinkling lights, sweet smells, colors and sounds that transport us to a magical place where we can truly, for 5 minutes, leave our troubles and stress behind.

What a blessing that place is.  What a blessing.

I don't know, with Grant being a Senior and all, if the tradition will continue.  All I know is that, once again, this year, we were able to go and be blessed by the efforts this store makes to ignite the Christmas flame in our soul.

The tradition calls also for the picking of the kids' ornaments.  Every year, after we walk through the display, we go to see the plethora of hanging flare and I let the kids spend some time carefully picking the one that speaks to them.  When they were too little to pick, I picked for them.  I remember that my guiding thought for selecting was to find one that represented the things I thought they liked.  We've got Elmo ornaments, Blues Clues, snowmen, robots, firemen...then, as they started picking their own, things got interesting: sock monkeys, Spongebob, dogs, ninja turtles, Mr. Potato Head, Yoda, pizza, icecream cones,  cookies and milk, Coca Cola bottles, whales, rhinos and suitcases started making their appearance in the kids' Christmas tree...

I love the whole thing!  The best part is when the boys decorate their tree (yes, they have their own tree where they hang their ornaments) and they spend time unwrapping their ornaments and reminiscing.  It's a trip back in the history of their lives and it is wonderful to watch them laugh at their choices, trying to piece together the thought line that took them to picking that squirrel ornament or the mochachino with whip cream glass...or the Elvis in full Vegas garb???

After they are done and gone to sleep, I stand by the "decorated" tree and admire their work.  I have to admit that I do a great bit of rearranging because I, inevitably find the ornaments not evenly distributed...but I certainly praise God for each and every one of those whimzical objects, because they represent the lives of my sons...and I know how precious a gift that is...and it helps me focus on the reason we do all we do during this season: the birth of God's Own Son, Our Dear Lord Jesus.

I don't want to go through whatever little is left of the Christmas season preoccupied with the things that don't matter.  I pray that the Holy Spirit guides me and helps me focus my eyes and my mind on the truth of this time of the year: God is with us!  Praise the Lord!

So, it is my prayer that whatever traditions we may have, would point to Christ and His Sacrifice of Love for us.  Happy 10 days before Christmas!!!  Talk to you soon, you all!

Just as We Are

"Well...there's only 1 you in the whole world; and that's who you have to be: the best "you" you can possibly be..." we told Dylan last night when he was slipping into one of those moments of comparison that threaten to destroy any bit of joy you may be faintly experiencing.  It's hard, though...to just be ourselves, I mean...personally, when I take a look at myself, all I want to do is hide under the bed and wish I were someone else.  I want to be someone accomplished.  I want to be someone successful.  I want to be someone dearly loved.  I want to be someone useful.  I want to be someone organized.  I want to be someone at peace with who she is...

Sigh...

Often I wonder what did My Lord see in me to decide to die for me?

It is unfathomable!  That the King of Kings and Lord of Lords found someone like me worth His sacrifice...

It is the most marvelous mystery on this side of eternity; and I am most grateful for it.  The thought brings humility to my prideful heart.  It helps me ground me on the truth that I am nothing without Him.  It reminds me that it is not up to me, and that I don't have it all figured it out, not even a little bit.  It shows me the Majestic nature of the God I love...that He chose to look at me even before I came into existence:

5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

This is the encouraging words I would like to offer to all who belong to Christ.  He knows us, and He still loves us, regardless of all that we are...and He set us apart to be in His family, as His adopted beloved, to serve Him and all He places around us.  Whether as prophets or as humble, fellow sojourners, we all have a custom-made mission that only we can fulfill.  And that is what makes us accomplished, successful, useful, organized, dearly loved and at peace.

I don't know if Dylan understood the meaning of our words last night, but I pray the Lord will reveal to him as well as to us, the wonderful path He has so carefully designed for us, to be walked by us, just as we are.

Priorities

Last night, after an exhausting day of school and basketball, Dylan came home with one desire:  to chillax.  Reality hit, him, however, when not only could he not "chillax," but he found even more stress to pile up onto his already heavy burden.  I saw him on the verge of tears, and it reminded me of...me...

