Distractions

Distractions...anything could be a distraction.  Bad things, like sinful actions, not only distract us, but actually derail us, causing us to lose our path.  But, not all distractions are sinful actions.  Often, we become distracted by what we consider godly pursuits.  And this is where it gets tricky.

I have been very distracted lately.  Work has been an all consuming distraction that has caused me to neglect most of what is important in my life, including my family...all the way down to this blog.  I have felt as if I could not spare a few minutes of any day to just sit down and quietly meditate on something the Lord has placed in my mind as I write about it.  I have neglected to do the one thing that makes me feel the closest to My Lord...the one thing that feels as if I'm hearing directly from Him...and for what?  I've neglected My God for the world.

Of course, I need to be a good steward of all that God has given me, and that includes my job outside the home.  However, I'm at risk of making it my idol instead of a means to do God's work.  I'm at risk of forgetting the purpose why God gave me this job: to serve Him.  And I'm making it all about myself, my wants and my pride.

I don't want to continue this trend.  I want to be strong enough to say "enough"!  I don't want to be derailed from my walk with Christ.  I don't want to be detached from my mission to my family and to those around me.  I want to be who He says I need to be, and even though I am not 100% sure I truly understand who that person is...I know it is not who I have been lately.

Moses seemed to have been too distracted or too detached to even carry out the most basic commandment the israelites had received from God through Abraham: to circumcise all the males in his household.  This distraction was going to cost him dearly when the Lord sought to include Moses' first born in the group of those sons who would be killed for the disobedience of Pharaoh.  It is a confusing passage in Exodus 4:24, but when we see what Moses' wife, Zipporah does in verses 25-26, we begin to understand what had happened.  She took it upon herself to carry out what Moses failed to do.  She understood the severity of God's words and how it would affect them too...so...the wake up call woke her up enough to take the knife and circumcise her son herself. She realized that the distraction had led them to disobedience and disobedience meant they too were going to pay the price of neglecting the things of God.

Lord, I don't want it to come to that in my life!  I am seeking Your guidance today so I take steps of wisdom back onto the tracks of our walk together.  Please, redirect my path and guide my every step so I can trust I am walking with You, whether at home or at work.  May I have keen eyes to see the road that leads to You.

May the Lord be our GPS!

A Nomadic Spirit

I don't talk about this much, but, I have to admit that the nomadic lifestyle has a certain appeal to me. According to the dictionary, a nomad is someone with no permanent home...and one travels from place to place looking for fresh pasture for their livestock...that last part is very intriguing:  one who travels from place to place looking for fresh pasture...hm...

I wonder if that's where the appeal is for me?  I seem to have a permanent longing for "something else..."  I don't really know what that "something" truly is.  All I know is that, I have a hard time feeling settled.  If I think about it, I truly dislike the idea of "settling."  In my mind, settling means trapped.

My heart grows restless when I feel trapped.  Of course, so does anyone's, right?  The issue with me is that I feel trapped very easily.  Therefore, my heart becomes restless very often.  The result is a person: me, who is never satisfied and content where she is.

Deep sigh...

I waste too much time thinking about our next move.  I spend too much money planning our next vacation.  I invest too much energy manipulating events and people to fulfill my longing for the next adventure.  Unlike some, I don't dream of a "forever home."  I dream of a life on the go, or at least, a life with different places to go to: an oceanfront condo in a tropical island, an apartment in the city, a cabin in the mountains, a house by the lake, and an RV to run around when I get bored.

I want to be a nomad...always looking for fresher pasture...

The thing is, the fresh pasture never lasts.  Therefore, the moving never stops.  And the soul begins to wither...and the soul that withers fails to see the beauty around her.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3: 11

That is my problem, I am so focused on the next best thing, that I fail to appreciate that God has surrounded me with beauty...and that the longing and the restlessness of my heart are not for any particular and exquisite place here on earth...but for eternity.  I'm, indeed, not looking for a forever home.  I'm seeking for my eternal dwelling, which I can only find in the One who Created me.

In the meantime, not much unlike Joseph, Jacob's beloved son, I will have to make due with the circumstances I am dealt with here in this material life.  Whether a favorite son, a hated brother, an incarcerated slave, the object of lust or the second in command of a great empire, Joseph stayed true to The Lord, and The Lord gave his heart comfort, strength and contentment everywhere he went.  

That's what I need.  I need to seek the shelter of God's embrace and trust His plan wherever I am.  I need to trust that He's got me and that I am not trapped.  Though, I will never be able to fathom all He has done from beginning to end while I am still on this earth...I must know that He's holding me by His right hand, and will never let me go.

