Tia Elvira

 Remember the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding?  I love that movie.  I identify with it quite a bit.  My Mother was one out of ten brothers and sisters.  And, since she remained in the town of her "family seat," nearby her parents and most of her brothers and sisters, I grew up surrounded by family, with more cousins I ever cared to count, and aunts and uncles who were part of my life...especially my aunts.  There were only 4 women among the 10 siblings. Only one did not live around. The other three, my Mom and her two sisters, were actually neighbors and absolute best friends.  

It was very common to see their cars coming up on our driveway for a pop visit at least once a day every day.  As a kid, I loved my aunts coming to visit because they will usually bring treats and often, they would take us kids for a ride around town, which usually ended with a stop at a favorite bakery.

My Mom also shared daily phone conversations with each of her sisters.  Yes, phone calls.  That was back in the day when the phone was ONLY used to make calls in which you would actually speak with the other person live.  We only had 2 phones in our house, but one was an extension.  This means, there was only 1 line...which meant that only 1 person could use the phone at a time. Once I saw my Mom sitting in the wicker chair that was next to the phone extension in her bedroom, I knew my call to my friends would have to wait a while. 

I loved to hear my Mother's laughter, and her daily conversations with her sisters would provoke a lot of it.  Those conversations were often very serious too.  I remember the months leading to the passing of my Grandma being filled with sadness.  The phone calls would not be joyful, but hushed and somber.  There was also the time when one of my aunts got sick.  Life was never the same after her passing.  There was only one sister left to share life with.  My Tia Elvira.  Boy, I love Tia Elvira.  

Life overflowing from her face, always smiling and ready to celebrate something.  She loved French perfumes, flowers, music, candy and gossip.  She was our family's...how shall I say it? Most important news broadcaster!  We had to be careful with what we told her.  The rule was, if we wanted the entire family to know something fast, we needed to tell Tia Elvira.  If we didn't want anyone to know anything...we knew to keep our mouths shut in front of her...you know...But she was terribly endearing.  

She never had kids of her own, so she lavished her attention on the nieces and nephews.  She was an iconic figure in our family.  There aren't many memories of me growing up that do not include her.  When my Mom got sick...she was devastated.  For the last 20 years since my Mom passed away, Tia Elvira was the presence of my Mom in my life.  Even her voice on the phone, the way she couldn't get herself to say goodbye just once, almost as if to remind me that goodbyes weren't ever final, reminded me of my Mom...but sometimes, goodbyes are final.  Today, thanks to the wonder of technology, we said our last goodbye to Tia Elvira on Zoom.  She was laid to rest in the family plot at our hometown's cemetery...with nobody around.  The darn Covid-19 virus turned, what otherwise would have been an overflowing church service, with standing-room only, and a mile-long funerary procession, into an empty church, with strangers carting her casket away in a hurry. 

That was so hard to watch.  I felt so helpless.  A woman who had showered me with so much love during my entire life...had to die and be buried alone...nothing I could do, but to order a flower arrangement and watch heart broken on a tiny computer screen.  

I know, however, that all the sadness the countless cousins and one remining brother who are still on this side of eternity feel today are nothing when compared to the joy Tia Elvira is experiencing in heaven right now, gathering together with her other 8 brothers and sisters and all the countless friends and loved ones whom, without a doubt, came out to escort her into the presence of Jesus, the One Who wipes away all the tears...

After the Zoom broadcasting of the funeral mass was over, it was my turn to chat with my sisters...we shared our memories of Tia Elvira.  We laughed, as there are plenty of memories of her filled with funny stories, we talked about how different life will be without her...and we went away to reflect on this moment.  This is my way of reflecting, I guess.  This is my own very small tribute to someone who was very special.  I praise the Lord my kids got to meet her.  Unlike my own Mom, they knew Tia Elvira, and were saddened at the news of her parting.  My heart was blessed when I saw Grant Dieter's name on one of the Zoom squares during the mass.  He was able to join from school.  I also saw my nephew, my sister's son...and so many of my cousins, along with the one remaining uncle...it was such a bittersweet moment...but I praise the Lord at least we had that moment.  

I know the next time I go to Panama, it will be so very different.  I cannot imagine being there without Tia Elvira...but I trust she is rejoicing and at peace...back to the daily chats, now with all of her sisters, knowing that they never have to be apart again...waiting for us kids to join them.  I hope they got treats and French Perfume in Heaven.  I know Tia Elvira's would be the best!

Steadfast

 In 2 Chronicles 25 we learn about Amaziah, King of Juda and how he'd rather follow false gods...gods of defeat, than the Only God worthy of all of our worship, the God of Victory!

He had just experienced first hand the reality of the Almighty God, as he saw with his own eyes how it was true what the prophet had told him:  “The Lord can give you much more than that,” (2 Chronicles 25: 9b) after crushing his enemies even when he was underhanded.  But, what does Amaziah do upon his return home?  He bows down to the gods of those he had just defeated.  He decides it is a good idea to worship the false gods of those he had just slaughtered.  Does that make any sense?