I don't know how many days I find myself tearing up because of all the stuff that is piled up on my plate...I keep complaining about it, but, I keep piling up more stuff on it...then, tear ducts fill up, ready to let the tears roll down my cheeks to fulfill one of their main functions:  escape valve.   But I don't allow it...so the stress just accumulates inside of my body and heart until I explode and then the whole thing crumbles down...

Not very encouraging, I know...but, my point is: I need to set my priorities straight.

"There are things that are non-negotiable, like school work:  you cannot neglect school work because of your extracurricular activities.  Therefore, you need to see what you are going to have to sacrifice.  Our guess is, you will have to sacrifice couch-time and mindless activities like videogames and favorite shows."  This is what we told Dylan last night when we realized he had indeed, been neglecting school work.  What do I need to sacrifice in order to keep up with MY non-negotiables?  But, first of all, what are my non-negotiables?

Lines from a song come to mind:  "In the morning, when I rise, just give me Jesus..."

Jesus is my non-negotiable.

I have to make room for my relationship with Jesus, no matter what I need to sacrifice.  Then, my family...the people around me...and last, on the bottom of the pile: work.

I cannot put work first any longer.  If I need to neglect something, it will have to be work.  I know, it's going to be hard.  But, nothing worthwhile comes easily.  Somehow I will have to figure out a way to organize my priorities and put work behind what really matters:  Christ and those He has placed in my life.  I don't know how I will do it...but it needs done.  Maybe this is the beginning of a New Year's resolution???  I guess we shall see, in the meantime, Just Give Me Jesus!!!  and a little bit of time for some Christmas movie watching :)  Amen!

Opportunities to Trust You!

Anxiety, fear, worry...none of these words seem appropriate when trying to be encouraging, do they? Of course not.  However, these are precisely the emotions that move me to be intentional about seeking my trust in God.

I've always been terrified by the mere thought of medical exams.  The anxiety of the "what if" eats me alive.  A couple of years ago, though, the Holy Spirit guided me towards an attitude of thanksgiving when feeling the cold grip of fear.  Rather than submitting to panic, I must submit to prayer, while thanking Our Almighty Father for giving me another opportunity to trust Him and to draw near His Presence.

Never do I feel closer to My Lord than when I am on the verge of falling into the terror of the hospital waiting room...my hands are cold and sweaty, but my heart is fixed on seeking evidence of His Presence and His Love in me.  The precious name of Jesus resonates in my mind like a soothing lullaby...hushing my frazzled soul.

So, rather than lamenting...I try to concentrate on the blessing that these moments bring ... if my anxious state leads me further still in my walk with Christ, well, Praise the Lord for that!

A change of perspective is all it takes to put in practice the words of the Apostle Paul:

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18

May we always seek the opportunities to thank You and to trust You, Lord, whether immersed in the joys of life or deep in the pit of desolation...shine Your Light brightly in our hearts to know that You are constantly near, regardless of how we feel.  In the precious name of Jesus.  Amen!

Chicken Noodle Moments

The darkness of the skies, the harshness of a winter that is sneaking in ahead of time, the exhaustion of hectic days that rush by leaving nothing but a blur, the stress of a busy schedule, the loneliness of an empty house...they all contribute to moments becoming fuzzy rather than memorable...

Every time I hit the pillow at night it's as if the day had dissipated in thin air, nothing tangible to grasp...gone...the minutes and hours all blended into one shapeless vapor...and me, behind, wrestling to contain it, only to see it slip through my fingers...nothing to capture...nothing to put away...nothing to savor...

Then, I read this phrase, a couple of days ago in a devotional I get on e-mail:  "make moments matter..."

The soft flow of the words poured into my soul like a delicious bowl of warm, comforting, home-made, hearty, soul-fortifying chicken noodle soup...mmm...

I love chicken noodle soup.  Some might find it too plain and simple.  I just think it is the perfect, classic, pick-me-upper meal especially when feeling low.  There is something about homemade chicken noodle soup that warms my heart and cheers my soul.  I LOVE the noodles!  They are specially great when homemade. I have to admit, though, I'm not crazy about the carrots and celery...I know...I'm not much of a vegetable girl.  They tend to get on the way of the really tasty stuff.  Specially if the carrots are too crunchy or too chunky...I often set them aside...sorry...but anyway, the only way to enjoy your favorite soup is one slow tablespoon at a time...well...I think that's what "making moments matter" should be like: a paced motion that moves at a soft beat.

