Relax

 Sometimes relaxing is just the hardest thing to do. At least it is for me. It's almost as if I feel guilty when I'm trying to relax. There is so much to do, I just have a hard time allowing myself to chill and take it easy. Life could be so demanding, and I've been so busy that I just can't believe I have time to just...be...

I looked at my list of things to do now that the semester is over, and I had to read it a few times before I realized I actually have time to just not do anything.

We have to get ready for our upcoming trip, and I have to pack my office at work because we are moving...but...all that can wait until Monday.  This weekend, something unbelievable is happening: I don't have to rush to do anything! LOL Of course, I have to feed my family, put clothes away, maybe clean a bit...but...nothing is pending over my head...no deadlines...this hasn't happened in YEARS!

It is the blessing of not being in a leadership position anymore. And I am grateful beyond words about that. Some people thrive when they are the boss. I want to shrivel down and die. Being the department chair at work sucked the life out of me, so I am inexpressibly thankful that, as of this past week, I have officially handed that role off to someone else. I am so relieved, it's as if I'm able to breathe again!

The experience taught me that I am not cut out for being in charge. I am not good as a leading lady...I'm more of a supporting role. I'm great at doing what others tell me. I'm not gifted enough to figure out the way on my own. And that's why I'm so grateful that I don't really have to...for I have One who directs my path...I have One who is the Way Himself, and He tells me to follow Him...and that's all I have to do.  

I trust Him when He tells me, "Come, follow me."

I'm not the best...I fail over and over again...I do so many stupid things...I'm so far from good...but He is always by my side, next to me...

I can relax now. He fights my battles. He holds me. He is the Light in my darkness. He guides me. He loves me. He guards my sleep...He stays awake so I can rest.  He guides my feet into the path of peace...(Luke 1: 79)