Lord, Increase my Faith

38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39 “Take away the stone,” he said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

40 Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” 

John 11: 38-40

This segment of the whole story of Mary and Martha and their interactions with Jesus really speaks to me. I mean, really! I imagine Jesus standing there, in front of the tomb in all His might. He Commands the stone to be taken away with all authority in His voice. Remember, Jesus is the Word! He is the Word that creates. He is the Word that when spoken, the world and the universe are set into motion.

John 1:3

All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being.



Colossians 1:16

For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him.



1 Corinthians 8:6

yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom are all things and we exist for Him; and one Lord, Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we exist through Him.



John 1:10

He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him.

And there is Martha…Martha, Martha…reverting back into her default:

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

Martha’s practical mind interferes with her faith. It is hard for her to separate the material world from the forces and powers of the spiritual realm…even when the King above all Kings of all that is visible and invisible is standing right in front of her.

What is it going to take for Martha to just be quiet, trust and have unshakable faith?

Lord, what is it going to take for me to be quiet, trust and have unshakable faith?

I want to be still and let you be God…but I so often fail…

I know it all in my head. But I need the Holy Spirit to convince my soul that regardless of whatever may happen with my circumstances, You will take care of me. I need the Holy Spirit to remind me over and over again, what You have already told me a thousand times:

“Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

Lord, increase my faith and rid me of my unbelieve so I can see Your Glory, the Glory of the One and Only, my Lord, Jesus the Christ.

Divine Love

It is rare indeed for anyone to die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5: 7-8

This is the good news of God’s love for us. Unlike the love the world preaches, divine love is inscrutable. It reaches a level of sacrifice that the human mind cannot understand:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

It is so multi-dimensional that for us to be able to begin to grasp it we need to be, ourselves, planted in its very core:

“I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” 

Ephesians 3:17-19

We need to be in a deep knowledge of God to know what love is, because

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4: 8

The good news is that, regardless of the riddle that true biblical love is, God, in all His mercy, gives us ways to get glimpses of how this little thing called love works. In my case, I have to look no further than to my own life as a Mother to get close to a small window into God’s love for us.

I love my sons dearly. I would gladly give my life so they can live. I would go without so they can have what they need. I would limit myself so they can reach a limitless potential. But, even in all my extravagant love for them, I don’t give them all they want. And the reason I don’t, is because I know better. As parents, we work on trying to shape the good characters of our children. We want to spoil them, but deep inside we know that is not good for the development of who they will be when they grow up. It is hard to deny them the things they want, but we do because we know better things are in store for them if they wait or if they let us do things our way and in our timing.

Take my son Dylan, for example. His latest obsession is the Rubik’s cube. He discovered the wonders of that colorful, shifting-squares, 1980s icon about a month ago. He is REALLY good at it. He mastered it in no time. But, in doing so, he, we, also discovered that the iconic toy has morphed into dozens of different versions, and of course, Dylan wants to collect them all!

We were so excited about him being able to solve it, that we let him buy a few more with his money and I bought him another one when he ran out of his own cash. But, he kept wanting to buy more and more and more. We finally made a deal, that we could think about buying more for his birthday as long as he could solve all those he already has. What has happened is that he has been hard at work trying to figure out how to solve them, and now is able to solve 3 different types (one of which is brilliantly complicated, if I may add). The result: he has become quite the sensation at school.

I believe, Dylan is ripping far greater benefits by mastering the puzzles he already has than by giving in into his wishes and desire to accumulate for the sake of merely collecting.

Our relationship with our children is a pale reflection of our relationship with Our Heavenly Father, but it serves as a tangible example that our finite and material minds can actually grasp.

The doubts and fears and lack of trust we feel when we perceive God’s silence or negative responses to our demands and petitions as distance, neglect or lack of love from His part toward us should dissipate once we remember that He knows better. He is the ultimate Good, Good Father. He knows what He is doing, and all He does works out together for the good and benefit of those whom He loves: you and me. We need not doubt His power, His goodness or above all, His love. He is working in us a far greater future than we can even begin to imagine. He is making us new!

