Do You Feel Different?

Yesterday morning I had to go to the hospital to have some blood work done, and since I had to leave really early so I could get back in time for my first class, I had to take Dylan with me. I hated having to wake him up and drag him around, but there was no other way. The good thing is that he usually doesn’t mind hanging out with me. He is my little buddy…never too far away.

We had a half an hour drive each way, so we had the Christian music station on. Dylan has become quite the Contemporary Christian music connoisseur, so he can usually sing along to most tunes while in the car. Toby Mac is his absolute favorite, though…but he knows many others of the Christian artists popular on the radio too.

I was distracted, anxiously trying to hush nervous thoughts that were loudly bouncing in my mind, when the song “He Knows” came on. “That’s my favorite Jeremy Camp song,” Dylan said pensive. Then he added softly: “Every time I hear it, it makes me feel different…”

Dylan amazes me. Just when I think there is nothing but mush inside his cute head…he proclaims such depth that I don’t even know what to do or say.

God speaks to me through Dylan’s simplicity very often…and that moment was no exception. My young son pointed out to me the fact that coming face to face with the reality that God knows us should make us feel different. His heart-felt statement made me look at my current challenges from a new perspective. It reminded me that because God knows me and all my issues, I am different and my emotions need to acknowledge that.

I am not just some dust in the wind (pun probably intended). I am someone grounded on the Solid Rock. My name is written on the Palm of the Hand of None Other than the Maker of Heaven and Earth. He has known me and my struggles since before they and me materialized. And He loves me.

If I don’t feel different after remembering such truth…I have missed the entire point of what it means to be a child of God.

I know my wrestling match with anxiety is far from over, but with each day God finds new ways to make His point on the lessons on trust that He is teaching me. And with each day I feel more and more confident that I, indeed, am starting to finally feel the difference in my soul.

The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life. Job 33: 4

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