Trust enough to Surrender?

With the end of the year approaching, I started thinking about the word that I want to use to label 2018.  I couldn't decide what word I wanted to use, so I thought, maybe if I look at the last two year's words, I could, perhaps find inspiration.

The last two words I used were:

Trust

Surrender

They totally make sense together.  The two words work in an continuum. Usually, trust allows us to surrender.  The question that lingers is:  Do I trust enough to surrender? 

I think of my most priced, valuable, irreplaceable, important, meaningful, dear, beloved possession I may have...then...I think about surrendering this possession...could I do it?

Among all the precious gifts God has given to me, my husband and my sons are right there below salvation.  Could I give them up?  The thought alone makes me shudder in fear and anxiety.  The trust involved in surrendering them is not of this world.  The trust necessary to open my hands and let them go must come directly from the Divine, otherwise, I'd keep a grip so tight on them that I'd asphyxiate them.   

In order for me to open up my hand and offer them to the Lord, the measure of trust needed for such an effort must emerge from sources beyond what I can produce.    

I think of Mary, and how she must have held that little baby in her arms, thinking she could never let him go...but...knowing, the day would come when her heart would be pierced by the pain of His departure.  

In Your hands I commend all that I love, because it belongs to You, Lord...they are with me only as a loan.

Trust and surrender go together.  What next?

Peace...

The peace that surpasses all understanding.  And that's the word I'm looking for.