Struggle with Worry? Maybe the Next Series of Posts Can Help

 Struggles with worry? Me? 

Nah!!!

HA!  I don't struggle with worry.  I embrace it...I look for it.  I worry even when there's nothing to worry about thinking, why...thinking, maybe I should be worried about something.  Yep, worry is me, alright...deep sigh...

When my dear friend brought up the book Winning the War on Worry by Louie Giglio, my first thought was..."yeah right? like that's a war I can win...sure..."

I'm ashamed of my inability to trust God's power completely.

But, I bought the book.  I've read the introduction. And I'm ready to put on the Armor of God to fight in this war, because I'm sick of being oppressed by fear and worry.  It's about time I stop my defeating attitude and dive into the arms of Jesus, the One Who Has Defeated evil and exposed all his tricks.  It's about time I surrender to Christ, trust His promises, and let Him scoop me out of the pit I've dug for myself.

As I read this little book, I'm going to try to use this space to process my reflections and sort my thoughts.  I hope it is useful to whoever is reading my musings and maybe we can walk together on this road to freedom, guided by the Light of His Presence.  In the Precious Name of Jesus we pray.  Amen!

Fellowship: 2024 Word of the Year

 I'm not sure what happened, but I blinked and 2023 was over.  The last few months went by so fast that my head is still spinning.  In the whirlwind of things, I have not had very many moments to sit down and write...and I'm not sure as to why...but there's no time for regrets, right? So here I am...on the second day of 2024 talking about my word for the year.  And the word is:  fellowship.

My word for last year was "genuine."

Unfortunately, I have to admit that I was not able to keep to it 100% of the time.  However, I can honestly say that I did have very special moments of genuine fellowship which made me realize the importance of this practice.  The moments that stand out the most revolved around book chats.  I was blessed with being a part of two book chats, one over the summer and one in the fall, which gave me plenty of opportunities to fellowship with dear sisters in Christ and see friendships blossom as we grew closer to one another and to Christ.  I also had chances to fellowship with my own family as we shared super special moments driving through Arizona, surrounded by a beauty so intense that moved us to worship.  

But, what is fellowship, and why is it important?

Well, briefly, the word fellowship is derived from the Greek word koinonia. Koinonia can be defined as “holding something in common” and is specifically used 20 times in the New Testament (e.g. Phil. 2:1-2, Acts 2:42, 1 John 1:6-7). Koinonia describes the unity of the Spirit that comes from Christians’ shared beliefs, convictions, and behaviors. When those shared values are in place, genuine koinonia (biblical fellowship) occurs. This fellowship produces our mutual cooperation in God’s worship, God’s work, and God’s will being done in the world. (Grace Theological Seminary)

Fellowship is an integral part of Christianity and it is a tool that the Holy Spirit uses to help us grow in our faith.  Through that unity that emerges when Christians gather together and share their beliefs, convictions and way of living, the body of Christ, the church becomes stronger and so do individuals.  Think about it.  Has it happened to you that sometimes you are at a Bible study or maybe even just casually having a conversation with some sisters in Christ and there is a discussion of a topic or a passage of Scripture that you thought you were very familiar with, and all of a sudden, you hear insights on that topic or particular passage that you never thought about before, making the whole thing completely fresh and new?  That is the gift of fellowship.  

There is a reason the Bible calls us to fellowship with other believers.  Paul says in 1 Corinthians 1: 9, "you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."  We are invited to partake in the divine fellowship of the Trinity between Jesus, The Father and The Holy Spirit, our most perfect example of perfect Koinonia.  It is in this unity that we experience a glimpse of paradise here on Earth.  

Well, 2024 is here, and it is my prayer that I can be intentional about participating more intensely in Christian fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ.  May we all walk in the Light together, as 1 John 1: 7 says,

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

And as we walk in the Light, may we encourage one another, bear each other's burdens, and make each other better, as iron sharpens iron.  In the Precious Name of Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith.  

Happy New Year!!!

Keeping the Sabbath Holy

 With the falling leaves comes the season of busyness.  School is well underway, sports banquets are planned, festivals and craft shows crowd the weekends and endless errands usher in the holidays.  Believe it or not, the end of the year is near and before we wrap our heads around the fact that 2023 will be history soon, 2024 will be here.  As I'm thinking of all this, I decided to re-read chapter 7 of the book Holy Hygge. Creating a Place for People to Gather and the Gospel to Grow, by Jamie Erickson...the chapter on rest.

