Wondering

 I often wrestle with a nagging thought: I wonder what life would be like if I had... fill in the blank.

...if I had stayed in Panama.  If I had not married Dan.  If I had not won the scholarship that brought me to Clarion University.  If I had not done well academically in High School.  If I had never married.  If I had never had kids. If I had stayed at any of my many other jobs I had before landing at SRU. If I hadn't said that awful thing.  If I hadn't slept in. If I hadn't eaten that last snack...

The list is endless.  It's torturous.  

I wonder if we'd ever stop wondering? Does the mind ever settle? Does the heart ever stop longing for something else that it can never find? Is contentment possible on this side of life?

Perhaps, I'm afraid, all that is possible on this side of Heaven, is to merely catch just a brief glimpse of the peace of contentment... and only if we are in Christ.

Only the presence of Jesus in us through the in-dwelling of the Holy Spirit allows us to achieve a version of what the popular saying, "bloom where you're planted" suggests:  to apply our gifts and talents for the Kingdom of God right where we are, in the circumstances we find ourselves at the moment, without waiting for situations to change, for life to be different, for retirement or whatever.  Only through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit we can fulfill what Paul tells us:

Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. 1 Corinthians 7: 17

Contentment in this life does not have to do with this life, but with eternity, because: to live is Christ and to die is gain! (Philippians 1: 21)  And, for as long as we remain on this earth, we know where the secret of being content is:

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4: 13

Though the wondering and the wandering of our minds and hearts may not completely stop, we know that as the Holy Spirit works in us and through us, He is growing His fruits in our souls, among which is peace, the peace of knowing where we're headed and where we belong. 

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5: 22-23