Group Test

So the cloud of the LORD was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel during all their travels. Exodus 40: 38

I absolutely love the last verse of the book of Exodus in the Old Testament.  It is a testimony to how Our Great and Awesome God is always, constantly and unconditionally with us.  And, I need messages like this as I tremble and shudder at the current world situation.  

I've always been a person who likes to feel in control.  Dan says I'm like a dictator.  Well...I wouldn't go that far...but, in a way, I am.  I do like controlling things, people and events.  Life has taught me, however, over and over again, that I must not be like that.  I need to learn to let go of the reigns and relent my desire to be so controlling.  And today's world crisis with the coronavirus is the mother of all lessons. This is like my dissertation defense.  If I pass, I will get my PhD on letting go.  I remember that day.  The day I had my dissertation defense in front of a committee of pompous/elitist/larger-than-life professors who sat in a semi-circle facing me, ready to pounce at my every argument, waiting for me to stumble and fall so they could confirm that I was not worthy of  being granted a PhD.  All through this inquisition, I was able to divert every flaming arrow and occasionally even hit back.  The reasons I could do that? I knew my topic inside and out...I knew I had Dan outside waiting for me, ready to catch me regardless of the outcome, and I knew The Holy Spirit was in me, present always.

As I see my plans shattered on the floor, and I can't even pick up the pieces to put something back together again, I think about how the Lord has been preparing me for a time like this.  For years He has been trying to teach me the lesson of trusting Him above any circumstance...so I could take this exam now.  I walk into the room of testing not knowing anything else other than the assurance of His Presence, His constant and unfailing presence in me, and the fact that I am not alone.  He has given me a family to walk with me and to hold on to as the exam takes place.  I know my subject well.  And the main point is that I don't know anything other than the truth of Jesus, and that the only certainty is my need to seek Him first and keep my eyes on Him.  

The funny thing about this dissertation defense is that it is not just me going through it.  It is the entire world.  It's like a group test (which my students always ask me for and I say NO).  We are not alone in the conference room facing ruthlessness by ourselves!  We have each other to hang onto as the Lord leads our every step.  We can do this!  We know what to do.  We know that if He stuck by the Israelites regardless of their nagging, fickleness, grumbling, immaturity, faithlessness and disobedience, He will stick by us too.  His Presence is with us.  All we have to do is Trust.  As we trust, even those control-freaks like me, will learn to let go. 

Dear Lord, as we travel through this world crisis with the coronavirus and all the ramifications of the current situation, we trust You are with us.  We trust You love us.  We trust nothing can separate us from You loving arms.  We trust You are Good and Faithful.  We trust You will calm our fears and turn them into faith.  We trust that at the end of this journey, we will be stronger, closer to You and victorious.  We know a PhD will be nothing compared to the honor and glory of being found under the shadow of Your Wings. Keep us there, Dear Lord.  Keep us near.  Give us a special awareness of Your Presence so our souls can find peace.  In the Precious Name of Jesus, Our Lord and Savior.  Amen! 

Surrender Your Struggles to Him

"What are you struggling with?" Asked our Pastor today during the online worship service.  Boy, can I write volumes on my struggles, especially right now.  I mean, I haven't been able to go shopping in like three weeks, and instead, I've been stuck in the kitchen trying to keep everyone fed, and no going to the movies!!! The struggle is real!

However, I don't think that's what he meant.

Pastor Doug was actually talking about meditating on sin that we are struggling to surrender to Our Lord and Savior. 

Sigh...yeah...I got those struggles too...

One comes to mind right away: gossip.  The last couple of months have been filled with issues at work, and the way I have been dealing with those issues is by gossiping.  I have been calling it "venting."  In reality, though...the more I think about it...the more I realize I have been indulging in gossiping.  I've called it "discussing."  But, there is no way to disguise it.  It has been plane and simple gossip.

I am ashamed.  I am convicted.  It's time to surrender.

