The Gift of Faith

I spend most of my time stressing out about making sure my sons have what they need...and want.  I remember, vividly, fine combing all McDonald's within a 50-mile radius to buy the silly beanie babies that came with the happy meals when Grant was about 5 years old.  The kid has always had a fascination with collecting, so he knew exactly how many of those beanie babies were going to be released, and he tenderly asked me if I could help him get them all...so I couldn't resist and...I believe...we got pretty close to the goal.

Then, there was the stupid fidget spinners...at least I think that's what they were called.  Mercy ME!  I tell you, Dylan became obsessed with them...so I did too.  I remember this one time, he came back home from school so excited about this one special one that he saw one kid had at recess, and he wanted it so badly, that I broke the bank and went to the crazy toy store called Play Things Etc. known by its uniqueness and bought the stupid thing...actually, I bought 2 of them just in case the one would break we'd have a back up. 

Sigh...

I can't help it.  I want them to be happy and not to have to go without...like I did.  I never, EVER, got toys other than for Christmas.  NEVER!  And even for Christmas, I only got like 1 or 2 meager things.  At around age 8, I started saving money so I could buy my own toys myself...I discovered how the whole thing works pretty early in my childhood.  My parents weren't very careful about that...so...not much fantasy and wonder for me, thank you very much!  And I HATED IT!  I never asked for anything because I knew I wouldn't get anything.  I saw my friends, all through my childhood and adolescence, getting stuff that my savings would never be able to buy me...and I felt left out and miserable most of the time.

I don't want my kids to feel like that.

But...where does it stop?  The fidget spinners quickly turn into $150 pair of shoes.  The beanie babies could become a car...and the stress to fulfill my sons' material dreams becomes debilitating and all-consuming.

Thank Goodness for my husband. (But don't tell him I said that, please!)  I have to admit, however, he was placed in my life by God's Hand to keep me from going over the ledge.  "The gift of faith is all they need," he said recently...and that humbled me to no end.

I never thought of it that way.  I think about my own life and see that, even though my parents didn't give me all the "stuff" I wanted, they gave me the gift of faith.  They took me to church and helped me create a discipline for seeking God that carries through to today.  They gave me a life where God was always an important part of it.  I never had the latest trends in toys or fashion, but never do I remember not knowing about The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost.  And there's nothing else I need.  I have it all!

The stress to try to provide my kids with all the stuff they want is an unnecessary burden I carry due to my own sense of dissatisfaction.  I feel as if I give my kids all they want, I will fill a void I have in my heart.  I long for something I don't know how to acquire, so I fall in the trap of believing that showering my boys with all the material things they'd want will make me feel better in my own disappointments and insecurities.  I'm going in the complete opposite direction to accomplish that, though...fulfillment is found in contentment:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4: 12-13

The most effective way to avoid envy, insecurities and a dissatisfied heart is to trust in the Lord and delight in Him, I read once...and they pointed to Psalm 37: 3-6

“Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun”

May the comforting words of this psalm be a guiding light in this new year for all of us who struggle with contentment. May the Holy Spirit reveal to all of us that a satisfied heart is only found in surrendering to Christ and in trusting on the assurance of The Father's Provision, Faithfulness and Love.  In the name of the Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost.  Amen!