Of course not.  But...don't I do that from time to time myself too?

Have you ever, after participating in a great victory, clearly delivered to you directly by the Lord, succumbed to the false gods of defeat, fear, doubt, panic, impatience, disillusionment, despair, lack of self-control...and so on?  I have.  At the slightest shift in my circumstances, at the first sign of detour, at the first smell of trouble...I crumble.  I become frightened.  My faithfulness shakes.  I lose my peace.  Isn't that sort of the same as what King Amaziah did?

Isaiah 26: 3 is a most beautiful verse, that brings me comfort when I think of my unfaithfulness to Our Heavenly Father,

You will keep in perfect peace

those whose minds are steadfast,

because they trust in you.

"Perfect peace" ... what a wonderful promise.  How I long for a life in perfect peace.  But a mind that is steadfast, loyal, faithful, committed, devoted, dedicated is so very difficult to attain.  However, it is not of our own doing, but the Lord's...because the reason the mind can remain steadfast is because of Him...our job is just to trust.  We trust that God's own Faithfulness will cover us and transform our unfaithfulness with His Grace.  We know in our hearts that we cannot accomplish this on our own.  Therefore, we trust the One who can do it for us.

May our un faithfulness be dissolved as we remain trustingly in His Presence, by the Power of the One who is Faithful, Merciful and All-Loving.  In the Precious Name of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen!

Restoration through Conviction

 I don't believe inflicting an intense sense of guilt is the Lord's MO.  I think that's mostly a tool of the enemy.  However, I do know that the Holy Spirit convicts us.  What's the difference?  Well, I think, guilt is a feeling that debilitates and that causes us to hide in shame.  I think of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and how they hid from God because they felt ashamed and weak.  They did not want to be with God.  That's why I am convinced that guilt is a tool of the enemy.  He knows that when we feel guilty we run away.  We don't feel worthy of being in the presence of the Most Holy Lord, so we put distance between us.  And, one of the enemy's main purpose is to separate us from God.

God would not use something that drives us away.  It is completely counter productive and against all that He is all about, which is drawing us nearer and nearer to Him, in fellowship.

So, does that mean He just lets us get away with everything?  Well...of course not.  We know that.

I believe Our Heavenly Father uses other ways to make us pause and consider our ways.  He uses methods that will cause us to realize the wrong we have done, and move us towards repentance.  A repentant heart is one that seeks the Lord with all its might, because it is a heart that knows that we are children of a God of compassion, and that, even though He is Just, He is also Merciful, and He wants to restore fellowship...not drive us away.

What tool does God use in order to accomplish this goal, then?

I believe that God, in the Person of the Holy Spirit uses the tool of conviction to make it clear to us that we are on the wrong path.  I read that "to convict in Greek is translated as elencho which means, to convince someone of the truth; to reprove, accuse. So we see that conviction brings out the truth as it accuses us of our wrongs and rebukes us of our sins." (Biblereasons.com) 

Guilt, on the other hand, distorts the perception of reality.  Remember Adam and Eve?  The truth was that they had perfect and beautiful bodies, made in the image of The Maker. But, the guilt of their disobedience made them see themselves as naked, which they interpreted as something bad.  Then, what was meant to be the crown jewel of God's craftmanship, ended up being a source of shame that needed to be covered.  

Guilt also brings up the "blame-game."  Notice how in Genesis 3: 12-13 both Adam and Eve resorted to blaming someone else for their wrongdoing.  Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent.  Neither of them accepted that they had sinned, confessed it or showed any recorded sign of repentance in that scene.  

I don't know if it has happened to you, but, if I'm honest with myself, when I feel guilty, my first instinct is to shift the blame onto someone else. I want to try to clear my "good name" first.  Admittance of my own responsibility on the matter and repentance are not my first, or second moves.  I try other things first to see if I can steer clear from looking like the guilty party.  If God seeks restoration, which comes about through repentance, why would He use guilt, which typically moves us to a defensive position, not to a surrendered attitude?

That's why I believe that the Holy Spirit uses the tools of conviction to uncover the truth, so Truth can do His work...for as we know, only Truth can set us free. (John 8: 32)

The Holy Spirit works in our conscience and moves us to see our sin, and our responsibility in it, as He shows us God's righteousness and the hope of redemption and forgiveness that God offers in the Person of Jesus Christ.  And a desire to be right with God and live honorably by Him emerges, and gives us peace and strength to do our part in the process of restoration, which is repentance. 

Conviction offers us the promise of restoration.

Guilt crushes us and separates us from the Way, the Truth and the Life. 

May the Holy Spirit show us the path to true repentance so we can witness and experience how He is Faithful and Compassionate to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:8-10)  In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!

 

He Makes my Feet like the Feet of a Deer

 A few days ago, someone very, very, very dear to me asked me for prayers.  Her request was very specific.  She wants me to pray for God to make her path clear.  As she is facing a crossroads, she wants God to make it "really obvious" to her, what decision she should make.