I went for a long walk by myself this afternoon, taking advantage of the rare, beautiful weather...and at the end, I said to Him: I surrender it to You.  I am sorry about the way I have acted, and I surrender it to You, Lord. 

A weight has been lifted off my shoulders. 

Now, the thing is...what am I going to do...how am I going to react when those with whom I commiserate and  share my gossiping want to dive into yet another session?  I am praying that My Lord takes the wheel and reigns in my tongue so I can stay out of it.  The first step...not to instigate it.  Hopefully this will help the gossiping sessions to never start...then, surrender it again, so the Holy Spirit can take hold of me and guide me out of it.

Sigh...

Well, thank you, Pastor Doug for bringing this up today.  I pray that I am strengthened by Christ to resist and not to fall into the temptation of my struggle, and to help me to surrender it all, over and over again, until it is not a struggle anymore.  In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!

Are We in a Horror Movie?

Dylan:  "why do we keep watching all these movies about outbreaks, and flu, and viruses and pandemics?"

Crickets...

It's true, we have been on a roll, watching all that streaming services have to offer which are pandemic-themed, and we couldn't answer Dylan's question as to "why."

The rules of the game have changed and continue to change.  The entire world is on lockdown.  People are confined to their homes.  Jobs and businesses are up in the air.  People are worried about where the next paycheck is coming from.  Supply chains are threatened.  Scarcity looms in the air. Graduation plans are postpone.  Senior year is ruined.  Vacation plans have been canceled.  Kids are preparing to go to cyberschool.  Fear is running rampant.

It feels almost as if we had been taken out of the world we were used to, and dropped into one of those dystopian/post apocalyptic-society movies we've been binging on...dropped into a foreign universe where things don't look familiar and life feels really strange.

How are we supposed to deal with all these? 

The Israelites were captive in Egypt for some 400 years or so.  They were slaves, but they were used to it.  Generations had been born in that environment, which didn't know life could be any other way.  Then, along comes in this Moses guy saying that He was sent by the God of Their Fathers to lead them out of captivity into the promised land...okay...sure...

Shortly after, the entire Israelite nation (thousands upon thousands by then) found itself in the wilderness...wandering...with a Pillar of Light leading them in what seemed like circles...so, complaining, grumbling and whining became the thing to do:  what are we going to eat? What are we going to drink?  We're sick of this Mana, we want meat!  We can't see God, let's make a golden calf to have something tangible to worship.  Moses face is to bright.  He's scaring us, cover it up! Why did you have to take us out of Egypt?  For what? So we could die in the desert?

What did God do?  He kept them busy.

He gave them strict rules to follow:  do all that is in this list and you will be OK.  And He gave them work to do:  here's very detailed instructions on how to build the Ark of the Covenant, the Tabernacle, etc. etc.  And He equipped them to carry out the tasks:  He anointed priests to enforce the rules.  He enabled craftsmen and gave them fine skills to build all that He commanded. (Exodus 34-36)  People got busy providing all that was necessary to carry out God's instructions, and life took on a sort of rhythm that little by little began to feel more familiar and stable, even in the midst of uncertainty and wilderness wanderings.

I believe God has a plan for us today in the current global crisis as well.  I believe He is calling His people to stay busy within their confinement:  busy getting back to His Word and looking out for those less fortunate.  I believe He has sent us all to our "rooms" so we would pick up our Bibles, dust them off, and finally open them so we could meet Him there, like a Holy of Holiest within our own homes.  He is enabling us to abide by His will by giving us precious time to seek Him first and adopt His plan as our own.  He is giving the world an opportunity to turn its head upon Him, the Pillar of Light that is never extinguished.  The Provider who never abandons.  The Healer whose Powerful Hands are able to rid the world of disease.  The Comforter, whose warm embrace doesn't need to keep social distance.

We are not in an end-of-the-world movie.  Circumstances are changing, but God never does.  Perhaps, this is His way of freeing us from captivity!  Maybe this is how He breaks the chains that kept us enslaved.