Who has time to rest when Thanksgiving is just 2 weeks away?

Well...according to Our Maker...we better carve out time to rest, because it is not a suggestion.  It's a command!  A command that He modeled, Himself when He finished creating.  Like author Jamie Erickson reminds us, "for six whole days, God masterfully crafted a sanctuary that would reveal His glory.  For six whole days, he worked.  But by the seventh day, His work was finished.  It wasn't just done.  It was complete, lacking nothing.  In response, He rested.  With purpose, God set aside His work, and in turn, set apart the day.  The seventh was unlike the previous six; it was holy.  In the same way He had blessed the animals and humans, God blessed the day of rest." (p. 169)

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. Genesis 2: 2-3

The seventh day was, indeed, like no other during the creation process.  It was a blessed day...a holy day...the first holiday ever! The only day we can be certain that God actually rested. He is the God of order.  Everything He does is purposely done.  Nothing is random in the Hands of God.  He rested, perhaps not so much because He was tired, but because He wanted to show us what a balanced life looks like: working diligently and methodically for 6 days and setting aside a day to be restored in mind, spirit and body.  

How hard is it to achieve this balance?  VERY! Just ask a working outside-the-home Mom of young children...

But...how necessary is it?  VERY!  Just ask a working outside-the-home Mom of young children...or...anyone?

Like the author of Holy Hygge suggests, we live in a hurry-up/rush, rush society.  You drag your feet, you get replaced.  You don't hustle, you stay on the bench.  You don't get busy, you don't get promoted.  You don't move, you don't get noticed.  But there is an antidote to the madness: being intentional about setting aside a day to say no.  

Some of us cannot keep Sunday as our day of rest for different reasons.  However, we need to take a good, intentional look at our calendar and see which day would be our sabbath.  Then, work in creating a routine that allows us to accomplish the critical things that need to be done around that day we set apart, so when questions about commitments come up, we can say, "not on my sabbath." Easier said than done, I know.  But not impossible.  And we probably won't get it perfectly taken care of right away either.  But we need to strive for it.  It's God's commandment...and the reason this, seemingly curious idea made it to the law was because God knows us, He knows our limitations and He knows we need it in order to function properly.  Let's not forget about it.  Let's not skip it.

As we rake the last autumn leaves on our yard, and get ready to jump into the holidays, let's remember to keep the holy day, holy...even if the best we can do to start is to set aside part of it, until we figure out our routine, always under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, cooperating with Him, as He shows us the way.  

Prayer:

Dear Lord, I know I can't do this alone.  I need Your strength to help me figure out how to keep the Sabbath Holy.  I am often overwhelmed by all the responsibilities that seem to fall on my shoulders.  Help me open my eyes to realize the truth of what I really need to do and to discern what you have placed on my to-do list.  May my work be done unto You, Lord...not unto me.  Give me the understanding to know what You have designed for me to do as supposed to what my pride decided it was my lot.  Show me what I need to release, and what I need to receive in Your Precious Name, Lord Jesus, so my life can reveal a glimpse of Your eternal desire to restore us.  Amen!

(prayer inspired by the prayer found on page 191 of the book Holy Hygge) 

The Right Clothes to Wear

 I've been thinking about clothing a lot, lately.  Perhaps it is because I've gained so much weight during the summer that nothing fits...maybe it is because I've been watching reels on social media about the latest fall styles, what's in and what's out for women over 50...or it might even be because I'm using retail-therapy to treat my discontent...

Between you and me, I think it is all of the above.

The thing is, I've been spending way too much time and money trying to figure out the right clothes to wear so I'd feel comfortable with myself and with who I am at this point in my life.  And I'm beginning to see that I might be on the wrong track.  

Recently, I read a devotional that spoke to me on this junction.  It talked about a concept called "slow fashion."  It explained how this "slow fashion" movement encourages people to slow down and take a different approach to the dictates of the fashion industry.  Instead of letting oneself be driven by the need to always have the latest look, slow fashion encourages us to select fewer, well-made and ethically sourced items that will last.  The writer of the devotional linked this idea to the truth presented in Colossians 3: 12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  In other words, put on Christ!  Forget about the latest trends, and join the slow journey of sanctification that leads to a peace without understanding, knowing who we are and feeling confident and secured in our identity as children of the Most High.  

