Am I Going to Be OK? Hangry??

“Mama, can I wash my jersey?”

“What?”

“Hey, where’s my wallet?”

“Probably in your backpack.”

“No, it’s not there. I already looked…”

“Mama, I forgot my saxophone at home, can you bring it to the school?”

“Mama, what soap do I use?”

“I found my wallet.”

“Where was it?”

“In my backpack.”

“Mama, how do I get this washer started?”

“I don’t need any help with math.”

“Then, why do you have a D?”

UGH! AAAHHH!!!

After naming our feelings, author Holley Gerth advices to pray that God helps us recognize the source from which those feelings and emotions are emerging. In page 76 of her book, she refers to the “immediate why,” the current issue, not the long-term, long-ago cause. Why am I so irritable right now? Why am I annoyed at my kids at this moment? Why did I just lose it? In my case, probably because I’m tired and hungry.

The author says:

“An immediate why is not about the past. It’s about right now. It’s valid at times to analyze those deeper “why” questions. But I firmly believe that it’s best not to do that on our own – and especially not when we’re stressed.” (76)

Once we identify the “immediate why” of our current emotional state, the next step is to “figure out what I actually need.” (76)

This is a very practical advice which can save a lot of bitterness and ugly moments in my house. If I can pause long enough to name what I’m feeling and find out what is triggering it at that moment, I can do something about it!

Some examples of needs could be: sleep, food, companionship, help, or truth. In the book, the author says to ignore our mind’s first suggestions such as “cookies, slapping someone or running away to Hawaii,” but I have to say that a cookie might save lives in my case. So, I might not slap someone (too hard) or run to Hawaii, other than in my imagination, but I might go take a nap if I’m tired, or I might have a bite to eat if that’s what’s causing the issue at the moment. I suffer from “hanger” (anger while hungry) so sometimes, a cookie might solve it!

But anyway, we will continue with the rest of the steps on the next post. Right now, I have paused long enough to identify that I am hungry, so I’m going to go and have a piece of chocolate…