Am I Going to be OK? Everyone Hates Me

I am the reason everyone in my house is miserable…

That is a thought that has been puncturing my heart quite insistently in the last few…years…making me bleed, consuming my time and energy, depriving me of joy.

I cower in shame, covered in a blanket of darkness knitted by my own destructive, self-inflicted guilt. I don’t even know how to knit…but, there I am, daily knitting this blanket around me, aided by the enemy, who seeks to entrap me in this cocoon of death that slowly asphyxiates me and separates me from the Only One who can save me.

Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.

Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.” John 11: 43-44

This is the good news!!! When we belong to Christ, He does not leave us in the tomb! He comes to us. He weeps (John 11: 35). And He rescues us. He calls out our name, and at the sound of His voice…we rise up again, still wrapped up in the grave clothes, but alive…in His presence…free.

This is the kind of lesson that author Holley Gerth tries to teach us in chapter 3 of her book, You Are Going to Be Okay. This chapter deals with the powerful minds that God has endowed us with, as she teaches us valuable tactics to gain some semblance of control over our thought-live, so we don’t have to stay in the darkness of the tomb all of our lives.

Like we saw earlier, using the Fruits of the Spirit as a measure to test our thoughts, she wraps up the chapter by reminding us that it is possible to replace our toxic thoughts because Christ has equipped us to do so in order for us to not have to walk around with our grave clothes on after He has brought us back to life.

Every time we are bombarded by nasty thoughts, we are to pause, pray and walk away to ponder whether the thought that is tormenting us is of God or of the enemy. And the way to do that is by isolating the thought, then, testing it against two pieces of Scripture: Philippians 4: 8 and Galatians 5: 22 this way:

“Is this a thought that’s true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy? Is it a thought filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? If the answer is yes, keep on thinking it! If the answer is no or not completely, then replace it. Look at it from a different perspective. Think of it from a God’s perspective.”

For example:

I am the reason everyone in my house is miserable…

This is the type of thought that when tested against the questions above, the answer is a resounding NO to all the instances.

How can I replace it? How can I look at the issue from a God-perspective?

Maybe if I pause, pray and walk away to ponder, I could perhaps, rephrase the issue in this way:

I am worried about the happiness of my loved ones. It seems that I don’t know how to contribute to making their lives better, and that often, my actions and words may actually cause them to be unhappy. But I don’t know how to avoid that. I take responsibility for what I have done, and I pray, Lord, that you will help me improve. Please show me the way to becoming who you need me to be in order to love well all the people You have entrusted to me. Please forgive me for my short-comings, and fill me up with the Fruits of the Spirit. I don’t want to dwell in the dark tomb anymore.

Your turn now...what thoughts are tormenting you at this point in your life?  Pause, pray and ponder.  Put them to the test and if you need to, replace them.  Praised be the Lord for giving us those who help us take away the grave clothes off so we can go and be free.