All of these ideas reminded me also about our beloved book, Holy Hygge. Creating a Place for People to Gather and the Gospel to Grow by Jamie Erickson, more specifically, about the chapter on contentment.  The author says that our lack of contentment usually comes from the enemy's attempt at distorting our perspective. (p. 155)  We fall for the devil's tricks and start believing that if I could only change my circumstances: get a better job, a nicer house, well-behaved kids, a good husband, friends, boss, body, clothes, health (etc.) life would be bearable.  The truth is, however, the proverbial grass will "never feel green enough or warm enough or fill-in-the-blank enough this side of the second Garden of Eden." (p. 155)  We are not in Heaven.  Life is not supposed to be perfect here on this earth.  But, it is supposed to be abundant!

Jesus holds our hearts, and our souls, and our bodies and who we are in His Hands.  Our identities are safely guarded in Him, and even though the enemy wants to steal our sense of security, and threaten our contentment, we need to remember what Jesus promised in John 10: 10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

The thing is, the real definition of an abundant/full life is not what the world thinks it is.  We find out what it means as we walk with Jesus every day, on the path that God has laid out for each one of us.  As we walk on it, instead of allowing discontentment to bring us down, we need to remember what author Jamie Erickson says:  "find ways to be grateful for what IS instead of always looking ahead to WHAT IF...[and] let us change perspective.  Let's walk in truth, serve others, and live with gratitude.  Let's not waste another minute complaining about the weather [our health, our bodies, our clothes, our house, our jobs, our kids, our husbands or lack of thereof].  Let's just learn to put on better clothes." (p. 165)

I don't think I'm going to find the right clothes to wear by watching reels on Instagram, or by shopping on Amazon until I'm broke...slow or fast fashion aside, I pray the Lord awakens in me the desire to become who He has designed me to be, as I choose clothes from the wardrobe He has already so graciously given to us: His Word.  In the Precious Name of Jesus, the One Who Clothes us with His Righteousness and Love for His Honor and Glory.  Amen!

Refresh Others and You'll Be Refreshed, It's a Promise!

 Is it possible to say no to stress, and just live a relaxed life? A life without rush...without worry?

I have been exploring this question for a while now.  In my pursuit to freeing myself from stress, I've been contemplating the possibility of enacting in my life the idea that: "you can't always change your circumstances; but you can change your perspective."  But I have to admit, I'm still struggling to accomplish it fully.  Perhaps it is because my personality doesn't lend itself for a "just chill" attitude.  I'm a natural born overreactor, and my default is to panic.  The summer book chat, where we read Holy Hygge. Creating a place for People to Gather and the Gospel to Grow by Jamie Erickson, allowed me to take a few small steps forward in the direction of changing the perspective from which I see things...and for that I am very grateful.

The book does not contain a magic formula, a secret recipe, a 5-easy-steps to a stress-free life or anything like that, but it helped me understand that maybe, a way to break the chain of worry and stress is by focusing on Jesus and on His people, rather than on myself.

The author points out how the concept of holy hygge derives from a desire to create community, invite closeness, build well-being, and celebrate the everyday (p. 15) as we open ourselves to the body of Christ so we can share our burdens, and encourage one another.  After all, Scripture commands us to do just that:

1 Thessalonians 5:11 — Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Philippians 2:3-4 — Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Proverbs 27:17 - “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”.

Proverbs 11: 25 - A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

Look at the last verse again, Proverbs 11: 25b...whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.  That is a promise, my dear! That refreshing we are so desperately seeking, is contained in the act of refreshing others along the way.  By giving of ourselves we find the abundant life, just as Jesus gave it all, to pay it all.

Like the author says, practicing hygge from a Christian perspective may help us set our gaze in the right direction, and offer practical application to what we learn in Scripture...a kind of companion for making a home where people can feel their way toward God and find Him...a physical tool that reflects our spiritual life and invites others into a relationship with Christ. (p. 18)

The concepts in the book Holy Hygge will not magically allow me to free myself from stress so I can live a chilled life.  But I'm sure that by helping me forget about me, and setting my gaze on others as I grow closer to Jesus, will, definitely allow me that change of perspective that I've been looking for all my life.

What practical changes and real steps might you make/take in your life to help you become an encourager who refreshes others?

Comforting the Hurting Part II

I open my eyes and it's pitch black. How is that possible? It's 6:00 a.m. Just a few days ago, 6:00 a.m. was still brightly shining with the morning sun in all its glory! What happened?

sigh...

Darkness always catches me by surprise this time of the year. I get so used to summer with its early mornings and long evenings...that when fall starts creeping in...I'm never prepared.

"Once, upon the last day of a golden summer..." there was a middle-aged woman and her melancholic view of the arrival of autumn...anyway...

