Deceived by Loneliness

Feeling alone can be one of the most discouraging emotions a human being can experience.  Loneliness truly crushes the soul.  Even in the midst of some of life's seasons, when we are so busy tending to the needs of others and crave "me time" and pray for quiet/peaceful moments...feeling the blanket of loneliness descending upon us makes us shutter.

I remember the devastating emotions of a lonely teen in Panama.  Though it was a million years ago, the memories of feeling alone still remain vividly in my soul.  Not only was I going through the normal imbalances of adolescence, but I felt abandoned...by my friends, by my siblings,  and even upon occasions by my own parents who often seemed too preoccupied with others, but not so much with me. 

With my siblings gone, as an adolescent, Rosa was my only constant presence...that's why I felt so very lost every time she took a bit of time off.  Sunday afternoons were not good moments for me back then...stuck in the house with only my parents...my friends gone to the beach with their families, no cell phones or Internet,  I had nobody to talk to, nothing to do, but to watch stupid old shows on TV...and listen to music in my off-brand walkman.  Night time was endless.  Shadows on the windows frightened me.  Silence deafened me.  Until...Monday mornings came...and I'd wake up to the most wonderful sound:  Rosa's key unlocking the back door of the house...I could finally breathe...

I know, my memories of my pathetic teenage years seem silly when compared to the heavy emptiness of the true loneliness that so many people carry day to day...but they do help me, in a small way, to empathize with those who suffer the crushing blow of feeling alone.  Especially during the holidays...when most people in social media are doing nothing but showing off their beautifully crafted pictures of family gatherings and joy...and those alone are left wondering the terrifying "why?"

"Why can't I have what so many others have, Lord?"  "Why do I have to be so utterly alone?" "Why can't you put people in my life who'd love me?" "Why do you think I'm so horrible that I don't deserve to share my life with anybody?" "Why don't you love me enough to take away my loneliness?"

Sigh...

I have no answers...I don't know why...I have nothing to say that won't sound trite and cliche'.  All I got is the truth that we already know: Jesus is the Emmanuel, God with us...who is never far...He is the Great I AM who:  is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34: 18)

The enemy has many weapons in his arsenal...the feeling of loneliness is one that he knows works universally.  He knows that when we feel alone we feel defeated.  And when we feel defeated we feel unworthy.  And when we feel unworthy we walk away from God (if nobody wants us why would God want us?).  We distance ourselves from the Only One who can fill our souls...and every step we take in the opposite direction from Our Father in Heaven represents a victory for the devil. 

But the enemy doesn't win the war!  And that's what we must remember.  Victory is the Lord's!  He has overcome and for that we are overcomers as well!  We don't feel like it...but that's exactly why we cannot go on feelings.  Feelings are deceiving.  We must cling to the truth of Scripture which says: 

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, or lack compassion for the son of her womb? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands..." (Isaiah 49: 15-16a)

We are never forgotten by Our Heavenly Father!  The world may fail us, but He never will.  Remember, as a teen, writing things on the palm of your hands? What type of things did you write on it? Important things, right?  Things you didn't want to forget.  Well, the same with God.  And the inscription is not in ink or something that would fade away.  He has engraved us on the palms of His hands...forever etched...always with Him...no more than a glance away.

I know that might not erase the heaviness of loneliness at once.  But I know, had someone pointed me to this scripture when I was a teen...perhaps, my experience had been a bit less depressing.  

As we approach the New Years, I pray that the reminder of God's constant presence in our lives helps us realize that loneliness is a deceiving feeling that the enemy uses to crush us...and that the way to defeat it is by clinging to the knowledge that Jesus is born in us...therefore, we are never truly alone.  May we be more in tuned with the needs of others, for as we give of ourselves, we encounter meaning for our loneliness.  In Christ's Precious Name! Amen!