If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1: 5-8
Well, another school year has begun. This past Monday Dan and I waved goodbye to our sons as they boarded bus #67 which carried them to the first day of fifth and first grades.
I stood at the end of the driveway and watched the bus disappear at the bend of the road. My heart sank. My sons are out of my hands.
Once again I was faced with reality. The illusion of control vanished. They don’t really belong to me. They are not really “in my hands.” I can’t really protect them all the time. I pondered these hard-to-swallow truths and I realized that even though I can’t keep them behind a protective glass, all wrapped in bubble wrap-even there they won’t be 100% safe as they’ll asphyxiate-there is something I can do to ensure they’ll be safe. I can release them to the Lord.
They belong to Him. He is the One who let me borrow them for a little while. He allowed me to have them for a season to love, care for and teach them about Him, so one day they would walk on their own and find their own faith. He is the One who loves them more than I ever could. And He knows their destiny because He tells us,
“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)”
Therefore, trusting that when God says “you” He means my sons, I release them. I release them into the loving hands of their Creator and trust in His perfect plan for them. I hesitate, for I have control issues and I struggle with letting go; but I’m resolved to release them, so I do. And as I take them back, I release them again, and again, and one more time. Every time I feel anxiety creep over me, I release them once again, casting my anxieties upon Him and praying for the Lord to increase my faith.
Being a Mother surely is not for the faint of heart. I thought I was tough, but I am weak. The good news is that we have a Strong Father, an Ever-Present Savior and the Spirit of Truth and Wisdom in us. We are victorious in our battles for He fights with us and often times for us. Therefore, I can say
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)My husband and I slowly walked back up the driveway trying to take our minds off of the boys by talking about the need to do some serious landscaping. We entered a really quiet house and silently acknowledged the inevitable passage of time. It’s time to trust.