Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters...Colossians 3: 23
Work, work, work...that has been my story since March 2020. I feel as if it has been one, big, 14-month-long semester without a break...and I'm exhausted...
I don't want to complain because I have a good job. The Lord has been Faithful to us and has provided beautifully for us always, and especially during these times of uncertainty. But, I'm tired. Worse yet, I don't feel as if I have been working "for the Lord." And that's what really weights heavily in my heart.
I'm not sure all my toiling has anything to do with the work of God's Kingdom. I think I have lost track of my vision and I've wandered off the path here. I'm not really sure where I'm going. I look at myself and what I do, and I see just a list of senseless tasks, accomplished mindlessly...without a mission. I feel no higher sense of purpose. If I'm brutally honest here, all I see is that my only goal is to endure and my motivation is money...sigh...
I think that's why I'm so drained: because I spend long hours working, without an actual purpose.
Then, I read verses like Colossians 3: 23 and I feel convicted that I am not putting my heart into my work. But why is that? Well, because I'm not working for Him. I'm not dedicating it to the Only One who deserves the title of Master and Lord in my life. I'm endlessly working for all the wrong reasons. I'm turning money and other humans into masters, not realizing they are usurping the Lord's rightful place.
What to do, then? Repent! Ask for forgiveness and pray for guidance. I don't want to be like the rich fool in Luke 12: 13-21 or the young, rich guy and the Kingdom of Heaven in Matthew 19: 16-30.
The good news in these parables is that, in the end, even after all my failures, missteps, detours and mistakes, it is not about me. I cannot work my way into salvation. When the disciples witnessed the seeming impossibility of the young rich man to enter Heaven, they were alarmed and wondered: "Who then can be saved?" (Matthew 19: 25) And of course, that was one of Jesus' reasons for the entire exchange: to speak truth. “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19: 26)
That is the key to my dilemma: I will never be good enough to deserve God's love, but He loves me anyway.
So, in my useless toiling, I just have to make sure I keep my eyes on Him and that when I feel lost, I pause...pause long enough to take the time to re-dedicate my work so I can give it all my heart, as I remember that I'm not doing it for human masters, but completely and absolutely onto the Lord.
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