Don't you love that prayer?  "Lord, make it obvious to me what I should do!"  I told her I would have to adopt this petition for my own life as well.  It's the equivalent of "Please, give me a sign!"  A 'road sign' with a big arrow pointing and saying "go this way."  Wouldn't that be nice?

Life could be so confusing.  So often I feel as if I've totally made the wrong turn, and I find myself blindly walking on a dark path. I can't see where my next step will take me.  I'm hesitant.  I'm unsure about my footing.  I'm afraid I'm going to slip.  I feel heavy.  As the road bends and becomes steep, I'm out of breath. I wobble. I limp.  I trip. I stumble.  Then, after a long while trekking in the fog, it's like, I finally see it.  I see the road I should take...it is obvious...but, I'm so tired and beaten, I have no idea how I am supposed to go that way.  I can't do it.  I don't have what it takes to follow it...

Those are the times when Psalm 18: 33 makes a lot of sense:

He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights.

Growing up in Panama, I never got to see deer prancing around, ever! Over here, it's like I live among them, right?  And their agility and grace never cease to amaze me.  They run so fast, go up on hills, among bushes and trees, unfaced by the obstacles, trotting along, unimpeded. It's fascinating.  And God did that.  He designed their legs and feet in such a way so that they can move like that.  "He causes them to stand on the heights," indeed...where they can see and know.

The road becomes obvious when we stand on the heights, because from up there, we can see the big picture, and have more certainty of the way we should go.  And the Only One who can cause us to stand on the heights, is the One who can make our feet like the feet of a deer, even when we feel like we have the feet of a penguin.  

As we trust Him with our every step...as we traverse through thick fog, forest, darkness, sunshine, valleys, hills, mountains, meadows or plains...let us remember that He goes before us, and that He transforms us from wobbling to trotting, right when we need it, so we can follow Him unhindered.  In the Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the One who causes us to stand on the heights and gives us what we need to follow Him.  Amen!

The Lord of My Time

 I can't believe this is the last week of January already.  Time feels so fleeting lately.  Even though I'm still working from home, and not going almost anywhere...I don't seem to have enough hours in the day to finish up all the stuff in my "to do" list...or  to-do "notebook," rather.  Once I started working from home I decided I needed an entire notebook dedicated to my "list" because I was beginning to drown in little pieces of scrap paper with all my tasks scribbled on them, posted all over my working space.

At any rate, my point is, I am as busy or busier now, than I was before the pandemic even though I don't go anywhere!  How is that possible?

I don't know...

The thing is, work never goes away now.  

Before, I would be able to leave the bulk of the work behind at the office.  Now, work is with me all the time.  It's crazy!  I even have my phone hooked to my car so I can answer it when I'm driving if my boss calls...

Time is our most valuable possession ...and so often I feel as if I keep wasting it on things that are of little to none eternal value.  It makes me really sad.

Today, I read in my devotional a statement that made me pause:  "Bring me the sacrifice of your time." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

Yes, the Lord knows how time is the most valuable thing we have to offer to Him...and how many times I refuse to give it to Him.  Instead of prioritizing Him in my schedule, I keep pushing Him aside to my "spare time."  HA!  You know what that means, right?  And without me noticing, my agenda is so full, that...

I can't let that happen.  If I claim a surrendered life, I must live a surrendered life.

If I proclaim the need to seek Him first...I must seek Him first, indeed!

Sigh...

Lord, I pray that you may help me live a life surrendered to You, and that I may make You my first priority.  I don't want to continue to waste my most precious gift on the things of this world.  I want to offer it to You, as my sacrifice for Your compassion, holiness and forgiveness.  May Jesus be the Lord of my Time.  In the Precious Name of Our Savior and Light, Jesus Christ.  Amen.

What Are the Odds?

“There is still one prophet through whom we can inquire of the Lord, but I hate him because he never prophesies anything good about me, but always bad. He is Micaiah son of Imlah.” 2 Chronicles 18: 7

This Bible verse struck me today...

Actually, I found it kind of funny.  I'm reading it again, and I can't help but chuckle a bit. I chuckle because it reminds me of myself.

It's not so much that I don't want to talk to certain people because they would say something bad about me...I don't want to talk to them because I know they would tell me the truth, and nothing but the truth.  And, to tell you the truth...I often don't want to hear it.

I know what they're going to say.  And I know it is NOT what I want to hear.  So, what do I do?  I avoid seeking their counsel all together.

Like Ahab, the King of Israel, who did not want to inquiry of the Lord through the words of the prophet Micaiah because he knew he would say something bad.  He'd rather follow the lies of the 400 false prophets whom he knew would tell him what he wanted to hear, than to listen to the only one telling him the truth, even if his life depended on it.  Ahab thought he knew better, and that he could out-maneuver and manipulate God's plan for him.  He surrounded himself with people who told him what he wanted to hear, and ignored the truth.