As my process of saying goodbye to summer is underway, I'm back on chapter 5 in the book Holy Hygge by Jamie Erickson. This chapter has several thought-provoking insights on the topic of suffering and comforting those who are going through the valleys of the shadows. The author relates going through hard times to experiencing winter in her place of residence.  She explains how winter in Minnesota is not her favorite season, especially being a transplant from the valley of the sun in Phoenix, Arizona. She went from a place that gets 200+ days of sunshine to an area that doesn't even get 100.  Winters are, therefore, her wilderness...her valley of hurt...the metaphor that she uses for times of struggle and difficulty.  And I can totally relate!

One of my favorite quotes says:

"Sometimes in God's love for us, He walks us through the bleakness of winters, not around it.  He knows that in our emotional poverty, we will lean harder, cling tighter, trust longer while sitting in pain than in pleasure.  our winters will make us desperate for Him and the comfort only He can provide." (p. 134)

WOW!

It is winter, not summer, that will create the best conditions for me to grow closer to Christ. It is in our winters when we truly appreciate how He wraps us in the comfy blanket of His presence. It is in our winters when we truly experience the deep gratitude for how He provides the sustenance that we are unable to get for ourselves.  It is in our winters when we truly have the deep awareness of how He walks with us, and often carries us in the warmth of His arms. It is in our winters when we realize our profound need for His angels, the people He has placed around us, to be by our side.

The second question in our little survey during our summer book chat asked:

When I was in need of comfort, I wish someone had______________  

So often, we just don't know what to do or say to offer a bit of comfort to those going through their own winters.  So often, when we ourselves are the ones in the middle of our winters, we don't even know what we need from those willing to help us out.  That's why we thought it would be a good idea to compile a list to keep handy for when we should communicate our own needs for comfort as well as for when we need to extend actions of comfort to those in their seasons of hurting. So, here's a brief summary of some specific actions of comfort that might get overlooked in the midst of the struggle:

First of all, it is important to mention that the majority of the respondents had nothing to add to this list of "I wish someone had..." mostly because "We have a loving church," as it was noted.  Personally, I have to absolutely agree with that statement.  In my own spiritual winters, the church has been present and active to provide for my well-being.  It is a magnificent blessing to be a part of such a loving and caring church family, so Amen to that!  However, we did get some very valuable insights that I believe will help the body of Christ represented in our beloved New Bedford Church, be the arms, hands, feet and heart of Christ in an even deeper way.

The comments we received all revolve around one word:  Remember.

Remember my beloved who is gone...allow me to remember them, and...remember me.

In our desire to help those hurting, sometimes we might try to have a posture of: "life goes on" or "it's time to move on," when we are in the presence of the one suffering the loss. However, as we experience loss, life does go on...but never in the same way.  Life is forever altered, and "moving on" will never mean, going back to the way things used to be.  That will never be the case.  Maybe superficially, but we will always walk with holes in our hearts that will only be filled when we are reunited with our beloved departed once again in a heavenly reunion. In the meantime, it is important to remember the person that is no longer with us.  Those needing comfort due to loss of a loved one want to keep them alive, if not physically, at least in our memories.  There isn't anything quite more comforting than to hear stories about those who have gone before us, who we loved so dearly, out of the mouths of those around us. Those stories are like looking at photographs or watching a home video where we "see" them again...and that feels just like a comfy blanket in the middle of a harsh winter.

As part of remembering those left behind after a loss, some of the suggestions were very practical.  For some, help with taking care of the daily chores could be an excellent way to offer comfort.  Helping with the laundry and the cleaning are small things we can do to help in the process of healing.  Bringing meals several weeks after the loss has occurred is a great idea too.  "In death sometimes so much arrives in the beginning." [But] "it is nice 6-8 weeks down the road when someone still 'remembers' and the dinner is so very appreciated."  

Another practical thing we can do is to invite the one in need of comfort to go out to have lunch or to do some kind of activity, even if just a walk at a nearby park.  The ability to get out of the house and be among others, sharing a meal, breathing fresh air, listening to the hustle and bustle of life could be very comforting when the time is right for it.  And it constitutes another way to create opportunities to remember.  And of course, pray.  Prayer is one of the most effective ways to extend comfort to others as we connect with the source of all comfort: 

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. Matthew 18: 20

I open the blinds and smile! 