"See How He Loved Him..."

35 Jesus wept.

36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” John 11: 35-37

We have seen how Mary finally made it to Jesus and found comfort in Him, like we find comfort in the best of friends’ company…a friend who feels our pain…a friend who heals our wounds.

After Jesus spent precious moments with Mary, He asked to be taken to the place where they had buried Lazarus. Right there, in front of Lazarus’ tomb, Jesus exhibited one of the most profound expressions of His humanity: He wept.

Those who have gathered around the scene saw Him and while some were moved by the evidence of love that Jesus displayed, others, however, began to stir some descent among the witnesses by adding an element of doubt about the power of Christ. “Why, if He is so powerful, couldn’t he save Lazarus?” “Who was that blind man, after all? A good-for-nothing-sinner! And He healed him! Why did He have to let Lazarus die? A good man…the only support of his two sisters who are left now destitute?” “What kind of a holy man is this Jesus supposed to be?”

Yep, I know the type. Upon occasion and more often that I dare to admit, I’ve been one of them. I’ve passed judgement on the wisdom and timing of God’s ways. I have voiced my concern about the way He allows things to unfold in my life and in the lives of others. I have doubted. I have not trusted. I have forgotten what He has tried to teach me over and over and over again:

8"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. 9"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.… Isaiah 55: 8-9

Our God is not made into our image. He is not a tamed lion or domesticated pet. He is the God of eternity. At the sound of His voice, galaxies are made. Of course, our ways and our thoughts and our timing is not His. Why do I always forget this?

I forget because I want a God that obeys me. I want a personal genie who grants me my every desire. After all, He has told me repeatedly that He loves me. Don’t you want to give it all to your beloved?

I forget because my understanding of love has been thwarted by the world’s understanding of this concept. The world, and more specifically, our society, teaches us that love does not deny and does not delay. If you love yourself or others, you don’t want to deny yourself or your loved ones the best, regardless of cost and in the most abundant quantities and without any waiting. Let’s continue to dig into this passage in the next post and see if God’s expression of love differs from the world’s interpretation.

March 1

While in the topic of surrendering and seeking Him first, I came across in my devotional Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, the following entry for today, which I thought is very fitting.  I'd like to share it, because it has brought me great comfort for today:

"When something in your life or thoughts makes you anxious, come to Me and talk about it.  Bring Me your prayer and petition with thanksgiving, saying, "Thank You, Jesus, for this opportunity to trust You more."  Though the lessons of trust that I send to you come wrapped in difficulties, the benefits far outweigh the cost.

Well-developed trust will bring you many blessings, not the least of which is My Peace.  I have promised to keep you in perfect Peace to the extent that you trust in Me.  The world has it backwards, teaching that peace is the result of having enough money, possessions, insurance, and security systems.  My Peace, however, is such an all-encompassing gift that it is independent of all circumstances.  Though you lose everything else, if you gain My Peace you are rich indeed."

Philippians 4:6, Isaiah 26:3

It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit may cover us with His all-surpassing Peace and that as we make the choice to Seek Him First, we would be blessed by His presence...the cure for every ill, the solution to every problem, the joy in every situation.

Not Yet 4

Back with Mary and how she stayed at home with the mourners instead of running to Jesus…in this particular case, it seems as if Jesus wanted Mary to get moving too. He wanted Mary to get out of the house and come to be by His side. He knew the only way Mary would find true healing was by seeking Him, literally! She needed to get physically moving, drop her sense of protection, step out of her comfort zone, use her pain as the engine that would help her rise, and go seek Him first. And as we have seen, Mary needed an extra push too…a push from non-other than her rather pushy sister, Martha.

28 After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” 29 When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 30 Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31 When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.” John 11: 28-31

As we make it our purpose and our choice to seek Him first, like Mary seems to have chosen, there are some moments, some rather especially troubling and radical moments in our search, which call for a radical change, a change from our default and out of our comfort zone in order for us to find peace…to find Him. The problem may be that in these types of situations, dropping our hang-ups might require Jesus staying put on the outskirts of our vicinity, as well as a push from one of His angels.