"Go for it!  You'll have victory.  You'll get all you want.  It's not wrong.  It's OK for you to follow on that path.  What cliff?  You'll be fine..."  

It's true that other people, those whom we trust are not the Holy Spirit.  But, if we surround ourselves with followers of Christ, the Holy Spirit lives in them, and often, it is Him speaking through them directly to us.  God can use anyone to send us messages.  But, I believe, that He especially uses His children to speak on His behalf to those who might be confusing their way.  Therefore, it is very important that we have brothers and sisters in Christ in our lives who would speak truth to us in our hour of confusion.  And more importantly, that we don't hesitate to pray the Holy Spirit enables us to seek such counsel when the moment calls for it.  

It is hard to hear the truth, sometimes.  It is hard to discern what the truth really is. It is difficult to stick with the truth, when there is a whole entire society telling us that there is no truth. Our path becomes very rough and lonely when there is a consensus trying to impose their will and their truth in us. It's tough when the odds are against us.  But, our very lives, our very souls, might be in danger if we keep listening to the lies instead, just because they are easier to digest...easier to go along with...easier to implement.

The odds were 400 to 1.  It seemed like a sure thing.  It would have been stupid to listen to the only one who was against the predictions of such a high consensus.  So, King Ahab ended up listening to the 400 right into his death...as prophesized by the only one voicing the word of the Lord.  I pray The Holy Spirit guides us not to make such a costly mistake.  In the precious name of Our Lord and Leader, Jesus the Christ.  Amen!

I Surrender All

I Surrender All

(Words written by American art teacher and musician Judson W. Van DeVenter (1855–1939), who subsequently became a music minister and evangelist. It was put to music by Winfield S. Weeden (1847–1908), and published in 1896.)

All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live

All to Jesus I surrender
Humbly at His feet I bow
Worldly pleasures all forsaken
Take me, Jesus, take me now

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Thee my blessed Savior
I surrender all

All to Jesus I surrender
Make me Savior wholly thine
May Thy Holy Spirit fill me
May I know Thy power divine

This wonderful Hymn came to my mind today as I think of the way our world is spinning, seemingly out of control.  

The funny thing is, the world is NOT spinning out of control, because it is not in OUR control.  The world is under the control of the One Who Created it.  And He NEVER loses control.  He is always on His throne regardless of how chaotic things may seem.  But, often, we want to keep a tight grip on things, and that's when the illusion fades...because the tight grip we think we have, isn't real.

Our job is to surrender...to surrender it ALL to Him...freely...trusting in His love and seeing His Hand on everything with the eyes of our faith.

Today's devotional reading reminded me of this,

"I want you to be all mine.  I am weaning you from other dependencies.  Your security rests in Me alone-not in other people, not in circumstances. Depending only on Me may feel like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath:  the everlasting arms.  So don't be afraid of falling.  Instead, look ahead to Me.  I am always before you, beckoning you on-one step at a time.  Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate you from My loving presence." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

No matter what challenges the world, our nation, our neighborhood, our family, our life are presenting to us...we don't need to worry.  He is working in us so we can fully understand the truth that our dependence is on Him and Him Alone.  But, one first step to achieve this understanding is the step of surrendering it ALL to Jesus, Our Sustainer, Our Deliverer, Our Savior, Our Lord. May we be able to sing this song with an honest heart and soul.  In His Precious Name we pray, Amen!

Trusting

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chronicles 16: 9a

Do we see because we trust? or do we trust because we see?  

Do we believe because we see? or do we see because we believe? or do we believe and trust even if we do not see?

I know...sigh...

Jesus said to Thomas, 

Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20: 29

There isn't much left to say, is it?  I know that trust in the Lord must come even in the blinding darkness and in the thick fog of doubt.  Regardless of what the world may want to impose as truth and reality, we are called to see with the eyes of faith, which is,  confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11: 1

But, O the evidence the world presents can be so compelling at times.  For eyes that are trained to see only the material and the concrete, it is so very difficult to see the things of the spirit.  Only through faith we can do that.  

In our time of intense waiting, trusting the Lord without seeing the results we expect and desire is very hard, indeed.  But, I believe, that is precisely why we must go through such a period of intense waiting:  to develop that kind of trust.  When we are at the bottom of the pit, unable to rely on anything or anyone else than Christ for our deliverance...that's where He meets us.  When we are in that doctor's wait room, anxiously reviewing all the things that can go wrong...that's where He reveals Himself to us.  When we are moments from that fateful phone call...that's when He knocks at the door of our hearts, so we can answer Him and let Him in.  When we are waiting to hear from the world...that's when He speaks.  When we have our hope on others...that's when He shows us that He is our only source of Hope.

King Asa, a King of Judah who had demonstrated how depending on God was the only way to be, decided to rely on others rather than on the Almighty towards the end of his life.  When God called him on that through Hanani the seer, King Asa rejected the reprimand, got angry and put Hanani in jail.  And what is worse, he never seemed to inquiry of the Lord again. Perhaps, he became too proud of what he viewed as his own achievements, and forgot that all glory is the Lord's.  Even when he was afflicted with disease at the end of his days he refused to rely on God...and the cure never came...regardless of how the best doctors of his day tried to tend to him.  He definitely forgot that The Most High strengthens those who are fully committed to Him.

