Grieving Normal Life

You never know how much you miss something until that something pops up in front of you after a long absence.  That happened to me today. 

Once I realized that I was not going to be able to get any of my much needed groceries until Friday through the online ordering and curb-side pick up services around my area...I decided to brave the streets and go shopping.  Boy, has that become a chore...but anyway...on my way back, as I was riding on the hilly side of Harmony Road here in Slippery Rock, I approached the top of one of those hills behind the University and, there it was... roaring in front of me... the yellow giant I haven't seen in over a month:  a school bus... flashing its lights, followed by a long, long, long caravan of over 50 cars all with red and white balloons, signs and other decorations displaying their joyful purpose.  I was the only car driving on the opposite direction, so slowly I realized what it was.  It was a parade of teachers and other staff from the entire district riding around the neighborhoods, to try to cheer the kids up and to show them that they care about them...that they have not been forgotten.

I have to tell you, after a good 25 plus cars going by me...I lost it.  I just lost it.  My vision became blurry with hot tears and I just broke down sobbing the rest of the way.  I couldn't stop.  I have been able to handle this whole thing uncharacteristically well, for my standards, but seeing that caravan just brought up all the sadness that I have been bottling up for the last 5 weeks...and the loss of all we are missing came gushing out.

I know I'm sounding selfish, ungrateful and even childish, but I just realize how much I'm missing normal things like seeing my boys leave for school in the morning, seeing the school bus drive away at dawn and back in the afternoon.  I'm missing the after school stories and the daily complaints of how much homework they have to do any given day.  I'm missing the events and activities that we would be getting ready for.  I'm missing the frantic rides to the Dollar General to grab a last minute something for whatever project that is always due tomorrow.  I'm missing the backpacks left on the living room floor and the gym bags on the steps.  I'm even missing writing checks for whatever fundraising is going on...and of course...I'm missing getting ready to see my young man prep for prom, spring concert and commencement. 

Life is not fair, and it's best if we learn this lesson early in life.  I know...but I think it is also OK to mourn when we experience loss.  And this current world situation is causing lots of different types of loss...and it is important to acknowledge it and allow ourselves time and space to grieve.  The current crisis is not just one that impacts our physical health...but at a deeper level, it is impacting our emotional well being too.  And just as we take precautions and protect our bodies, so should we also protect minds and spirits.

I finally made it home.  Red-eyed I was welcomed by the big smiles of two boys who had just experienced an event that really did the trick: the parade rode around the neighborhood and lifted their spirits with the horns, waives and cheers of those who took their time to show they understand and know how to teach lessons of the heart.

So today, I pray, that the Holy Spirit will grant us a very special awareness of His Presence in us, with us and around us so His Comfort can flow through our hearts and souls in order to experience His Peace that surpasses all understanding...as we go through different types of loss.  May we also be aware of this reality of widespread grieving, so we'd do what we can to show our solidarity, our understanding, our care, concern and above all, our love to those around us. In Jesus' Precious Name! Amen!