I'm not sure if my nomadic spirit will ever find comfort in settling on one place for good.  But I do pray the Holy Spirit will go with me and bring me contentment in every situation...making me realize that there's nothing wrong with my pastures, even if they don't look as fresh as the one further ahead...Amen!

The Perfect Song

I don't know about you, but I love music.  I remember, as a teenager, music was my refuge.  I felt very lonely all the time in my adolescence...so, music was my constant companion.  The songs on the radio provided an escape and gave me a place to go in my imagination.  Life always had a background song back then.  I had a very eclectic taste, so I enjoyed music even if I didn't understand the lyrics.  I remember spending hours upon hours trying to figure out the words of my favorite American songs so I could look them up on the dictionary and see if I could piece together the lyrics as in a puzzle.  Most of the time, I only was able to get a line in the chorus or the hook...kids have no idea how easy they have it now with the Internet...

It took me years, until my English was decent enough to go back and finally understand that the 1984 song "Missing You" by John Waite had the word "ain't" in it, which gave a whole other twist to the story and made me like it even more (though, I also learned that we ain't supposed to use ain't).

Songs were and continue to be an important part of my life.  They transport me and give me joy.  They accompany me when I'm alone.  They don't judge me.  They are always there when I need them.  They offer me what I want...which usually means a safe place to land when I'm feeling the hardships of life pile up on my road...

So, today, when I read Isaiah 12: 2...you can imagine how I paused at the sight of the word "song."

"Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; For the LORD GOD is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation."

I usually read an NIV Bible, and unfortunately, this translation does not contain the word "song," but rather, it uses the word "defense" instead.  How shocking!  Why?  It is, in my humble opinion, so much richer to read that the Lord God is my "strength and my song"!  I totally get it!  He is "My Song!"  WOW...mind blowing...

The Lord God is the Song I've been waiting for my whole life!

He is the One Song that I never played, but that was always there...waiting for me to discover Him...hidden on the back of the shelf...collecting dust.  He is the One Song in my playlist that I never downloaded, and one day plays back in the shuffle...amazingly unexpected...wonderfully soothing...endlessly loving.

He is the Perfect Song.  He is the Song that brings me peace and comfort when I am feeling low.  He is the Song that offers me company when I'm alone.  He is the Song that doesn't reject me when the whole world things I'm nothing.  He is the Song that doesn't judge me when I am weak.  He is the Song that makes me strong.  He is the Song that moves me and encourages me, when I don't know the point of living.

All along the road of my life His Presence has been my sound track...and today, I just pray that I can have the ears to hear and the heart to tune in, for the Lord God is my Salvation, my Strength...My Song!

Feeling Superior?

Do you sometimes, look at the women in the Bible and feel all superior, and stuff? or is it just me?  You know what I mean?  For example, say...reading through Genesis, it's easy to think of women like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Potiphar's wife, etc. as plotting, conniving, manipulative, and all around just not very godly people.  Am I right?  It's easy to compare myself to them and start feeling all self-righteous and stuff...the truth, however, is...that I am not all that different from them...not even a little bit...

Sigh...

Lately, I've been going through situations in my workplace which are showing me that I have nothing to feel proud of when it comes to my behavior.  The way I have been reacting to these situations is very revealing of who I really am...and I'm not liking what is been revealed.  The layers are peeling and I'm finding out I'm just an ugly, smelly onion that makes people want to cry.

How many times have I rolled my eyes at Sara and Rebecca for trying to "fix" things?  Or, how about the fact that it always seems to catch me by surprise that Rachel kept hanging on to her family's idols, even after witnessing God's presence and favor?  And that darn Potiphar's wife...Mercy me!  But then...I missed the point of Scripture: to make it clear and evident that there isn't anyone righteous...not even one...not even me.

Perhaps, the scenarios are different: workplace instead of home; but the situation is all too similar:  status and pride.  The idols?  They're there too.  They might not be figurines I can hide under my skirt when I sit on the ground, but they're idols nonetheless.  Ruining someone's life and reputation? Gossiping could do just that.  And I am just as wretched as my sisters in Genesis.

I don't know how to get out of this cycle of darkness I find myself in now...I can't do it on my own.  But I pray the Holy Spirit helps me to start taking the first steps toward an attitude of humility, and helps me stop and change the course I'm on.  It doesn't have to be a huge statement.  It could be small things like, putting the phone away so I don't jump into gossipy replies as soon as I get text message alerts.  I don't have to make a proclamation.  It can be just as simple as keeping my mouth shut and just doing my work.  It doesn't have to be a total makeover show.  It can just be a decision that would bring me back to liking the person I see on the mirror again.

Reading about the women in the Bible, particularly in Genesis is teaching me to read myself and realize I need just as much forgiveness and grace as they do...if not even more.

May the Holy Spirit guide us to walk the path of His righteousness as we humble ourselves in His presence.