I think this is a good lesson to keep in mind in our time of waiting...our waiting must be in the Lord, always remembering that His eye is on us, as we remain in Him...whether things are going our way or not.  Our reliance and dependence is on Him Who Is Faithful!

So, next time we are waiting, let's remember that it is in that period where He meets us and shows us that He is the Only One who can extend redemption, absolution, deliverance, hope and peace.  In the Precious Name of Jesus, Our Lord, the Prince of Peace, in whom we take refuge, and in whom we trust always, and especially while we wait.  Amen! 

Seeing

The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you. For a long time Israel was without the true God, without a priest to teach and without the law. But in their distress they turned to the Lord, the God of Israel, and sought him, and he was found by them. 2 Chronicles 15: 2-4

This morning, my Bible reading brought me to the passage above, in 2 Chronicles chapter 15, which starts telling us how, The Spirit of God came on Azariah son of Oded. He went out to meet Asa and said to him, verses 1-2a.  God revealed His Word to Azariah so he could deliver the message to the current King of Judah, Asa.  Long gone were the days of King David, the man after God's own heart.  Israel was no longer unified.  Brothers were fighting against brothers and the House of God was broken.  The new kings were seeking the divine among the pagan, and many had walked away from The Lord's path.  Praise the Lord, however, we have a God of Compassion and of second chances.  

We have been talking about periods of waiting and how stressful it is to sit still and wait.  Anxiety and fear creep over us and we lose our minds when we wait...especially if we don't approach waiting with an attitude of stillness that allows us to listen, and with a desire to seek the Lord, so we can find Him.  Today, we see that confirmed in His Word.  In our distress, we must "turn to the Lord," Our God, and seek Him with all we've got...and we will see how we find Him in all His splendor!

When we quiet our minds long enough to listen to His voice, and when we seek Him with our heart and soul, we will see that The Lord is GOOD! And that blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him. (Psalm 34:8)

We might not see our circumstances changing or being resolved the way we expect it or want it.  We may not see our problems dissolve and disappear.  Our anxiety and stress may still remain.  Our fear may not completely go away.  But, we will see that Our God is Good! With thanksgiving, in spite of our situation, we will see that The Lord is Good, and that His Love endures forever.  Therefore, we trust.

May the Holy Spirit reveal to us, like He did to Azariah, the fact that when we seek Him with all our hearts and souls, we will find Him and see Him by our side, fighting our battles, and taking us to victory.  May our spirit trust His Word and may His strength keep us in the game.  In the Precious Name of Jesus, The One Who Sees Us...and the One we seek to see.  Amen!

Listening

 Have you ever been in a classroom full of energetic, early elementary school age children?  Mercy...I have...not often, but enough times to know that it is hard to get them to listen, to pay attention, to be still enough so they can hear what I have to say.  It is hard for them to be quiet, and because of that, they sometimes miss the fun, the real fun.  They miss the treats that come from managing their...laboriousness.  Well, they're kids, right?  Kids are supposed to be hectic and restless.  They haven't learned how to quiet themselves yet...and now that I think about it...neither have I.

Continuing with my brief meditations on the things we could do while waiting, I said we were going to look at "seeing" as the next one, but actually, the next thing we should do while we wait is to listen.  We seek, and we pray, and we pray and we seek in our attempt at figuring things out, and at getting closer to the One we are looking for.  We are restless and panicky in our efforts to seek and trying to find.  But then, it comes a time when we just have to be quiet...we just have to be still...and let Him do the doing...let Him do the talking.  It comes a time while we are in our periods of intense waiting when we just have to listen.

O, but it is so hard, isn't it?  Especially when the listening not necessarily happens with the ears alone. Listening to the whisperings of the Holy One involves our full self.  It involves a state of stillness of the mind, of the body, of the spirit, that is very difficult to achieve.  

The Lord Himself says to us in Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God.

Jesus tells us, in John 10: 27-28

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

And in Revelations 3: 20, He proclaims:

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

Great things come from listening: knowledge, eternal life, fellowship with Christ.  But the act of listening, while an action, requires stillness.  And maybe it is just me, I don't know, but I find it so very difficult to be still. That's where my impatience robs me of the great rewards that come from listening.  I don't want to miss the treats that come from managing my laboriousness and turning it down enough to be quiet, to be still.  Perhaps, as I am in the stage of seeking, my prayer should be that I can be still enough to hear His voice, so I can open the door, follow Him and allow Him to be God in my life and in my circumstances.

When the teacher manages the classroom full of elementary school age children in a way that they are able to listen, there is immense joy in the heart and soul of that teacher, because they get to see the miracle of learning happening right in front of their eyes. After all, as teachers, that is what we live for, isn't it? I wonder if that is a semblance of the joy of the Lord when we finally are still and know...