Maybe, we are supposed to use this time to seek the opportunities for a life that puts Him at the center.  Like the Israelites, let's get busy finding our way back to Our Lord.  He is calling us.  Let's quiet all the other voices and tune into the Voice of Truth once and for all.  In the Precious Name of Jesus, Amen!

Dylan:  "Can we watch one of your silly, romantic comedy movies, Mama?"
Me:       "Of course, my child after my own heart.  Let's watch The Good Sam, you'll like it!"

I Trust You Lord!

Cereal Isle at Super Walmart in Union

Dan:  "You're going to let him go to the grocery store?"
Me:   "...er...yeah..."
Dan (yelling):  "Well, make sure you wash your hands, Grant!"
Me, holding my breath by the window, while watching Grant drive away:   "O dear...maybe I should not have let him go to the grocery store..."

This is just one of the instances that came to mind as I read this morning's devotional...instances of wanting to hold those we love, tightly near to ourselves with clenching hands. 

"This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control.  In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in My Presence, where you are complete.  Take time to bask in the Light of My Love.  As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized possession into My care.

You can feel secure, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness of My continual Presence.  The One who never leaves you is the same One who never changes:  I am the same yesterday, today and forever.  As you release more and more things into My care, remember that I never let go of your hand.  Herein lies your security, which no one and no circumstance can take from you." (Sarah Young Devotional: Jesus Calling)

I don't really have anything else to add to this...just: Amen!

I heard the garage door opening and I exhaled when I saw Grant climbing the basement stairs carrying a few grocery bags.  I gave him a hug.  He told me how the grocery store workers were all wearing masks.  I hugged him again, and we went about our day.  Later that night, after the kids were already asleep, Dan asked me:  "Did you tell Grant to wash his hands after he came back from the grocery store today?"  Me:  FACEPALM!

Lord, I trust You with our lives today, and always.  In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!

Our Eyes Are On You!

2 Chronicles 20:12 (NIV)

Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

I heard a pastor bring this scripture up in a live-streaming sermon yesterday as we tried our best to do home-church (boy, how do the Amish do this every Sunday?).  And I was struck by it.  The people of Israel are surrounded by enemies, and this honest cry is lifted to the God Almighty...

I identify with this cry.

"I do not know what to do..." this is often my state.  I stumble into trouble.  I trip and fall.  I get lost on my way...and I don't know what to do.  I walk away from My Lord and I lose my way...and I don't know what to do.  I obey my flesh and stop listening to the Spirit...and I don't know what to do.  I'm scared by the enemy that surrounds me...and I don't know what to do.  I witness the panic on those around me...and I don't know what to do.

But, there is one thing that we can always do.  The only sure thing that will provide guidance:  to keep our eyes on Him.

My eyes are on You, Lord.  I claim Your promises as true.  I cling to Your love eternal.  I trust Your Goodness.  I invoke Your Presence.  I keep my eyes on You, Lord...for even though I do not know what to do, I know You do.  Your Sovereign Hand is in control and I am on the Palm of Your Hand.

In the midst of these anxious days, when uncertainty about everything reigns all throughout our worldly perspective, let's not be like Peter who got distracted by the winds and the waves around him, and let's fix our eyes upon Jesus...and wait for the things of this earth to become dim in the Light of His Wonderful Face!  Amen

Church without a Building

Well...here we are...a Sunday, a beautiful Sunday with blue skies and sunshine...and our church building is closed...

Notice I said church "building."  Obviously, that wording was intentional because, the Church is not the building.  We know, the Church is us, the people of God.  We are the Church.  The body of believers IS the Church.

Of course, we are called to gather together not only because it is our duty, but because AMAZING things happen when we do:

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Matthew 18: 30

And we are NOT to neglect such gatherings:

Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10: 25

But, when circumstances keep us from meeting with our brothers and sisters in Christ in person, physically, under the same roof...we can still gather spiritually as we recognize that we are actually the Temple (1 Corinthians 6: 19)...the Holy Spirit lives in us, so we convene with Him on the Sacred and Holy Ground of our hearts and souls.  

