A Nomadic Spirit

I don't talk about this much, but, I have to admit that the nomadic lifestyle has a certain appeal to me. According to the dictionary, a nomad is someone with no permanent home...and one travels from place to place looking for fresh pasture for their livestock...that last part is very intriguing:  one who travels from place to place looking for fresh pasture...hm...

I wonder if that's where the appeal is for me?  I seem to have a permanent longing for "something else..."  I don't really know what that "something" truly is.  All I know is that, I have a hard time feeling settled.  If I think about it, I truly dislike the idea of "settling."  In my mind, settling means trapped.

My heart grows restless when I feel trapped.  Of course, so does anyone's, right?  The issue with me is that I feel trapped very easily.  Therefore, my heart becomes restless very often.  The result is a person: me, who is never satisfied and content where she is.

Deep sigh...

I waste too much time thinking about our next move.  I spend too much money planning our next vacation.  I invest too much energy manipulating events and people to fulfill my longing for the next adventure.  Unlike some, I don't dream of a "forever home."  I dream of a life on the go, or at least, a life with different places to go to: an oceanfront condo in a tropical island, an apartment in the city, a cabin in the mountains, a house by the lake, and an RV to run around when I get bored.

I want to be a nomad...always looking for fresher pasture...

The thing is, the fresh pasture never lasts.  Therefore, the moving never stops.  And the soul begins to wither...and the soul that withers fails to see the beauty around her.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3: 11

That is my problem, I am so focused on the next best thing, that I fail to appreciate that God has surrounded me with beauty...and that the longing and the restlessness of my heart are not for any particular and exquisite place here on earth...but for eternity.  I'm, indeed, not looking for a forever home.  I'm seeking for my eternal dwelling, which I can only find in the One who Created me.

In the meantime, not much unlike Joseph, Jacob's beloved son, I will have to make due with the circumstances I am dealt with here in this material life.  Whether a favorite son, a hated brother, an incarcerated slave, the object of lust or the second in command of a great empire, Joseph stayed true to The Lord, and The Lord gave his heart comfort, strength and contentment everywhere he went.  

That's what I need.  I need to seek the shelter of God's embrace and trust His plan wherever I am.  I need to trust that He's got me and that I am not trapped.  Though, I will never be able to fathom all He has done from beginning to end while I am still on this earth...I must know that He's holding me by His right hand, and will never let me go.

I'm not sure if my nomadic spirit will ever find comfort in settling on one place for good.  But I do pray the Holy Spirit will go with me and bring me contentment in every situation...making me realize that there's nothing wrong with my pastures, even if they don't look as fresh as the one further ahead...Amen!