Summer Meditations: Just as I Am

Here we are again, back to Psalm 139. Today, we’ll take a look at verse three:

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Bottom line, the Lord knows me/us. He knows everything about us. He knows what we keep hidden in places we hope nobody would ever look, like our thoughts… and He also knows the outward manifestations of who we are, like our behavior…yikes!!!

Before we went to Panama, the whole side of the Dieter family spent a week at the Beach in South Carolina. I loved it! The kids loved it! If it weren’t for the long drive, we would be going there often during the year. The sense of freedom is just lovely! The kids are pretty much independent. They were in a room across the hall from us with the cousins. There was a pool in the house. The beach was across the street. The kitchen was fully stocked so everyone could pretty much get their own breakfast and lunch by themselves, at their own pace. For dinner, we took turns cooking so no one had to be stuck in the kitchen every day.

At any rate, the only things we truly had to worry about on a daily basis were,

1. Who is going to set up camp at the beach today?

2. Am I going for a walk?

3. Am I going to read my book or take a nap?

We spent most of the time going in and out of the house back and forth from the beach. And I spent a lot of time lying down in my beach chair, under my umbrella… doing nothing… and loving it!

As I have mentioned, I am a… er… rather controlling person/Mother, so I always want to know where my sons are and what they are doing. I worry when I don’t know. So I do all I can to try to find out. That week at the beach, however, I realized that if I wanted to chill and enjoy to the fullest the gift that trip represented, I was going to have to let go. If I wanted to truly honor the blessing by delighting in it, I was going to have to trust my boys to do the right thing and be able to fend for themselves. So I did.

Half of the time I had no clue where they were at. Suddenly, I’ll see them next to me. Then, I’ll see them in the water. Next thing, they would be leaving back to the house. Later, they’d be back next to me under the umbrella, on the sand. Shortly after, they would go back to the house to grab a bite. They were coming and going all day, and I was not familiar with all their ways!

My point is that even a highly controlling Mom like me cannot keep up with every step her children take. No matter how many tactics I device to try to stay on top of things as far as their very moves… I fail at the task. It is just impossible! And…would I really want to know my children’s every move? Would I still love them the same?

The thing is, the Only One who is ever able to do that is the Lord. Our Heavenly Father is the Only One who is ever able to watch over all His children constantly, without ever having to let go.

Not only that, but in spite of knowing us, in spite of being familiar with ALL of our ways…in spite of discerning the reasons for my going out and my lying down, He still loves me! Like I said earlier… that’s unfathomable!

He truly loves me just as I am!

And my response to such an expression of such a magnificent love is complete awe… This past Sunday, we sang the Travis Cottrell version of one of my favorite Hymns, “Just as I am” written by Charlotte Elliott almost two centuries ago. This version contains a new stanza that absolutely touches my very soul and summarizes what I have been trying to say in this highly convoluted post:

I come broken to be mended
I come wounded to be healed

I come desperate to be rescued
I come empty to be filled
I come guilty to be pardoned
By the blood of Christ, the Lamb
And I'm welcomed with open arms
Praise God, just as I am

Even though you are familiar with all of my ways, you still call me Your Own…unfathomable!