Rush, Rush

Back in 1991, I think, entertainer Paula Abdul had a hit song called Rush Rush. It was a slow-paced, romantic ballad that Dan and I adopted as “our song” during the early days of our relationship. He even made me a super cool video to this song…I’m so sad I can’t find that thing…but don’t tell him, OK? I think he believes I still have it…yikes!

Anyway, back then I didn’t know much about Bible sisters Mary and Martha…let alone the fact that I was showing the first signs of being a die-hard Martha. The fact I liked this song, however, should have been my first clue of how I was going to turn out. Little did I know the sensual beat of “Rush, Rush” was going to become the cantankerous cackle of “Hurry UP! Hurry UP!” that is often heard nearby my surroundings, coming out of my mouth…

I rush because I always feel like I’m running behind in life... I start up my days earlier than I have to hoping to enjoy a slow morning…but it never happens. Inevitably, I find myself rushing up and down the steep steps of my house (my knees will eventually slow me down, I know it) trying to leave the house as soon as possible so I can have more time at work and take it easy, to only end up rushing back and forth in my office and hurrying down the hallways so I can get to my classroom earlier and then continue rushing through my class periods until I’m done and I hurry back to my office so I can do some work before I hurry back home to start rushing the kids to do their homework, make dinner, finish up work, do some housework so I can have a few minutes of “quiet, slow-paced” time with God which I end up rushing through so I can go to bed and get some sleep…which doesn’t come easily because my mind is rushing through all the things I have to do the next day…

It is impossible to get all caught up with my life… so I keep on the “rush, rush.” And I’m exhausted.

The truth is (which I have not yet learned) that there is a lot of truth in the expression “Who cares?”

Dan has dared to tell me that upon occasions. He has said things like: “Who cares if the house is not clean to your standards?” “Who cares if the dishes are still sitting in the sink since this morning?” “Who cares if the bed didn’t get made?” “Who cares if the laundry is piling up?” “Have you realized that you are the only one who actually cares?”

I was infuriated the first time he talked to me like that!

But…

Sigh…

Later I realized, he is right…

That’s not what life is about! I’m wasting my time rushing around to accomplish tasks of lesser importance, while the truly significant things that matter in life lie unattended.

This are the moments when my Martha nature gets in the way of true worship. Rather than keeping my eyes on the Most High, I focus on the circumstances, issues and tasks of the day thinking that I’m in control and that I can juggle them on my own. It is no wonder that I’m stressed out and constantly in a hurry. Nobody can do life on their own. I need to learn the lesson of Mary and pray the Holy Spirit helps me realized and act upon the fact that sitting still by the feet of Jesus is the best way to get things done. It might seem too passive for an action-driven person like me; but it is the most effective and efficient way to accomplish the most important goal of my goal-oriented life: basking in the presence of Christ…

It is time for me to stop the senseless “rush, rush” crazy cycle I’ve been spinning in for the last 20+ years…and learn to lean on Him from the smallest to the largest of tasks.