I was supposed to start taking an in-depth look at the metaphor of being a grasshopper, but I have become truly distracted by other things going on in my life. Therefore, I think I will take a detour here. Eventually, however, I will work my way back to the grasshopper…I know you are really anxious to hear about it…but, I honestly think my current frame of mind will take me back to the idea of feeling small…because, regardless of the perspective from which I get there, I often end up arriving at the topic of trust…or lack of thereof… and how that causes me a great deal of distress.
Yesterday, my mind circled around the idea of God’s timing. It is not the first time I wrestle with this concept. But yesterday, as I waited for test results, I really was led to pause and ponder on how different God’s timing is from ours.
As it happens, I was hoping to get my test results back the day before, but due to a series of events, which had to do with me not filling out and returning a form my doctor sent me back in May, they did not receive the results when they should have. So yesterday, after some maneuvering, they finally got them…but then, they informed me that the doctor was not going to be in the office until next Tuesday! So, I was left with having to continue to wait…augh…
Well…after I panicked for a few moments, I decided I was not going to let that bother me. I decided to trust. I was still nervous, but I was able to let go…even if only my kind of letting go, which means I had to continue to let go, over and over and over again. I repeated in my mind: “I trust You, Lord…I trust You…” like a chant… and I continued on doing my stuff. I didn’t become paralyzed with fear, like I often do. I was able to take my mind off of the worry and into productive things. Then, as I was getting ready to go for my evening walk with Dan…on a whim, I checked my e-mail…and guess what? The test results had been sent to me electronically! WOW! That had never happened…I don’t think? So, I took a deep breath…and clicked on the link to read that it was normal…
Then, I exhaled as I praised the Lord for His goodness, love and patience with me, a little grasshopper, trembling, trying to hold on to her faith as she trusts His perfect timing.
It never ceases me to amaze me how perfect, indeed, His timing is…and how different it is from mine, Praise the Lord!
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
Psalm 27: 14
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55: 8-9