May we seek the joy of the Lord, for it is our strength...may we seek to be quiet and listen to His voice while we wait.  Amen.

Seeking

 To seek...what a great, little word.  I love the way it sounds, short, strong, but, at the same time, the beginning "s" followed by the double vowel is a letter combo that gives it a special softness to the ear...yeah...I like words.  I've always been sort of a nerd.  I also like seeking, bargains mostly, but information too...as in research...again, nerd, right?  And as I researched a bit about the definition of the verb "to seek" I came across one that made me pause:  To seek:  an attempt to find something.  

How curious...the action of "seeking" implies the action of "attempting" not of "finding."  The emphasis is on the attempt.  Finding is only a possible result, not guaranteed.  Except when it is part of a promise of God in the Flesh, Himself:  

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.  Matthew 7:7

These are the words, the promises of Jesus as part of the greatest teaching moments in His ministry here on earth, The Sermon on the Mount.  The command to seeking also came as part of this divine encounter with Jesus at the Mount, when He told us, a bit earlier, not to worry about the things of this world, to stop chasing after them,

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:33-32

And here lies the answer as to why we must seek Him first, today, now, as we wait: because tomorrow doesn't matter.  He takes care of tomorrow.  Tomorrow does not belong to us.  The future is not part of the promise other than the fact that if we get there, there will still be problems.  Our job is to get a grip of today, of our now and in this moment, to seek Him first.  The rest will come as He has planned it.  

Therefore, as we enter a period of waiting...o, the disagreeable time of waiting...let's make it into a time of seeking.  Let's make it into an attempt to find Him, His Kingdom and His Righteousness right here were we are, right in the middle of our circumstances...let's let go of the rest, because the rest is it up to Him.  Let's seek, and then let's see.  But, that's the next step.  We'll get to it another day.  In the meantime, we continue actively waiting in Him as we Seek Him first aided by the inspiration, comfort, strength and guidance of Our Ever-Present Helper, the Holy Spirit.  In His Hands we wait and we seek.  Amen!

Exploring the Productive Potential of Waiting

"You and Dylan are such a volatile combination:  you don't have any patience and he requires boat-loads of it...not a good thing, Mom."  This was a statement of fact gently delivered to me yesterday by my older son as he witnessed, yet another scene between his brother and me in which I played the part of the Mommy Hulk...sigh... I know...I have mentioned this before: I am a very impatient person.  I also despise waiting.  Of course I do, they go hand in hand.  One is basically the result of the other. Sigh...

I know, gentleness is not one of my qualities either.  I wonder if that's where Grant got his bluntness from?  But again, the Lord has been teaching me over the last...many...many...many years, the valuable lessons of waiting patiently in Him.  I have learned a lot.  But, I still have a long, long, long way to go.

This morning, however, I woke up thinking about a person I sort of know who is going through a very scary situation that involves a very tense waiting period filled with anxiety and fear.  What makes it scarier, in my opinion, is the fact that she does not know God.  She professes her disbelief.  On the same token, she has also disclosed her fear of dying.  I don't know this woman very well at all.  I don't really have any relationship with her myself.  But she is very dear to someone who is one of my dearest persons in the whole-wide-world...so, as my dearest person is going through great distress due to this situation, I'm feeling the sting of her pain in my heart as well.

I want to help...but I have no idea how.  But, I sure can't get this whole thing out of my mind, either.  This is why I decided to write about it a bit...to try to process what I see and feel through this experience.  And what I am seeing and feeling this morning is that this is another opportunity to meditate on the action of waiting upon the Lord.

As I'm able to detach from the situation a bit, I have been thinking that one of the reasons I don't like waiting is because waiting feels too much like doing nothing.  It's like I'm helpless...at the mercy of others who may or may not have my best interest in their minds.  I hate sitting there...waiting...I need to feel like I'm doing something to make the situation better...to improve things...to change the outcome...to manipulate things so everything goes my way...waiting is just so...unproductive...sigh...

Waiting, however, if done right, could actually be a very productive time.  I just have to be smart about it...in a surrendered way, of course.

Looking back at my intense periods of waiting, I realize that those have been the most fulfilling times of my life.  Those have been the moments when God has revealed to me in the most amazing of ways.  It has been while I wait, that I have felt the closest to My Lord.  And the reason this has happened and continues to happens is because waiting is a time to seek, to listen, to trust and to see...and we do all that under the umbrella of thanksgiving.

For now, I'm going to leave it here.  But, I would like to explore each of these concepts one by one in the next few days...so I can fill this period of waiting experiencing the richness of the presence of the Holy Spirit, Our Guide and Our Ever-Present Comforter and Companion.  May the Light of His Face shine upon us as we walk on the complicated paths of waiting in Him.  And, I don't know...maybe, someday, Grant would be able to see the fruit of patience fully grown in the heart of his crazy Mom.  Amen!

