Seek Him First

I think I am finally coming to the end of my Martha and Mary series. I walked into their house. I saw the dynamics between the sisters and Jesus. I witnessed Lazarus resurrection. I walked back home with them. Now, the mourners are leaving the sisters, and so am I.

As I prepare to cross the threshold again, to go on my way, I think of how I do identify more with Martha. I feel that I’ve walked more than one mile in her shoes. I get where she is coming from and where she is going. Simply put, I am Martha. However, the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, has positioned me, at times, in Mary’s shoes too.

Even though that is not my natural state, I know a bit about being a Mary. I know what it is to be at Jesus’ feet, realizing that, regardless of what I might sometimes believe about my own powers and abilities to direct my path and control my destiny, I am always utterly and completely dependent on Him.

Over three years ago, for five days, I had nothing else to do but to place myself in Jesus’ hands, sit at His feet and trust in the wisdom and perfection of His plan. As I secluded myself in my Mother in Law’s house, alone, on my own to wait for the radiation of my cancer treatment to leave my body enough to not hurt those around me, I, perhaps for the first time in my life, was able to encounter the truth about being a Mary.

I couldn’t do anything. I was dependent on the love of my friends and family for food to sustain my body and on My Lord for the sustenance of my soul. I encountered Christ like no other time in my life as I rested on my Mother in Law’s couch day and night. I was so weak I couldn’t really do much at all…so in that lonely family room, I listened to His whispers and basked in His presence.

At that special time when the Lord allowed me to look at life from Mary’s perspective, I found out that the secret of peace is to trust in the Lord Our God enough to Seek Him First and to surrender our will to His as our main goal for as long as we walk in this valley of tears.

Those five days are not days I want to re-live again anytime soon. But what I gained from that solitude and state of forced contemplation and stillness is priceless…for He showed me in magnificent ways that He is, indeed God…and that He fights our battles when we are spent…mends our hurts when we are in pain…comforts our hearts when we are broken…lifts up our heads when we are ashamed…and gives us His victory when we think we’ve failed.

Once again, I don’t believe the purpose of Mary and Martha’s stories to appear in the Bible is to make us think we all need to be Mary. I think, one of the greatest messages is that from whatever position we are, the important thing for each of us is to trust Him completely and to keep our eyes on Him at all times, be it as a Mary or as a Martha.

I pray that this series has brought some insight into your lives which you can apply and, perhaps share so we can together renew our minds and seek Him first!