From Self-Conscious to Christ Conscious

 Today's devotional reading from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers talks about how self-consciousness can keep us from being complete in Christ.  I guess I never thought about that.  I've always viewed self-consciousness as a hindrance, yes, but not as something that could actually damage my ability to fully abide in the shelter of the Almighty.  

Of course, anything that builds walls between me and Jesus is bad.  I guess I just never thought of self-consciousness as one of those walls.  

And, what is self-consciousness anyway?  What is this thing that Chambers is talking about?  I believe, the type of self-consciousness that the author of the devotional refers to is when a person is overly concerned about his/her own actions and appearance as well as with what others think of him/her.  Chambers clarifies that self-consciousness is not a sin, and that it can be due to a nervous personality or because of a sudden change in circumstances typically for the worst.  So, most of the time, it is not the person's fault and there's not much they can do to stop the feeling.  We are not talking about being conceited here. It's more of a condition. However, the problem is that God wants us to be complete in Him.  And often times, when we are self-conscious, we do not have a sense of completeness.  We don't feel at rest.  We are in a sort of wrestling match against our own ideas (usually misguided, by the way) of how the world perceives us.  All of these things distract us from our goal:  to come to Jesus and be complete in Him.

I have wrestled with self-consciousness all my life.  My insecurities and my distorted self-image have led me to not being comfortable in my own skin, which manifests itself in my often excessive and always unnecessary concern/awareness of myself.  It's exhausting. And, if I think about it...it is an obstacle to my intimacy with Our Lord.  The more time I spend worrying about what other people might think of me...the less time I have to concentrate on staying closer to Christ and in cultivating my personal relationship with the Only One Who Matters!

Self-consciousness also keeps me from doing my job of going into the world and making disciples.  I'm so scared of coming off as an offensive, backwards, old-fashion hag by trying to be open about my faith and about Jesus...that I just stay quiet.  And that has been a weight I have been carrying for far too long.  I don't know how to let go of this burden.  Chambers says, simply to, "come to Jesus."  But, could it really be that simple?

I have to explore this step further and in more depth and detail.  So, for now, I will leave it here, but...let's see if we can get to a point where self-consciousness is not a hindrance or a wall anymore.  Let's pray that the Holy Spirit can guide us to overcome anything that hindrance our relationship with Christ.  Let's pray that we can could simply, come to Jesus and be whole.  Let's pray that instead of being self-conscious, we can be solely Christ-conscious.  In His Precious Name.  Amen