Impatience-Driven Decision Making

Is impatience ever a virtue?  Well...I doubt it, being that the complete opposite: patience is a fruit of the Spirit, I'd imagine impatience is never justifiable.  I mean, impatience by itself is not the problem.  The issue is the crazy stuff we do when we are being impatient. 

Most of my worst decisions have been made because I acted on impulse as the result of being impatient, and refusing to wait.  The reason I know this is because, inevitably, after I have made the rash decision to act on my impatience, I realize, had I just waited a second longer, things would have turned out way better.  From mundane decisions: I'm so hungry, I can't wait, let me just stuff my face with this junk, to work decisions: I'm so afraid I'm not going to get that appointment to teach another year, let me take this other crappy job so at least I have something and I don't have to sit and wait; to other life-changing decisions: I'm just going to manipulate this situation so I can get what I want NOW...I have a history of bad decision-making due to my aversion to waiting.

I mean, I can't be the only person in the world who dislikes waiting, am I?  I doubt it.  Really, all I have to do is look at the first book in the Bible and plenty of examples of impatience-driven decision making are on display.  Sarah, however, is one that...I don't even have the words to describe her.  I mean, just one chapter after Abraham (who was still Abram) received the promised from the LORD Himself: 4 Then the word of the Lord came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir.” 5 He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Genesis 15: 4-5  Sarah (still Sarai), decided that she didn't need to wait for the Lord to fulfill His promise.  She would just take care of it right away by giving her Egyptian servant, Hagar, to Abraham in order to have children and build her family through her.  I mean...really?!

This is probably the queen of all impatience-driven decisions in the history of the world.  So much so that we are still suffering its consequences all these many centuries later...well, if we don't count Eve's taking the forbidden fruit and eating of it in the Garden of Eden as an impatience-driven decision...I think of it more as a pride-driven one, since I believe she was intrigued by the idea of being all-knowledgeable, like God.  But, what about Lot's daughters after the Lord rescued them from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, huh?  I don't even want to go there, but you can if you'd like, in Genesis 19: 30-38. 

At any rate...I look at these women's decision making process and shudder in disgust.  But...am I really that different from them?

Impatience implies a certain lack of faith...a lack of trust in the Lord that whether of Biblical proportions consequences or just minor misalignments, they all speak of a soul and a heart which are yet to find refuge under the wings of the Almighty.

Is patience ever a virtue? The answer is no, because it thwarts and squashes the actual quality we are called to display.  I've been ashamed of so many of my choices...I am tired of it.  I want to be intentional about fully relying on God this year in order to allow the Holy Spirit to grow and mature His fruit of patience in me...before I sink into an ocean of deep regret, and drown in the suffocating waters of the impatience-driven decisions I may continue to make.  Amen...