Am I Going to Be OK? The Fruits of the Spirit

How we display or not, the fruits of the Spirit in our lives is a way to measure our spiritual maturity.

GULP!

Yep, double gulp, actually.

I have to admit that hearing this idea did not fill my heart with joy. When our dear pastor developed this concept at church last Sunday, I sort of cringed. I wanted to become invisible. I felt my face turning red with the blush of shame. I thought I perceived a subconscious, split-second glance coming my way from the members of my family sitting next to me on the pew. However, I don’t think it was them, really. I think it was me, having a momentary out-of-body experience, staring back at my pitiful self as an outsider…judging myself in silence.

Sigh…

I do not feel like I do a good job displaying the fruits of the Spirit in my life. Therefore, I am not a matured Christian. I am in the infant stages of my spiritual walk with Christ. I might not even be crawling, if you ask me… I’m a baby on her back who can’t even lay on her side.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5: 22-23

I struggle to display some, more than others, but the truth is, I struggle with all of them. I can’t honestly say I display any of them in any significant way.

I have meditated on them. I have prayed that God grows them in me. I have tried to incorporate them in my life. I have failed in all my attempts.

Notice how many times I have said “I” so far. I stopped counting at 20 times.

Jon Courson’s Bible commentary says, on this topic of the fruits and “I”: “Too often we want the fruit of the Spirit in our lives so we can be satisfied, so we can be happy, so we can be fulfilled. But that’s not the purpose of the fruit…fruit bearing is not for our own satisfaction, but in order that others might be nourished from the fruit produced in, through and often, in spite of us. Focus on yourself, and you’ll be miserable. Be a lover of God and of people. Get your eyes off your problems and pains, your tears and fears. Look for ways to refresh, satisfy and bless others… and you’ll find the secret of life itself.”

It’s all about remembering that it is not about us. Living by that concept, however, requires a transformation of our mind that will allow the shift on perspective. Change is difficult. I have spent almost half a century being self-centered. Changing that fact is not either easy nor quick. I am part of the “microwave-instant-right-now” generation, like Holley Gerth calls it. Therefore, I tend to think that change should happen as soon as I decide it’s time. As she so clearly states in the chapter about the brain in her book You Are Going to Be Okay, change simply doesn’t happen that way. The brain is not wired in a way that the transformation of our way of thinking and how we handle events could happen instantaneously.

Of course, God can work a miracle in us whenever and in whichever way He’d like to. He designed our brains, however, so He knows exactly how it works. Therefore, the demands that we impose on ourselves are just that: self-imposed, unrealistic demands. We need to give ourselves permission to be imperfect. When we lift our demands for perfection…when we stop making it about us, God moves forward. Releasing ourselves from our own traps is a transformation in and of itself. This transformation is not easy or quick either. Therefore, the exhortation to praying without ceasing. Being intentional about praying as we step aside of our own lives to allow the Holy Spirit to move forward in the messy garden of our souls is of the utmost importance.

Holley Gerth’s exploration of the brain in chapter 3 of this powerful, little book is extremely interesting and revealing. Her strategies on how to change the way we handle our circumstances and how we think about them is very thought-provoking. Her idea of using the fruits of the Spirit as a tool to measure our thought-live against, in order to rationally collaborate with the Holy Spirit in the transformation of our mind is life-altering. I will focus on this particular aspect of chapter 3 in the next post. In the meantime, hang on to Christ and thank Him for the healing power of His presence at all times.

Am I Going to Be OK? I’ve got nothing going for me…

Another hectic day full of stress is over. I lay my exhausted head on the pillow and instantly, like a programmed back up system, I begin to go over the insane events that happened just before bedtime. The screen of my mind fills up with horrible scenes. The scenario plays back as if on repeat: I yell. Those around me duck for cover. I feel ashamed. I feel like a failure. I feel like I’ve got nothing going for me. I feel like I’m the worst everything: the worst friend, the worst co-worker, the worst teacher, the worst aunt, the worst niece, the worst daughter-in-law, the worst cook, and most of all, the worst Mother, the worst Wife and the absolutely the worst Daughter of the Most High…

Sigh…

Then, I remember Holley Gerth wrote something about this in her book You’re going to be Okay:

“Stress and bad days seem to empty our hearts and our hands. We think, “I’ve got nothing… or at least very little.” But the reality is, you still have a lot going for you…When life presses in on us, we can lose sight…sometimes it helps to ask someone you trust, ‘What do I have going for me?’ You might be surprised by the answer. It could be your great sense of humor. The way you faithfully pray. Even that your new hairstyle looks fabulous on you. Whatever the answer, big or small, the real point is to begin to shift your perspective.” (P. 45)

Hmmm…

There is so much good stuff packed in this little paragraph, I don’t even know where to begin…

The thing is that our circumstances can wreak havoc in our souls, hearts and minds. In my case, when I’m having a particularly stressful day or I’m going through a challenging situation, I lose it. My temper becomes so short that Daisy Duke’s short-shorts look like Capri-pants. I lose it. I lose it. (You know how in the Bible they repeat things for emphasis, yeah, that’s what I’m doing here). Then, the result of my emotional surge is inevitably always a combination of remorse, shame and guilt…a devastating combination.

I have a hard time ever thinking I have anything going for me, let alone on those moments of hysteria. During the aftermath of my losing it, I feel like there is nothing good in me at all. That is a trap from the enemy, though. In my case, that is one of the biggest lies he uses to entrap me into a pit of darkness.

The truth is that, even though: As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one;” (Romans 3: 10) Like the author says, we do have a lot going for us! And I mean, A LOT! Regardless of the fact that nobody can claim that he/she is righteous and good on his or her own, we do have the righteousness of God in us:

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. Romans 3: 22

Therefore, the lie of the enemy is unmasked, and his deceit is revealed once we put it to the test of the Word.

The thing is that we are very quick to forget. That is why the advice the author gives in this section is so valuable: ask someone you trust to remind you of what you’ve got going for you! We all need a support group. We all need people around us who can help us stay on track. We are not designed to be alone. We were created to be in community. Look at the Trinity! Our God, Himself is in a divine fellowship within Himself. It is not a surprise, then, that He created us to live in fellowship. He knows that is the most effective way of existing.

Church can be the most important source of friends we could ever have! In my case, God has given me the blessing of placing me in a church where I have found other sisters in Christ whom I can reach out to always, but especially during my times of trial and fire…and you know what the miracle is? That they actually walk with me through those trials and fires. That is the beauty of Christian sisterhood.



We should seek those relationships, and if you are lacking them, I believe, the place to start finding them is at a Bible preaching place of worship, where it is evident that imperfect people are followers of a Perfect God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

Am I Going to Be OK? Peace is a Person

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I’m home with my boys, enjoying a peaceful, cold, November afternoon. My belly is full and so is my fridge because Grant, Dylan and I spent the entire morning working on our Thanksgiving banquet. Ever since the grandchildren stopped being babies, leftovers at the Dieter Family Thanksgiving dinner became non-existent. Therefore, I have been making a whole meal for us here at home, so I can enjoy the holiday without having to worry about cooking for a few days. This year, the boys were interested in helping with the cooking, so it was very special.

Now, I’m sitting here with joy in my heart and peace in my soul, which brought me back to the book You’re Going to be Okay by Holley Gerth. Today, I wanted to meditate on one of the many wonderful concepts that the author offered in chapter two: You Are Stronger than You Think. In this chapter, she walks through several of God’s Names, but the one that touched me the most was: Jehovah Shalom: The Lord is Peace. (Judg. 6)

Sigh…

Peace… from my perspective, peace is the most sought-after treasure … and in this chapter, I came to the realization that Peace is not a thing, a place or even a state of mind. Peace is a Person.

“While external circumstances may be difficult, it’s the inner turmoil that often wears us down most. We worry. We fret. We lie in bed and stare at the ceiling…We think if things were only different, we wouldn’t be so uptight. But then, when things change, the worry stays-we just switch the focus.” (43)

I read that, and I had to pause…I had to pause because that is so true. I never heard it articulated, but it is completely true in my life. I get done worrying about something I didn’t even need to worry about in the first place, when thoughts of other things that may be bad pop into my head, transforming what should have been a season of peace into a fleeting moment, too short to even appreciate.