"Make moments matter."  The phrase becomes a chant in my mind.  "Make moments matter." Force yourself to stop.  "Make moments matter." Force yourself to slow down at least.  "Make moments matter."  Force yourself to look up and out to the world around you.  "Make moments matter." Force yourself to pay attention.  "Make moments matter."  Force yourself to really listen.  "Make moments matter."  Force yourself to learn how to say no to what doesn't matter in order to embrace what does.

The same way I can't truly enjoy my perfect bowl of chicken noodle soup in a hurry because I'll burn everything between my lips and my esophagus...I cannot do life rushing through the days as if in a mad race...because I'll burn through everything that matters.

Today, I am encouraged by the fact that I have been made aware of the importance of being intentional about making moments matter.  And I pray that the Holy Spirit will help me do, whatever I need to do, in order to savor life one thick, tasty, totally awesome noodle at a time, even if there are some of those pesky carrots wrapped around them once in a while. 

Fleeting Bliss

At the Washington Mall - Hanging out with our dearest friends!

Thanksgiving Eve Dinner at home with my sister and my niece

My normal mood is a combination of anxious/longing/melancholy: anxious about my fears of future things I dread...longing for better things that never seem to come...melancholy about the past that always seems better than anything I have today...sigh...

However, not very often, but often enough for me to notice...there are these...moments...instants of fleeting bliss...when, everything, if only for a microsecond, feels perfectly right.

Have you felt them?

I have the blessing of experiencing a couple of them in the last two weeks.  One was in Washington D.C. when our family and the family of my dearest friend in the whole world had a chance to get together for a few days, and these moments of fleeting bliss brushed my soul like the soft caress of angels' wings.  Then, last week, I felt them again, when my sister and my niece stayed with us for a week over the Thanksgiving holiday. 

Whether in the midst of endless walks around monuments and museums or in the middle of preparing turkey and sweet potato casseroles; regardless of tired feet, grey skies, rumbling tummies or cold nights, the feeling of profound joy and peace in my heart surprised me all the same.  And the experience lifted me, leaving me light as a feather, making me believe I could fly.

The interesting thing is, now that I think about it, I cannot recall any instance in which I've felt these fleeting bliss around or about material things.  They always come in the middle of relationships, around people I dearly love.  I perceive them while immersed in a reunion of those whom I consider family, whether blood related or not.  Perhaps, it is because that's precisely the message these moments are intended to send:  people and relationships are what matter in this life.  It is just like the Trinity: a Perfect, Holy, Divine Relationship between Father, Son and Holy Ghost.  It is just like the personal relationship we seek to have with Our Lord.  It is just like the gathering of the souls at the end of the road...

It is the anxious-longing-melancholy of the heart that awaits the final family reunion of those who belong to the Perfect, Holy, Divine family of Our Almighty God.  And for that...I am learning to be thankful and glad.

May the season of Thanksgiving last through the Advent season to help us refocus our sight on what really matters:  our relationships.  Because it is our relationships with God and with the people He has surrounded us with, what truly matters in the end.

Terrestrial Angels

"When God provides, it usually is in the form of people."  I read these words in the blog of a missionary family in Haiti who is in the midst of impossible situations, facing shortages, scarcity, violence, uncertainty and all kinds of trouble in the name of Christ...in a land where evil reigns and where hope seems to fade...but...God!

How many times we read in the Bible about circumstances similar to what is happening in Haiti today, then we read: "But God..."  Those two little words usher in encouragement.  They introduce the supernatural healing power of God's hand, and how He can, with one glance, change the seemingly inevitable doom that the visible course is directed towards.  And...if we think about it, often, such redirection is prompted by our encounter with a person.  When doom is impending, He sends someone.  It could be someone through a song, through a book or in flesh and blood...but a person, indeed.