There are blue skies and sunshine outside.  It's a bit chilly still, but I can predict the sun will warm up my skin if I step outdoors.  I know winter will come eventually, but I'm hanging on to summer for as long as I can.  I'll get my flip flops and go for a walk, confident in the fact that the Lord will hold me closer when there's nothing but snow and gray skies out my window...and so will my church family, as we walk through our seasons together.  In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!

Comforting The Hurting

 Someone you know faces a tragedy, a life-altering event, a profound loss, a catastrophic circumstance that to them feels as if the floor had been removed from under their feet, leaving them endlessly falling into a bottomless abyss...what do you do?  What do you say?

Regardless of how close the person going through the difficult situation is to you...regardless of the depth of the pain experienced...knowing exactly what to do or what to say is not easy.  BUT it is crucial.  It is crucial that we react with our utmost compassion and overflowing love, because the person going through the incident has a very specific set of needs, that if not met, they can cause lasting hurt that is not easily mended.  

I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist or a bereavement expert or anything close to an authority on matters of loss and grief.  But, one doesn't have to be to know that how we respond to those who are hurting is extremely important to help them along the process of grieving so they can finally begin to heal.  Again, I'm far from a specialist, and all I can do is speak from my own experiences with grief, but there is comfort in knowing that we do not walk alone.  Therefore, I believe sharing our experiences can be beneficial to all involved.  This is why, when we read chapter 5 in the book Holy Hygge by Jamie Erickson, the facilitators thought it would be important to have a way of communicating our thoughts.  Chapter 5 is the chapter dedicated to comfort.  And if you are anything like me, that is probably one of your most heavily highlighted chapters, right?

As part of our group reflections on this very special chapter, the facilitators asked participants to answer 2 questions:

1. When I was in need of comfort, I really appreciated it when someone __________________

2. When I was in need of comfort, I wish someone had _______________________________

The questions yielded valuable insight that we would like to lay out here for all to gain more understanding and practical ideas that could help us have some guidance as to what to do or say when confronted with the reality of hurt whether in ourselves or among those around us, and have a clue of how to comfort them.  

Among the things that were appreciated we found that receiving cards and frequent notes of encouragement and prayers were common among those who answered the questions.  The action of reaching out is the key here.  Reaching out to the hurting.  The message is: do not let them hurt alone.  Prayers are always the most effective responses when in need of comfort.  But, perhaps the action of prayer should be accompanied by the action of reaching out and praying with the person. Calling and texting and praying alongside with the one who is going through the difficult situation seemed to be critical responses that were much appreciated.  

On this same topic of reaching out, those who shared their answers with us communicated their deep appreciation for hugs.  Embracing someone who needs comfort is an act of solidarity that expresses our willingness to be vulnerable right by their side, and maybe a bit further...as we hold each other closely, we communicate our willingness to help carry the hurt.  So let's never underestimate the power of a hug.  

Listening was another important, highly appreciated element. Sometimes, when we are hurting, some of us prefer to keep it all inside.  Talking about our pain with others, however, is crucial to the healing process.  It is the escape valve that allows the toxicity of our hurt to exit our soul and our heart and our minds.  Therefore, finding that one person we can talk to is key...and if we are that person...knowing how to just be quiet and listen may represent the first step in helping the hurting to begin to heal.

Of course there is a time for everything under the sun, so there is a time to be quiet and listen as well as there is a time to speak.  And, among the responses that people appreciated we found that when the hurt involves losing a loved one, they love to hear others talk about their memories of that person with them.  From my own experiences with loss, when I hear others talk about my loved ones is like lighting a candle that allows me to see and remember that they were, indeed, real.  That it wasn't a dream.  My beloved departed really existed and was loved by others beside me.  That brings a touch of joy in the midst of my pain.

Visits and meals are high ranking among the responses too.  Again, I believe all these practical actions lead to the need to feel connected when we are going through something painful.  And for those of us who tend to withdraw...it becomes super valuable and urgent for those around us to reach out and show that they are there...ready to catch us, as the arms and legs of Jesus, Himself...angels among us, bringing us back to the land of the living.  And what best to show we are there than to visit and bring some comforting food?

This is a brief summary of the answers to the first question.  Let's leave it here today so we can meditate on the ideas that were so candidly shared.  In the next message, I will summarize the answers to the second question, to help us be prepared for when we need to be moved to action.

In the meantime, may we remember that our Divine Comforter makes all things new, even in the middle of our bitter seasons of life.  May we always remember we do not walk alone.  The sustaining presence of the Holy Spirit goes with us as well as those He has placed around us.  In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!