Sigh…

And that is because my peace is based on my circumstances. Circumstantial peace is not real. It’s an illusion. It’s unstable too because circumstances change with every breath we take. Therefore, peace cannot be based on anything that could be attained, grasped, purchased, manufactured, manipulated, shaped, controlled, packaged or locked away. Peace is not a thing. Peace is a Person:

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16: 33

Jesus Himself is Peace. He is the Prince of Peace:

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9: 6

He is Peace made into flesh, and He is with us at all times, regardless of our situation or circumstance…He stands with us in quiet, slow, lazy, November afternoons when everything is right with the world, as well as in dark, stormy, frightening nights when the world is at war inside our souls.

Peace is a Person who lives in us, not a thing to be attained.

He is stable. He is strong. He is always with us. And most amazingly of all, He loves us. To whom then, shall I fear?

Am I Going to Be OK? I am an Overcomer!

Well, like I mentioned in an earlier post, one of my dear, dear, dear friends and sister in Christ recommended the book You’re going to be Okay by Holley Gerth, and it has been such a blessing to me, that I decided to blog about my experience reading this wonderful little book. Of course, I’m not just going to re-write this book here on my blog. I’m simply going to meditate on the things that touch me the most. Since the book is proving to be really speaking to me, I anticipate this series to take a while.

Today, I wanted to write about the segment where the author talks about the fact that we are overcomers. We are! Jesus Himself told us so:

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16: 33

I’m not a native speaker of English, as you can tell, so I find myself consulting my good, old friends Merriam and Webster quite often. Today, I looked up a quick definition for the idea of overcoming. Here’s what I found:

1. to get the better of in a struggle or conflict; conquer; defeat: to overcome the enemy.

2. to prevail over (opposition, a debility, temptations, etc.); surmount: to overcome one's weaknesses.

Hmmm…

Pretty powerful word that is, isn’t it? To say that Jesus overcame the world is totally verifiable, acceptable and unquestionable. To say that I have overcome the world, however… yeah… not so much.

I look at my life… my every-day-life, and see nothing but defeat. My struggles, my day-to-day struggles drown me in worry, fear, anxiety, panic, and make me feel weak and often hopeless.

I am definitively a glass half-empty person. Actually, I am an empty glass person because even though the glass might still have water in it, I know, I see it already empty in my head...just waiting for someone to knock it over and not only spilling its content but shattering it into a million pieces.

Pathetic, I know… what can I say? This is my greatest struggle in life. To trust God enough to let go of my fears… to let go of the idea of control I have ingrained in my mind. And just let Him be God in my life… all of my life.

The good news is that Jesus does not leave us where we are. He moves us along in the path that He has designed for us. In my case, He usually drags me kicking and screaming, but He does get me moving. His power is made perfect in my weakness, remember? (2 Corinthians 12: 9) And boy, He is really strong, ‘cause I’ve got a lot of weakness in me…

The point is that, He speaks to me, through His word, through song and music, through the people He has placed on my road, through teachers, through books, so, here comes this book stating that:

“God’s victory in this world does not depend on you. It depends on one thing alone: Christ’s death on the cross and resurrection three days later. You can’t lose the war for God or for yourself. It’s not about you or me at all. We simply get to partake in the victory. That means there is no shame in losing a battle now and then. It means we are imperfect people in a broken world.” (page 26)

How I love these words!

Let’s take another look at what Jesus said, again:

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16: 33

He has done it all! He is not saying here that we have to do anything at all in order to overcome the world. He is telling us that He already has, so we don’t have to. He is telling us that all is left for us to do is to have peace in Him. Regardless of the troubles that we will have, ‘cause He does state the fact that we WILL have trouble, we can rest in Him and be at peace in the truth that He has already taken care of it all and we get to be a part of that victory that we did nothing to obtain. Therefore, I don’t have to worry about being ill-equipped or inadequate for the battle because He has already won the entire war all on His own!

It is mind-blowing! We get to win the war that we didn’t even have to fight. And it is all because Jesus fought it and won it all by Himself… for us…

How could I still be concerned, afraid, anxious or worried? Because I’m imperfect and live in a broken world…but He has overcome it, and He is here, reminding me of it so I can take heart again.

Am I Going to be OK?

I recently finished working my way through Psalm 23rd where the focus is on the fact that The Lord is the most perfect Shepherd anyone, sheep or human or human sheep may ever want/need…that He is the Giver, Sustainer and Protector of my life… and yet… I still wonder if I am going to be OK? Why is that?

Why does it seem like I look for worst-case-scenarios even subconsciously just, so I could be immersed in anxiety?