Discouragement was threatening the stability of the souls of the missionary family in Haiti; but God sent tenderness and healing in the shape of a group of people who came to minister to them, leaving their hearts revitalized.  Loneliness threatens to push a dear one into the pit of darkness and desperation; but God sends the blinking light on the phone with fresh messages of hope from someone in the distance who deeply cares and is willing to be "there" for her.  Fear and anxiety threatens to swallow up the fragil resolve of the one who waits for results; but God sends a message of a prayer chain from those who support her with hands lifted up to the Lord.  Precious children are in grave need of life-saving medicine in a remote place in an island that hope seems to evade; but God sends a man willing to sacrifice security and comfort, to deliver the valuable medication into the hands of those who will safely bring it to where is needed.  The entire world was lost; but God sent His One and Only Son, Jesus to be the Christ who saves...

Today, we pray for us to recognize those "...But God..." moments that come around wearing the garment of the common folk; but who in reality are God's terrestrial angels who were willing to say "yes" to a mission that for many would be impossible.  I pray, specially and specifically for Sam, whom today is one of those angels...travelling across miles to spend an hour bringing hope for the future of the "least of these."  May God's grace, mercy, love and protection be with you.  May the Holy Spirit bring comfort and peace to your family in the knowledge that God is traveling with you...and in the trust that He is in control.  Godspeed, good friend.  Hoping to hear your stories upon your return.  In the Precious Name of Christ! Amen!

Making it to the Team

"Okay, Dylan, you've got to give 150%  of yourself.  Treat every open-gym as if it were the tryouts.  Actually, treat every practice as if it were tryouts.  That's how you show you're worth being picked for the team.  That's how you show you are valuable.  Perform well and they will want you!" 

Gosh...basketball season is exhausting and tryouts are still a week away.  We know it will be crucial for Dylan to make it into the school team this year, so we are pushing him more than ever to perform...that's how you get what you want in this life, right?  You've got to make it happen, otherwise, you get left out...

You've got to show your worth...or else, you get passed on for that promotion, or you don't get into your dreamed college, or you don't get picked to be part of the team, right?

"My kingdom is not about earning and deserving; it's about believing and receiving." These words from my devotional reading this morning (Sarah Young's Jesus Calling) challenged me and deeply convicted me and my way of thinking...

In a world where competition seems to be the only way to win...where performance is the only base to be rewarded...where our worth is measured on what we can and can't do...God stands on the complete opposite side...sending Jesus to tell us: Follow me!

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Luke 11: 9-10

The contrast between the way to achieve things in the world and the way to be fulfilled in Jesus is stark.  When the world says: your destiny is what you make.  Your efforts determine what you get.  Jesus says: Come to Me...seek Me...be still...trust...see...

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8: 32

Lord...forgive me for getting caught up in the traps of this world.  Forgive me for falling for its alluring and seductive ways.  Forgive me for forgetting that You are the Only Way.

The things that effort, performance and self-reliance can get us will eventually and inevitably fade away.  Dylan might make it to the basketball team and have a brilliant season.  But, years from now, what would that amount to if he does not have God in his life? And, on the contrary, even if Dylan doesn't make it to the basketball team, he will be alright as long as He stays on the path that Jesus has traced for him. The basketball team is irrelevant.  The team that matters, the team into which is crucial he makes it is the one labeled: Children of God...

May we understand this truth as we continue to guide our kids through the path that they should follow.  In Christ Precious Name! Amen!

Whatever is Excellent and Praiseworthy

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Do you ever feel so overwhelmed with life's worries/circumstances/situations that it seems as if you were trapped in the washing machine spinning cycle?

Lately, that's exactly how I have been feeling.  My stress level keeps rising, and often, I find myself irritable and numbed to what's around me.  I can't continue like this.  The spinning cycle must stop!  This is not what the Lord wants for us.  I lift up my eyes from the computer and stare at a big poster of a quiet, gloriously gorgeous beach I have hanging on the wall in front of my desk...and immediately, I start to long for that quietness I see on that picture.  Wouldn't it be nice to be there?  I can feel the warm sand on my feet and the salty breeze playing with my hair.  I hear the relentless sound of the waves crashing and the occasional seagull calling as it rushes pass by me in her pursuit for her daily fish.  What would I give to be there...summer morning...nothing to do...nowhere to go...just breathe and be still...

I move my eyes from the picture and the image collapses when my mind hits the reality of my surroundings: a messy desk, a needy dog, a dark/cloudy/rainy/cold morning, piles of work all around me and constant worries about upcoming tests, looming deadlines, threatening worries...

How can I re-create the peace and quietness of a summer week at the beach in my everyday life?

