Masterpiece

 Well, this is the second weekend we are spending without Grant in the house.  I have been waiting to feel less sad before writing about him going to college and leaving the nest...but...it seems as if that is not going to happen any time soon.  So, I'm just going to start now.  Otherwise he'd be graduated before I could ponder this things without getting sentimental.

So, today, I just wanted to share the lyrics of a song that for years was performed by our Dear Debbi at church as a tribute to the graduates.  I remember, sitting in the pews, with Grant on my lap, hearing this song and witnessing parents all around me just losing it as they contemplated the words and the beautiful performance...and their new reality of having their children graduate.  I would bury my face on Grant's soft hair and inhale his baby fragrance, praising God for him, but knowing that one day that would be me.

That day came this year.  Debbi didn't get to sing the song.  All was upside down because of the current circumstances.  Grant's graduation ceremony was held at a Drive-In Movie Theater.  There was no party.  There was no trip.  No big hurrays.  The Senior skip-day lasted months.  And now, he is not home anymore...and I just feel like there was no closure to this chapter of our lives.  It's as if, all of a sudden, I blinked...and now he is a grownup ... out from under my wings ... without me knowing how that happened...

I guess that's how parents feel regardless of whether there is any type of closing ceremony or not.  It just feels surreal and disorienting.  What I am feeling and experiencing has been felt and experienced ever since the first kid ever left home and went to do life on his/her own.  I just can't get a grip. I'm having a hard time accepting it.  I'm piling up work and burying myself under the mundane...but, the sensation of asphyxiation doesn't go away.  I can't let go.

So, I'm hoping that expressing my agony may help me begin to assimilate the fact that God loves Grant more than I do... which, though it seems unfathomable... is true.  I just need to remember that, after all...He is the Only One who has died for Grant.

The lyrics of "You Are a Masterpiece," the song by Sandi Patty that so beautifully Debbi sang are my song to Grant.  Listening to it today was a combination of devastating and comforting...so I hope that marks the beginning of the road in my attempts at closing this chapter of my life. Thank you Lord, for all!

To listen to the song, click the link right below

You Are a Masterpiece by Sandy Patty

Before you had a name or opened up your eyes
Or anyone could recognize your face.
You were being formed so delicate in size
Secluded in God's safe and hidden place.

With your little tiny hands and little tiny feet
And little eyes that shimmer like a pearl
He breathed in you a song and to make it all complete
He brought the masterpiece into the world.

You are a masterpiece
A new creation He has formed
And you're as soft and fresh as a snowy winter morn.
And I'm so glad that God has given you to me
Little Lamb of God, you are a masterpiece.
And now you're growing up your life's a miracle
Everytime I look at you I stand in awe
Because I see in you a reflection of me
And you'll always be my little lamb from God

And as your life goes on each day
How I pray that you will see
Just how much your life has meant to me.

And I'm so proud of you
What else is there to say?
Just be the masterpiece He created you to be.

Source: <a href="https://www.elyrics.net/read/s/sandi-patty-lyrics/masterpiece-lyrics.html">click here</a>