Sometimes we are so deep in the darkness of our pit of sadness and pain that we can´t move. We can’t see that He is there, waiting for us. We can’t see that we need to go to Him. We can’t see that it will take an action from our part to be in the awareness of His presence once again. That’s when, in His mercy, often, Our Lord puts people in our lives to get us going.

Also, more often than not, we have a hard time moving because we are too caught up in our circumstances and in what we are doing. The truth is that to be in Christ’s presence we have to drop everything and come to Him…to seek Him first we cannot be seeking after other things. But that is a very hard thing to do, even when what we are doing is suffering.

Our pain and our difficulties may become our center. I speak from experience here. Upon occasions, I have gone through moments of an anguish so gripping that it becomes the focus of my entire attention. My concentration is fully on the situation and the circumstances of my sorrow become a distraction, a barrier between me and My Lord. The worst part is that I´m so into my own, that it becomes almost impossible to let the pain go. I mean, is this messed up or what?

In situations like that, when the anxiety level rises and fear crawls up and down my spine, I can’t talk about anything else. My thoughts are consumed by my problem. I drive my relatives crazy because I seem obsessed by my worry. I don’t do anything right. I walk around with a dark cloud hanging over my head all the time. I’m in a bad mood. I resent those who refuse to understand or join in my concern. And I forget that even then, I do have a choice: I could to turn my issue into an idol that I worship daily at the altar of despair or I could turn it in at the foot of the cross and worship the One and Only who can take my burden, heal my brokenness and make me new.

And of course, this is not just during times of loss and sorrow, but the truth is that the choice of seeking Him first implies total surrender…dropping it all at the foot of the cross, issues, circumstances, hurts, pain, suffering, possessions, loved ones, worries, joy and sorrow…it all belongs to Him. And in return, He gives us His peace and His presence.

Not Yet 3

Back to the topic of when Jesus stays put somewhere seemingly outside of our periphery…we see that often, not only it looks as if we do need someone to come and fetch us…to get us moving, but implied in the act of moving is the act of dropping whatever we are doing…

Let’s back up a little again, and remember the scene: Lazarus is dead and buried. The sisters are left behind, desperate and alone so

19 “…many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother.”

Then,

20 “When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.” John 11: 19-20

We have examined how Martha jumped right to her feet and went to meet the Lord. Let’s look a bit more at Mary now. She made a choice again, this time, to stay. Curiously enough, this choice does not bring her closer to Christ. She could have joined Martha and run to Jesus as soon as she heard He was nearing town, “but Mary stayed at home…”

Intriguing…

On the other hand, after Martha is done talking to Him, Jesus also chooses to stay since we see that once Martha leaves Him, 30 Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. John 11: 30

He stayed put where Martha left Him. He did not keep going. He could have, but He chose not to…hmmm…

In the meantime, of course, Martha, as we have seen, went around the world in thirty seconds! She becomes the line that ties her sister to Christ. 28 After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.”
And, as we will see later, the dust hasn’t settled yet, when Martha is back by Jesus’ side. But I’m jumping ahead.

Mary’s choice kept her at home, surrounded by mourners, deeply consumed by her grief. Jesus is right outside of town, but she hadn’t noticed, or worse yet, she ignored Him. She did not follow Martha when she rushed to Him the second she heard He was near. She stayed put too, like Jesus…hmmm...

Why did she stayed home?

Was she too exhausted? Was she so physically and mentally spent to even move at the sound of Jesus’ name? As we know, grieve is draining and often one feels as if energy has left the body forever. So, Mary might have been just too weak to move. Or, was she, perhaps, too comfortable to move? Had the pain and suffering become a crutch she was hanging on to? Had the pain of loss blurred her vision? Was she too busy being sad? Was she settling into a rut that would lead to an emotional paralysis out of which she would have a hard time escaping from later on?

Whatever reason made Mary stay home rather than go running to Jesus, is not going to be the solution to her situation. This time Mary is not to find comfort at home. This time, she is not to find healing in the midst of those friends and relatives who have come to mourn with her. Nope! Mary will not find the comfort that heals for as long as she keeps hanging on to whatever it is that she is hanging on to in her corner of the house.