I think Paul has a hint as to what to do:  it's all about the things we think about.  We are called to control our minds, not to allow our minds to control ourselves.  How do we control it, you may ask? By choosing what we think about.  Whenever the daily worries start creeping in, we need to remember Paul's words:  "find the things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable...excellent and praiseworthy...and think about such things, and such things alone.

Excellent and praiseworthy is Your Name, O Lord!  In the moments of desperation, high stress, numbing fear and worry, may Your Name come to our minds as a lifesaver, to pull us out of the choppy waters and keep us afloat...more than afloat...alive and assured of the Power of Your Steady Presence, for there is Great Power in the Name of Jesus!

I can't think of anything more excellent and praiseworthy than the Name of Jesus!

Let it roll out of your mouth from the overflowing love of your heart and allow the sound of each letter to soothe your troubled soul as a tender lullaby.  Cherish each syllable as it's pronounced by your own voice, audibly, for the walls to shake and your heart to calm down.  And let His Presence bring you comfort, rest and peace to help your mind be still.

I Praise You and Thank You, Dear Lord for Your Precious Name!  How Excellent and Praiseworthy Your Are, Lord.  Your Name has the Power to calm my storms and quiet my mind.  Invade my soul with Your Presence and stop the crazy/spin cycle of my heart, in Your Excellent and Praiseworthy Name!

Whatever is Lovely and Admirable!

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8

I saw the Big Dipper!  Can you believe it?  For the first time in my 51 years of age, I saw Big Dipper!  The thing is, growing up in Panama, looking for and talking about star formations and constellations was not a thing.  Those who did were considered a bit...how shall I put it? ... strange?  I guess sailors and fishermen did know about such things, but I didn't know any sailor or fisherman.  Therefore, my knowledge of stars was limited to the "Three Marys."

Do you know about the "Three Marys"?  No?!  Let me tell you.  That's what we called the three stars in Orion's Belt...in reference to the women who went to the tomb of Jesus the morning of His resurrection.  Yep, everyone knew about them.  That's the only thing I ever saw on the night sky as far as star formations...Then, I come to the United States and boom!  I'm about the only person around who has never heard about things like "Cassiopeia," "Ursa Major," "Little Dipper," "Orion," "Big Dipper."

At any rate, we got a telescope last Christmas for Grant, and we still haven't had time to figure out all its features.  We got to see the moon a few times, and I have to tell you, it was mighty impressive...but I have to admit, the Moon is about the only thing I can ever find on the sky anyway.  I still can't quite see Orion other than his belt (A.K.A. The Three Marys).  But this morning, as I took Link outside in the brisk, still dark wee hours of our fall dawn, I turned my head toward the northern sky...and there it was!  The Big Dipper!  Right in display for me to see!  It was so clear, I can't believe I've never seen it!  I have been taking Link outside before sunrise for over a year now, always looking up at the sky, marvelling at God's creation, and never saw anything until this morning...

It was huge!  Kind of upside down, but perfectly clear.  It was as if God had opened my eyes.  It was so "there" that I still can't believe I never saw it before...it was like a veil had been removed and I could finally see...and it was admirable!

I was so excited, I came inside and announced it to everyone, and ... nobody cared.  "I saw the Big Dipper!" "I saw the Big Dipper!"  I said, "OK, cool" I heard in response...it wasn't a big deal for them.  But it was for me.  It was a gift, an it was lovely!  And it made me think of the glory revealed in His creation.  Who, other than Our Amazingly Creative God would have thought of forming the stars for our amusement and amazement? And to think that He made the atmosphere clear so we could see it!  WOW!  It's no wonder David, a shepperherd used to spending nights without end staring at the sky, couldn't help but proclaim:

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Psalm 19:1

Paul guides us as to where we should invest our thoughts into.  He tells us to place them into whatever is lovely and admirable.  Well, I tell you, today, in a world that seems to be in decay, with not much to find lovely and not much to admire, there is still God's creation and its ability to surprise us with its grandeur and majesty! Therefore, when I find myself falling into the default darkness of  my mind, I am going to remember to look up and be marveled at the lovely and admirable glory of the work of His Hands proclaimed by the skies!

p.s.:  I still can't believe I finally saw the Big Dipper! LOL!