Driven

 One thing I always complain about my son Grant is...his lack of fire...he doesn't show much passion about anything...he doesn't seem to get excited about much...he is NOT driven...sigh...

AND.IT.DRIVES.ME.CRAZY!

(pun totally intended)

Anyway...driven...

Today, I read something that made me think about this concept.  It was a question that was meant to make the reader contemplate.  And, it achieved its purpose, I tell you.  The question was something like this:  "Why is it necessary for driven people to go on neutral sometimes?"

As you might have guessed it, the reason Grant's non-driven-personality drives me CRAZY is because I've always been pretty driven myself. And it pains me to feel like I have to be constantly pushing and/or dragging him.  Actually, I find myself pushing and/or dragging not just him, but, well, everyone around me.  I don't even have to know the person for me to feel compelled to push or drag or both (I push and then I drag).  Walmart's cereal isle, Main Street between 4 and 5 p.m., Aldi on a Wednesday or Saturday...my point is, I'm a rather driven person, so I'm pushy, impatient, controlling, verbally abusive, non-empathetic, unkind and always in a hurry.

So, I felt that the question was directed at me personally, but, "go on neutral"? What does that even mean?

 First, I looked up the definition of "driven."  I found two very intriguing explanations for the concept:

1. -operated, moved, or controlled by a specified person or source of power.
   
   -relentlessly compelled by the need to accomplish a goal; very hard-working and ambitious.

I'm not sure, but to me, these two ideas seem like opposing concepts, don't you think? The description of myself I offered earlier, points to a person who is relentlessly controlling to a fault, which is closer to the second idea in the definition of driven, the one about being very hard-working, ambitious, compelled by the need to accomplish. But then, the word also means "operated, moved or controlled by a specific person or source of power"...what?

The thing is that I see the idea of being driven as an active state, full of action and doing... the words in the first definition, though, are all very passive.  How could the same word mean active and passive at the same time? It's like one definition describes Grant and the other one me!  How can that be?  How can it be both? UGH!

Well, perhaps, that might be why the question is asking to consider the need for driven people to go on "neutral" once in a while.  So I went and looked for a definition of "neutral" that could bring some light to this scenario, and I found one that made me pause:  "a position of disengagement."

I think I'm starting to see something here.  As a driven person, I am "relentlessly compelled to accomplish, I'm hard-working and ambitious" I'm constantly on the move.  I think, if I don't do it, it won't get done...and it must be done, and it must be done NOW! Being driven is exhausting, and it can lead to insanity!  That is just simply not how we are to operate as children of the Most High King. As Christians, we are to trust, rely and fully depend on Our Lord.  That sounds totally like the first definition of the concept of driven, doesn't it?  But, how do I do that? How do I switch between the two definitions?

Somehow, driven Christians of the second definition, need to get to the first definition, and the only way to do it is by disengaging...and going on neutral for a while.  Going on neutral is the only way to do what Jesus tells us:  "Do not be anxious..." (Matthew 6: 34) and just roll and let the Lord do the work.  Let go and let God.  Be still and know...

How else do we expect to allow our Source of Power to move us if we are so tightly engaged on our twisted gears, that we don't release control?

Sigh...

I think God gave me Grant so I would remember that sometimes, I just have to shift to neutral and roll with it...trusting God and knowing He is the Divine Driver who will take us wherever we need to go.  I pray I can recall this the next time the boy drives me crazy.  I have to find that middle, that neutral spot between the two definitions...go on neutral and just enjoy the ride...let Jesus do the pushing.  Amen!