Sigh…

I think I lack self-discipline. I think the Holy Spirit is working in me to grow the fruit of self-control, but I keep rejecting it. Without self-control, my mind just runs wildly through the open fields of insecurity, fear and lack of trust that lead me to a place of darkness and to a longer stay at the valley of the shadow of death, very far away from those green pastures and quiet waters of peace that He promises to all His sheep…but…I continue to refuse it.

Double sigh…

There is no wonder that Paul’s inspired words command us to:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12: 2

The renewing of our minds is key to finding Christ. The one who is able to reign in his/her thought life would be able to be free to seek God’s presence…the ultimate goal! The thing is that we can’t do this alone. It involves self-control, which is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5: 22-23) and it is the Holy Spirit who grows it, and all of them in us…through His work in our Soul and the surrendering of our will to the wisdom and power of His hands.

Little by little… step by step… one day at a time… for the rest of our lives we witness the Great Companion and Counselor, the Gardener of our souls, weed and prune until one day we get to enjoy the beauty that comes out of the mess that once was our life. I believe that this day might not come while on this side of eternity… However, I do believe that we get to see glimpses of what our life is meant to be as we walk through the valleys and mountains of this world. And that is what we hope for: that those glimpses are enough to get us going as they get longer and longer so our gaze can hold steady as our hearts stop racing and our pace slows down to allow us to perceive the pure joy of a true encounter with our Lord.

I’m not talking about mysticism, here. I’m talking about reaching a way of life in which our purpose is to truly seek Him first in everything we do, at work, at school, at home, changing diapers, making dinner, watching TV, going on a trip, struggling through homework, health issues, financial hardship, brokenness of all kind…a life that is above circumstance and that in every situation holds fast to the promise of His presence and to the promise of His strength through us and through our weakness. (2 Corinthians 12: 9, Philippians 4: 13)



In order to accomplish this, often, The Lord sends to us a person, a situation, a movie, a song, a piece of Scripture, a book that speak to us in a way that we can understand…in a way that helps us move closer to where He wants us to be…closer to learning how to live above our circumstances. Right now, one of my dear and very wise friends and sister in Christ recommended a book called You’re Going to Be Okay, by Holley Gerth, and let me tell you, that book is moving my soul. In the soft, gentle and often funny style of the writer, God is communicating truth to me in a way that I get. I think this book is a good tool for restless hearts like mine to find a moment of quietness near the green pastures and still waters that we so long to dwell by. Therefore, I think that I will start posting about things I read in this little book which touch me deeply and shake me to the core. If you’d like to join me in this journey, I pray it will be a blessing for you as well.

Breathe Again!

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever. Psalm 23: 6b

Do you remember playing with your friends to see who could hold their breath the longest when you were a child? What a silly competition. I still play it with my kids whenever we are in a swimming pool. We get in there, plug our noses, go down and wait until one of us…inevitably…as inconspicuously as possible, begins his/her trek back to the surface. The two of us that remain, watch expectantly, chlorine pocking needles into our eyes, for the moment when we can at least claim we were not the losers. Then, when we can’t hold it anymore, we burst out of the water with a loud splash as we let out the old air that had been getting stale into our lungs and gulp fresh, delicious, life-giving, oxygen-filled new air to be able to breathe again. Then, of course, the argument begins as to who lasted the longest…which is never defined unless we try again, and then again, and a few more times until we get bored….

Well, when I read the last verse of Psalm 23rd is like I’ve been holding my breath for a long time…watching expectantly…then… these words come to me, signaling the moment when my head finally bursts out of the water, allowing me to exhale the staleness and toxicity that had accumulated over the time I’ve kept it beneath the surface, to finally be able to take a deep, renewing, deliciously reviving gulp of fresh air.

I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever… aahhhhh….

The Spanish version that I remember translates “forever” as: “por años sin término.” I love that imagery… “for years without end…” And that’s why I feel renewed when I read the last words of this beloved Psalm… because the idea of spending years without end in the House of the Lord surely sounds magnificent! It sounds glorious, especially after spending what seemingly felt like years without end under water, unable to breathe in the joy of God’s presence to the fullest, unable to clearly see Him through my chlorine-blurred eyes…

Praise You, Lord, for this wonderful promise. Please allow us to find comfort in it until the day comes when we finally dwell in your house forever!