My Redeemer Lives

“What if you don’t want me anymore?” My son Dylan asked me the other day as we were trying to take an afternoon nap. Being an adoptive mother has taught me the need to be aware of Dylan’s special emotional needs. One of the most difficult of such needs to deal with is the fact that he cannot help but to occasionally feel unwanted. Once in a while, out of the blue, he’ll say or do things that will prompt us to show and tell him that we do love him and that no matter what, we are not going to stop loving him…that we are not going to stop wanting him…Apparently, no matter how young they are, children who have gone through abandonment develop issues in that department which can cause them to always have a hidden fear for the possibility that they may be not wanted; therefore, abandoned.

“How do I know you want me for real, when my “real Mother and Father” didn't?” That’s the question that lingers in their hearts and minds for a good part of their lives. My job is to make sure, no matter what, that I constantly reassure him of my unconditional love.

Just like Dylan, sometimes I also wonder why God would love me…why He would want me…

He who is Holy. He who is Perfect. He who is the Most High. How and why could He possibly want me as part of His family? Some of the members of my “real” family don’t even want me around, so…why would He? I have no idea. I bring nothing to the table. I contribute nothing. I am needy, weak, intolerant, prideful, etc, etc, etc…I am not but a burden. There is no logical reason for God wanting me as His daughter. Would you give your life for someone who means nothing to you?

God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5: 8 

That is the miracle of Grace. We did nothing to deserve such an expression of unconditional love. We can do nothing to pay Him back. He paid it all and all to Him we owe. Salvation is a gift. It is the gift of Grace and our reaction to it is gratitude and praise in worship of the One Who Saves us.

I am deeply loved! I am wanted! He died for me. This is what I must remember every time I feel the hurt of abandonment fears. I will never be abandoned by Him who died for me. Regardless of the depth of my neediness or weakness or imperfections, He loves me enough to have thought of me even before the creation of the world.

I hugged Dylan tightly and thought to myself…if I who am a sinner know how to love my son unconditionally, now how much more the One who chose to die for me to bring me into His family would love me. Praise His Precious Name!

Linking with Intentional Me