It's in His Hands

“Mama, what’s divorce?” My almost-to-be-seven-year-old son Dylan asked me a couple of days ago as we were driving somewhere around. Before I could formulate any coherent thought in my head, my ten-year-old Grant responded in his characteristic professorial tone: “divorce is when the parents split up.”

Even without looking at his face I could sense Dylan’s puzzlement in the air. So I promptly added, “you know? Sometimes, unfortunately, parents don’t stay together and they do have to live in separate houses.” Grant must’ve also sensed his brother’s growing concern as he cheerfully added, “Don’t worry, Dylan, we don’t have to worry about that happening to us…”

I took a deep breath and swallowed hard to untangle the tight knot that had formed in my throat. Then I said, “well, with God’s help, Grant is right and we won’t have to worry about Daddy and I splitting up for as long as we live.”

I looked out the window at the familiar country scenery that surrounded us and prayed with all my heart that the Lord would, indeed, keep our family together “until death do us part.”

As Dan and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary yesterday, I continued to beg God to be with us in our marriage. Certainly 18 years ago I could not have anticipated the roller coaster that marriage was going to be like. The emotional intensity I’ve experienced these past almost two decades is yet to be surpassed by anything else other than itself. But I wouldn’t have it any other way – well, other than me having a completely different personality, as I’m sure Dan would appreciate a kinder, nicer, gentler wife. There’s still hope, though, as the Holy Spirit is not yet done with me : )

But anyway, my point is that God doesn’t make any mistakes. I don’t presume to understand everything about God. I am VERY far from beginning to comprehend the unsearchable ways of God for,

“Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!” Romans 11: 33

I believe that He is who the Bible says He is, though, and according to His Word, He is Faithful! “God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.” 1 Corinthians 1:9 And as a Faithful and Loving God, He knows what He is doing, how He is doing it, why He is doing it, and when He is doing it.

Even if our marriage, for some unforeseen reason, ends up in divorce one day, that will not surprise Him. He knew the fate of our marriage even before we began to think about the possibility of anything being wrong with it. He knows the choices we are going to make before we’ve thought about any one of them. His eyes saw our unformed body, says Psalm 139, and

“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139: 16

Nothing surprises Him about our bad choices, and even if our marriage does not have a fairy tale ending (whose does, anyway?) we continue to trust Him and to place all our endeavors in His Faithful Hands for He will lead us to the riches of His reward if we surrender to His irresistible grace.

We are His since before we were born! “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139: 13-14

“And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.” 1 Corinthians 2: 7

So as we place ourselves in His Hands, we trust.

I don’t know what the future holds for my marriage. I don’t know if my son’s words will remain true and they won’t indeed have to worry about his parents splitting up so they can grow up in a stable home, with one less thing to worry about in this dark world. But I have to trust Him. I have to believe that if we stay committed to Christ and to each other we will improve our chances.

Back in the car, I finally gathered my wits, stretched my neck, and stole a quick glance at my young son on the rear view mirror. He seemed satisfied with the answers and was back at playing with his toys. I turned to Grant and he was looking out the window deep in thought, as he often is. I wondered what he was thinking. It’s in God’s hands...I sighed silently, and kept on driving.

I'm linking with Soli Deo Gloria, Marital Oneness, Marriage Moment, Beauty in His Grip, On Your Heart Tuesday, Time Warp Wife