Am I Going to be OK?

I recently finished working my way through Psalm 23rd where the focus is on the fact that The Lord is the most perfect Shepherd anyone, sheep or human or human sheep may ever want/need…that He is the Giver, Sustainer and Protector of my life… and yet… I still wonder if I am going to be OK? Why is that?

Why does it seem like I look for worst-case-scenarios even subconsciously just, so I could be immersed in anxiety?

Sigh…

I think I lack self-discipline. I think the Holy Spirit is working in me to grow the fruit of self-control, but I keep rejecting it. Without self-control, my mind just runs wildly through the open fields of insecurity, fear and lack of trust that lead me to a place of darkness and to a longer stay at the valley of the shadow of death, very far away from those green pastures and quiet waters of peace that He promises to all His sheep…but…I continue to refuse it.

Double sigh…

There is no wonder that Paul’s inspired words command us to:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12: 2

The renewing of our minds is key to finding Christ. The one who is able to reign in his/her thought life would be able to be free to seek God’s presence…the ultimate goal! The thing is that we can’t do this alone. It involves self-control, which is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5: 22-23) and it is the Holy Spirit who grows it, and all of them in us…through His work in our Soul and the surrendering of our will to the wisdom and power of His hands.

Little by little… step by step… one day at a time… for the rest of our lives we witness the Great Companion and Counselor, the Gardener of our souls, weed and prune until one day we get to enjoy the beauty that comes out of the mess that once was our life. I believe that this day might not come while on this side of eternity… However, I do believe that we get to see glimpses of what our life is meant to be as we walk through the valleys and mountains of this world. And that is what we hope for: that those glimpses are enough to get us going as they get longer and longer so our gaze can hold steady as our hearts stop racing and our pace slows down to allow us to perceive the pure joy of a true encounter with our Lord.

I’m not talking about mysticism, here. I’m talking about reaching a way of life in which our purpose is to truly seek Him first in everything we do, at work, at school, at home, changing diapers, making dinner, watching TV, going on a trip, struggling through homework, health issues, financial hardship, brokenness of all kind…a life that is above circumstance and that in every situation holds fast to the promise of His presence and to the promise of His strength through us and through our weakness. (2 Corinthians 12: 9, Philippians 4: 13)



In order to accomplish this, often, The Lord sends to us a person, a situation, a movie, a song, a piece of Scripture, a book that speak to us in a way that we can understand…in a way that helps us move closer to where He wants us to be…closer to learning how to live above our circumstances. Right now, one of my dear and very wise friends and sister in Christ recommended a book called You’re Going to Be Okay, by Holley Gerth, and let me tell you, that book is moving my soul. In the soft, gentle and often funny style of the writer, God is communicating truth to me in a way that I get. I think this book is a good tool for restless hearts like mine to find a moment of quietness near the green pastures and still waters that we so long to dwell by. Therefore, I think that I will start posting about things I read in this little book which touch me deeply and shake me to the core. If you’d like to join me in this journey, I pray it will be a blessing for you as well.