The Things I Forgot...

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 19 

Lately, my routine has been a bit altered. Rather than jumping out of bed early in the morning and rushing around the house in a frantic effort to accomplish as much as possible in a day that always seems to slip away; now I am forced to begin my days at a much slower pace. Since my surgery, I’ve been waking up later than usual and by the time I get “going” with my “activities” the morning is almost over.

The first week after my surgery, my dear husband was home taking care of our sons and of everything, really, while I just enjoyed freedom to do as I pleased (mostly spend time at my computer with my feet up). Yesterday was the first day he went back to work and I found myself alone in the house with my boys. I have to say the night before I was dreading morning. I was very nervous thinking that I would not be able to do what I had to do by myself. “My sons are so clueless. They won’t be able to help me!” was my recurrent thought. “We’re not going to survive!” “What if something happens? I can’t drive!” “How are we going to make it?” Today, I feel ashamed.

I allowed my soul to become anxious and distraught. I let my heart wander away from faith. I took my eyes off of Christ. I forgot the formula to peace:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4: 6 

I forgot to pray. As I contemplated my days without my husband home to take care of things I fretted instead of consulting with my Lord. I didn’t ask Him, the sustainer and strength of my life, to guide me and make His presence known in me as I walk on the scary waters of getting back on my feet again.

I forgot to be thankful. My mind wandered to the myriad of things I am not able to do and I forgot to thank God for all the things I AM able to do. I concentrated on the “unfortunate event” of my husband having to return to work rather than appreciating the very rare fact that he was able to be home for a whole week! (let alone thanking God for the fact that he has a job to go back to!)

I forgot to breathe in the peace of His provision. I forgot that He is the God who can do the impossible. I forgot to present my requests. I forgot to trust Him.

As the day progressed, I moved around the house slowly and relied on my 10-year old son to do some laundry, water plants and lift heavy things for me. My 6-year old read a couple of stories on his own, got his own snacks while lovingly reminding me throughout the day, “Mama, remember what the doctor said, you can’t lift heavy things and can’t bend on your belly.” All these sprinkled with some TV watching, naps, and gentle hugs from my sweet boys.

At the end of the day I looked back and saw that it wasn’t as perfect as the days when Daddy was here taking care of things. We stayed in our PJs all day and ate bacon, tomatoes and cupcakes for lunch. But the Lord did provide everything we needed, including an extra portion of patience for me, and we survived. 

I’m sure the boys are glad Daddy is back, though; perhaps now they can have a decent meal for dinner. : )

Linking with Time-Warp Wife, Teaching what is Good, Lessons from Ivy, On Your Heart Tuesdays, Haven of Rest