People of Hope

 "We are people of HOPE not of despair."  This was the strong message presented by our Pastor yesterday at church.  "Despair is not from the Lord," he added.  The words convicted me.  How often have I fallen into despair? I am a glass half-empty kind of person.  I admit it...I can't deny it.  When the going gets rough, I shake in my boots.  I panic.  I turn my eyes to the storm and all I can see are the waves.  All I can feel are the winds.  My circumstances take over and I easily fall into despair.

My devotional reading this morning wrapped it up with the question:  "What can you do today to "look up" above your circumstances and see God?"  The question is inspired by the opening verses of Psalm 121:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121: 1-2

I believe these verses contain the answer to the question of how we walk on this Earth and through the circumstances of our lives and surroundings as people of Hope.  The answer is to remember to whom we belong, and who is in charge.  The answer is to remember that the answers are not here.  The answer is to remember that we need to look UP for the answers, for the battles we wage are not of this realm.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6: 12) Therefore, they must be fought up there, with the weapons of the spirit.

Then...what can I do to look up?  Well, just that: look up and pray that the Maker of Heaven and Earth and of the entire universe empowers me with the armor of God and that I may have the willingness to wear it daily in practical ways.  I look up with my belt of truth buckled around my waist so I recognize the lies of the enemy and keep my Hope on the Truth!  I look up with my breastplate of righteousness in place so my soul and my heart are protected from the evil and decay of this world.  I look up with my feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace so I can run to The Word anytime I feel attacked and find the Peace of the Truth in Scripture.  I look up by taking up the shield of faith, with which I can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one; and hold it in front of me instead of poisoning myself with the lies the world wants to feed me...so my eyes are not distracted and tempted to look at the deception handed out to me, and I continue to look up.  I continue to look up with my helmet of Salvation protecting my mind, and the sword of the Word of God as my weapon of choice.

In other words, I look up by being proactive and deciding to look up.  I look up by rejecting what the world has to offer and by seeking to be a person of Hope, instead... guarded by the Holy Spirit and His Armor, and trusting that this world and all that is in it is The Lord's.  I look up realizing that my help and my hope come from Him.

May our days be filled with the kind of Hope that helps us to look up, for our help is not from this world, but from above.  It comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.  Amen!

Willing to Fight

 I woke up today feeling like I'm in a TobyMac video...one for his song The Elements...sigh...

Looking at the current state of our beloved nation brings worry, fear and hopelessness to many.  It is easy to feel disheartened.  Confusion is in the air.  The future seems bleak.  It is easy to feel as if we are totally exposed to the elements...naked...enduring these elements that threaten to destroy everything that we are...everything we believe in...distorting the truth...crushing our faith.  How do we protect ourselves and our loved ones from what we sense is coming?

We know how: we must cling to Our God tighter than ever before.

Unlike the Israelites from old, whom after King David, kept going through a succession of kings that pushed them farther and farther and farther away from The Lord, we must walk closer and closer and closer still to Him, Who is Our Only Hope.  Hope in He Who IS Hope will never disappoint...will never leave us wanting.  Like my devotional reading says:  "Hope is like a golden cord connecting you to heaven." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)  In our weakness and despair, that golden cord needs to become thicker and ever stronger, for we are not of this world; therefore, we cannot allow this world to swallow us up.

Today we don't lose hope.  Today, we fight the elements as warriors in the Lord's Army...the one that has already achieved Victory!  And like the song says: 

"Stand up and rise to these elements. I'm willing to fight, willing to fight" willing to fight as long as it is by Your side, Lord.  Allow me to remain on Your side.  Give Your children open eyes to see what we are up against, and give us what we need to fight it with You covering all our flanks.  You go before me...let me be in your army.  I'm willing to fight!  In the Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ Our Only King.  Amen!

Even a most familiar path looks strange in the dark

 Isn't it scary how even a most familiar path looks strange and difficult to navigate in the dark?  That realization came to me yesterday, as I held a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel of my car while on a road I've driven on over a thousand times.  Tense shoulders, slower than usual speed and intense prayer came about on this supposedly familiar road, all because it was pitch dark.  

I felt lost.  Every curve was a surprise.  I had to pull over a couple of times to let impatient drivers pass me by.  I avoid driving at night...but this was morning...I just didn't remember how dark mornings are in the winter time.  I hated that drive.  My nervousness was intensified, I believe, because of my destination: the hospital's lab.  It was time for my thyroid checkup and that is a great source of stress in my life.

Sigh...

I'm happy to report that I made it safely.  But, as I sat in the waiting room at the hospital, waiting for my name to be called, I thought of the drive...and how that must be what it may feel like to "drive" through life without the guidance of the Light of God shining on our path...without Jesus...without the Bible.  I remembered the words of our Pastor last Sunday talking about how Scripture Alone is one of the pillars of our faith, perhaps the most important one, because it is precisely in Scripture where we meet God, where we see the Light...where we find Our Lord...Who is The Word Himself.  Without the guidance of the Bible, we are totally driving blindly...and added to that, there's the uncertainty of our destination without Scripture...sigh...  That would most definitely make one feel totally lost.