Let's ponder on this and continue tomorrow...

Grieving Like Martha?

Let me interrupt here the topic on how sometimes Jesus seems to stay outside of our periphery for a minute and let’s take a look at Martha again.

Do you remember how she ran to Jesus as soon as she heard He was outside of their town while Mary, on the contrary, stayed home…potentially drowning in her own sorrow and grief? Well, that’s one interesting study on contrast, if I’ve ever seen one.

Mary hangs out with the mourners at home, but our friend Martha…not so much. There is no evidence of Martha wallowing in sadness at the death of her brother and protector. There is no indication of Martha being still at this time of grief. On the contrary, she sprinted out of the house the second she heard Jesus was at the outskirts of town. This action led Martha to the ultimate comfort of Christ’s presence and words as well as to the gift of receiving one of the most important revelations in Scripture. But even after sharing such intimacy with Jesus, we don’t see Martha going somewhere quiet to ponder. Sooner than she got done having such a spectacular moment with Christ, she took off again to get her sister. I mean, really, you can say what you want about Martha, but the girl is a mover and a shaker…if you don’t believe me, ask Mary!

She can´t stop! Much like when faced by a crowd of hungry visitors coming to her house, Martha deals with the stuff of life through action. It is not a big surprise, therefore, that she deals with grief in the same way. I can only assume that action helps her cope as it gets her mind off of things a bit. Even though she is busy going from one place to another, at the risk of distraction, I cannot help but to wonder if the motion gives her a time to process what has just happened, and a chance to get in touch with her emotions even if at a non-emotional level...just for now, at least.

Grieving is one of the hardest things we would ever do in this life, and everyone does it differently. Some, like Mary, go through the more immediate route of confronting their emotions right away as they sit in the stillness of their pain and sorrow. Others, like Martha, choose to postpone the emotional charge of grieving by busying themselves and feeling productive by doing...by avoiding… Either way, however, facing one’s emotions is the only way that will eventually lead us to a bearable level of healing.

I remember when my Dad passed away over 4 years ago, in Panama. At that time, action was my friend. Dan and I had to get on a plane just hours after we heard the news, which meant figuring out what to do with our kids, getting tickets, finding money to get tickets, packing a few bags, getting to the airport and so on in a matter of minutes. The trek from our front door to the doorsteps of the home of my youth was a whirlwind. And, once that beloved blue door opened in front of us, there was nothing but more actions that needed to be done.

It was absolutely draining. It was a completely different experience from when my Mother passed away many years earlier. My Dad was still there. He took care of everything. So, I did, literally, nothing but grieve from the distance, since I could not be there for the funeral. When the last of your parents is gone, however, life suddenly hits you on the face with the added bonus of having to deal with decisions about what to do with the material remainings of a life that no longer exists.

My sister and I are both Martha´s, therefore, we pushed through and got everything done in record time. By the end of the week I was exhausted. It felt as if I’ve just blinked, and we were landing back at home. Through the following months, grief would fill my thoughts at odd moments as the realization of my Dad´s passing would feel unbearable. It has taken me years to be able to think about him not being here anymore without experiencing that sinking feeling I used to feel. Sometimes I think that, consciously or unconsciously, I made myself so busy back then, after his death, that I did not give myself time to contemplate and just be sad. So, the sadness accumulated in my heart until it had nowhere else to go but out, in often ridiculous ways, but out indeed, until the gallons of sorrow finally emptied out, and I was able to replace them with the fond memories of the man who was my pillar on Earth and with the joy of a quiet sense of peace.

What I’m trying to say is that regardless of their outward appearance, the Marthas of this world are truly made out of mush in the inside. The action-figure, visible image of women like Martha often signal a cover that tries to hide a person filled with the same emotions and sense of spirituality as those who are more open about them…the difference is only in the way they get in touch with them, and express them.

In the end, whether we do it like Martha or like Mary, the bottom line is not to skip the process, because it will catch up with us one day in unexpected ways if we don´t allow ourselves to grieve.