In relationships...any type, I believe...there's often a more logical thinker, a realist...and then, there's the free-spirit, carefree one. Of course these personality types are not rigid. The logical thinker might have moments of spontaneity that cause great surprise to those around them...and the free spirit might have instances of pause and consideration before embarking on the next grand adventure.
In our marriage, for sure, Dan is the logical thinker. My cute little, term of endearment for him is "the dream-crusher, naysayer." He really loves that nickname...lol...and he has certainly earned it: "No, we cannot sell everything and go live in an RV." "No, we cannot empty our retirement fund and buy a beach condo in Florida." "No, we cannot quit our jobs and just go travel the world." "No, we cannot become modern nomads." I mean, c'mon!!! We don't need such negativity in life, am I right or what? LOL.
When it comes to my own little quirks, though I'm definitely the more free-spirited one of our duet...I can be weird and uptight too sometimes. Like, my thing is that I have to know. You know what I mean? In some circumstances, I just need to know. When I'm streaming a movie and I cannot predict the ending, I have to know...so I fast forward to the end to find out. A couple of days ago I was watching a 16-episode series and by episode 12 I was just so frustrated because I could not figure out the outcome, that yes, I jumped to episode 16 and got it over with. I could not sit through 4 more episodes of not knowing. The problem is when Dan and I are watching something together. I drive him crazy begging him to fast forward because I just can't take the tension of not knowing. I have to confess, not too long ago, we were watching a series together and he had to go pick up Dylan from practice, and I skipped to the end and the rewound it and pretended I didn't know what was going to happen...I know...I know...I hope he doesn't read this because he is going to be...not happy...
At any rate...sigh...
Even though I could be carefree with some things, I have to know the outcome on many others. I don't care if we run out of retirement money, but I have to know that my test results are normal. I don't care if we spend all our reserves on a trip, but I get anxious waiting to see the outcomes of my students' evaluations of my classes. I'm not sure where I'm going with this story, but the thing is, I read a devotional this morning that said:
"Leave the outcomes up to Me. Follow Me wherever I lead, without worrying about how it will all turn out. Think of your life as an adventure, with Me as your Guide and Companion." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)
I loved that! The idea of leaving the outcome up to Jesus really spoke to me. I want to be free of the anxiety that worrying about how things will turn out causes me. I want to let go of my fears, go full-free-spirit and just trust Him! He is the One Who Holds my future in His Hands...so there's nothing to be afraid of. Like the devotional reading ended:
"You already know the ultimate destination of your journey: your entrance into heaven. So keep your focus on the path just before you, leaving outcomes up to Me."
What a blessed way to go through life: trusting Jesus fully and with our eyes on eternity.
I pray that these Thanksgiving season we can pause and truly reflect on what it means to trust Christ in the adventure that is our lives. I pray people like me can resist their desire to fast forward and enjoy the blessing of the process without being so focused on the outcomes...because we already know it! We know how it ends: Heaven! I pray that we deeply assimilate the truth of His presence in the valleys, on the plains, and on the mountain tops. I pray that we make the decision of keeping our eyes on Him and not on the waves and the wind... that we seek Him first and leave the rest in His Hands...the Hands that formed us and hold us and keep us near. In the precious Name Above All Names! Amen!