Therefore, today, let's have our gathering as we dedicate time to focus on our reality as children of God, a God who has not and will never, ever forget about us.  We belong to a fellowship that is unbreakable.  We are united in Christ who tells us to "rejoice and be thankful!" as we walk with Him, intentionally paying attention to Him.  On a day when the world seems to be upside down, crumbling and changing by the hour...let us fix our eyes on the One who never changes...on the Cornerstone.  

Let's read a chapter in the Bible and meditate on it.

Let's read a devotional.

Let's watch a Christian movie with the family.

Let's play Bible trivia with the kids.

Let's have a meal and truly give thanks for the food in front of us as we pray for those less fortunate.

Let's seek His peace through staying thankful.

Let's share an encouraging word with someone else.

Let's send a virtual hug to someone who feels alone.

Let's look at all that He has created and contemplate in awe.

Let's be still and know that He IS God!

Soon, we pray, this whole mess we are in will be in the history books.  Soon, we pray, we will be together again in our beautiful sanctuary.  Soon, we pray, we will hear the melodious sounds of our friends voices and the delightful squealings of our kids dancing in the hallways of our Sunday School aisle.  But today, let's be the church on our own.

In the Precious Name of Our Lord.  Amen!

NOTE:  share with us what you are doing as the church on your own today. Virtual hugs to all!

Flashbacks

As I organize and make a mental inventory of the dry goods plus the freezer food we have in the house, flashbacks of over 30 years ago rush through my mind and soul.  It was December 1989...I lived alone in a cute apartment own by my brother in Panama city.  In one evening, the world I knew was turned upside-down.  Amidst the bombing, the machine guns hanging from low flying helicopters, the curfew and the American soldiers and tanks surveying the streets, people took to the stores and looted.  Food was the first thing that disappeared.


I don't want to panic, but...it is very difficult when I witness empty shelves at stores where plenty has always been the norm.

"I always said it...It's not the bullets what's going to kill us...it's hunger," Angelita's words are tattooed in my brain.  She was my brother's housekeeper.  She was from Dominican Republic, a country that not that long ago had gone through tremendous hardship as well.  She spoke these words in confidence to me as she opened the pantry in my brother's kitchen to reveal nothing more than a few cans of forgotten things bought by mistake long ago.  I had finally made it to his house so we could be together in one place.  I was relieved to be there...but the reality of scarcity hit me right on the face.  My niece was 11, maybe 12.  My nephew was 6.  We had a cousin who came to find refuge with us.  My brother, sister in law, Angelita and I.  Seven people, a couple of dogs and no food in the house.

These memories rush in as we face the current situation...and all I want to do is fill up every corner of the house with food.  I want the security of stored goods to bring peace to my heart.  But...will it?

Of course not.  The same thing that was true 30 years ago in my life is true today:  The Lord is with us...and He will provide.

He knows what we need.  And He will deliver.

Back then, He made sure we were OK, and today He will too.  I shake off the images from the US invasion of Panama and find refuge in God's promises of His perfect plans for us...not to hurt us, but to give us a future and hope. 

Fully Rely on God!

As we walk into the unknown of these unprecedented current circumstances...we walk knowing that He walks before us.  He is our Pillar of Light and Protection.  Regardless of what might seem as scary unstability, we are not in sinking sands because we stand upon the Solid Rock. 

I pray that the Holy Spirit will give us a very vivid awareness of His Presence in our lives right now.  That we may feel the warm embrace of His arms holding us tight and making fear disappear.  I pray He gives us discernment to know how to proceed.  And above all, I pray we stay calm...trusting Him...Fully Relying on The One Whom the Winds and The Waves Obey!  In the Precious Name of Jesus.  Amen!