Summer Meditations: The Unruly Tongue

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.

O dear! Verse 4 of Psalm 139 hits me like a ton of bricks.

Of all the behaviors that are…say…questionable in my character, an uncontrolled tongue is one of the worst. My kids would gladly testify on this one. Speaking life is not one of my attributes…sigh…

I snap too quickly, then, my frustration comes out in harsh words that leave behind a wake of sadness, regret and guilt.

My carelessness and selfishness lead me to saying things with the intention of hurting the one who hears them. When facing stressful situations or confrontations, rather than choosing my words wisely in order to keep the peace, I choose them wisely in order to wound and win the argument.

It is a behavioral issue that I have been working on since forever. The best way for me to not be harsh is by not talking. Therefore, often, what happens is that I just bite my tongue and stay quiet even when it would have been good for me to speak up. I just shut it because I know the second a word gets out of my mouth, it is not going to be the right word and it will cause the other person to say something that is going to trigger even worse words from me and the thing would not end well. Staying quiet works every time. The problem is that I cannot always do it, and that even if I am able to keep my mouth from producing words, the words are bouncing inside of my mind just as loudly and harshly.

I don’t think that’s the way it is supposed to go either, is it?

And the worst part is: God knows all of this! He knows all of my spoken and unspoken words even before they have been fully formed in my mind!!!

And the most incredible thing is: He loves me anyway…

However, He wants me to change, so He works in me constantly. My behavior would not truly change, however, until I surrender it to Christ. I have to crucify my unruly tongue and thoughts, as I nail them to the cross. That is the nature of “being crucified with Christ and no longer living, but Christ living in me” (Galatians 2: 20-21) By allowing the blood of Christ to cleanse us as we crucify our sinful nature, we cease to exist in our old form as Christ re-shapes us and makes us new letting Him be the One that dwells within our souls.

The amazing thing is, however, that we don’t have to wait until we are new and perfect to come to Him. He has already adopted us just as we are. It is not up to us to renew ourselves. He is the One, the Only One who can accomplish that. We just need to have a willing heart and surrender it all.

So…what I need to remember every time I fail at controlling my mind and my tongue is that I have a merciful and compassionate Father who loves me even though He knows me.

He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Revelations 21: 5a