After my tests were done, I walked out of the hospital and daylight had come.  It kind of surprised me.  All I remembered was the darkness and I had forgotten it was actually morning.  I got in my car and drove the old-familiar road again.  And, what a difference light made!  I rode on that street like I owned it.  I zigged and zagged fearlessly and full of confidence...all due to the presence of the light.

I still would not know all the curves, potholes, detours and blocked lanes I will encounter along the pathway of my life, but I know, that as long as I have His Presence and His Light with me...as long as I continue my journey in the Word, I will be OK...and I won't be lost.

Life-Lessons from the Bank's Drive Through

 A few days ago, I was mean to a bank teller.  But, it was because...you know what?  There is no excuse.  I can't try to justify ever being mean to others.  That poor young woman was just doing her job, and because of my pride, I reacted in a way that was very shameful.  

I immediately felt bad, but my pride, again, got on the way and I just drove away, without uttering any apologies.  

That incident has been in my mind ever since.  I have been trying to come to terms with it...but I have not been able to.  Perhaps, I should not process it...as it would be helpful for me to keep it fresh in my heart forever so I never do that again.  However, I usually need to express my feelings one way or the other in order to learn from my experiences.  I don't really want to justify my actions.  I just want to verbalize the event so I understand what's going on in my brain.

Today, as I was doing some errands, I heard a song on the radio that I had not yet heard.  It's called "A Little Less Like Me" by Zach Williams.  From the moment the DJ announced the song's title, something clicked inside of me.  I knew that was a song I needed to hear.  The chorus says it all:

A little more like mercy' a little more like grace
A little more like kindness' goodness, love, and faith
A little more like patience' a little more like peace
A little more like Jesus, a little less like me.

I don't know what to say.  I read the words and I want to cry.  It is exactly how I feel.  This is exactly what I have been wanting to say since that day.  I have felt horrible.  I have felt like a failure.  But I know I can't dwell on the guilt.  So, what I need to do is to notice.  I have to think back...and reflect on that moment by asking myself this question:  Would the lesson have been clear if I had not made the mistake?  Being prideful and unkind are a couple of my biggest struggles.  This is a lesson I MUST learn.  The Holy Spirit has been hard at work in me forever to get me to the other side of these strongholds of sin.  Would I be meditating on any of this, had I not fallen that day?  Had the truth of me needing to be more like Jesus and less like me been so loud and clear?

I'd like to think, yes!  But, like I tell my students all the time, if we don't make mistakes, we don't learn.

You know how we are supposed to give thanks for everything and in any situation?  I am grateful that the Holy Spirit has shown great mercy to me, by allowing me to learn from my mistake.  I am grateful that I have been reminded of my need to display the fruits of the Spirit.  I am grateful that I have been shown, in a way that is vivid and real, that I must become more like Jesus, and leave my old ways behind.  I am grateful that My Redeemer Lives, and that once again, He has been Faithful to me.

Let's now hope that next time I'm at my bank's drive through I keep all these lessons in mind.  Maybe, in God's mercy, He'll arrange it so Zach Williams' song would be playing on the radio that day too.

Happy 2021

 It is the first day of the year 2021.  This is the first day in a year that the whole world has been waiting for.  As we receive this new year, I'm not really making resolutions.  I'm trying to decide on a guiding principle, instead.  I believe, my guiding principle for 2021 is the idea of how waiting is an act of hope.

As I sit here, contemplating what's to come...still waiting for things to change...I want to really, truly, be aware of the hope that springs and blooms while I wait.  I want to give myself fully, "to the adventure of increasing attentiveness" to the Presence of Jesus in my life.  This is what my devotional reading for this morning invited me to do...and a period of waiting is exactly the moment to resolve to do just that.

 Just like us, many of those involved in the birth of Jesus went through periods of intense waiting… but with a good measure of hope. Zechariah and Elizabeth faced their own struggles with doubt as they waited, but they were finally able to rejoice in the hope of a son, John, and the clear evidence of their Heavenly Father’s love and faithfulness. Mary accepted her predicament with humility, and hope flourished in her heart with each flutter in her womb. Joseph hesitatingly accepted his lot, but God instilled a hopeful vision in him as he ushered the Light into the world. The shepherds faithfully keeping watch were resigned to being society’s outcasts, until the night their faith was rewarded, and they saw living Hope in a holy baby boy.

 Today, as we wait for things to get back to “normal,” we should remember that Hope is a person, and He never disappoints. He, who is hope Himself, will lead us to hope, even if in the most unlikely places. For as long as we have life, His breath will remain in us. (Job 27:3) And so we have Hope, no matter what comes to pass.  Let's, then, renew our attentiveness...like the Maggi, let's seek Him, the Bright and Morning Star.  Let's be aware of His Presence as we journey to Him, Our Deliverer, Our Lord...Our Friend.

 Have a Blessed and Healthy 2021!