Peace with Who I am

Eventually I will get back to my comments on the book You Are Going to Be Okay, but for a few more posts, I'd like to continue thinking about the concept of allowing the Peace of Christ to flow in us.

This morning I began to think about the things that rob me of my peace...the list is pretty long, but I think I was able to narrow it down to the following:

The well being of my sons and husband.
My relationship with my extended family.
My ability to be a good friend.
My ability to do my job well.

Myself

Yep, I am the biggest thief of my own peace.

I rob myself of peace at a greater pace than all the other items in the list combined.

The reason?  I am my own harshest judge.

I am acutely aware of all of my flaws, plus the ones I make up.  I really don't need anybody pointing out the things that are wrong with me.  I know them better than anyone else.  I already know my inadequacies and my failures.  They go with me everywhere I go.  I drag a heavy bag of regrets and guilt around...and there isn't much room left anywhere in my heart for joy and peace...

There...it's out now...I've said it...

Some of the most effective recovery/rehab methods state that admitting that there is a problem is the first step toward healing.  I admit that there is a big problem...me...

I am in great need of allowing the peace of Christ to flow through me so I can reach a point in my life where I am at peace with who I am.

I would never be able to get there if I continue to be so harsh on myself.  I need to begin to see myself with the eyes of the One Who Died for Me.  I need to start believing that He does love me enough to sacrifice Himself for me, so I could live!  I need to claim the truth of His presence in me.  I need to have faith on His Word, because He IS the Word.  And the Word says that I am beloved.

It is not about how well I love Him and/or others.  It is about the fact that He loves me...

He finds me lovely enough, in all of my flaws...to pour His immeasurable, perfect, unique love in my broken jar of clay.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  (1 John 4: 10)

There is no way we could love Him, had He not loved us first.  The only reason we could claim that we love Him or anyone else is because He first loved us.  (1 John 4: 19)

There is no fear in love. (1 John 4: 18a)  

Every fear of inadequacy must disappear as we accept and believe the truth that: God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5: 8)

The Peace of Christ will finally begin to flow in me when I begin to accept who I am in Him.  And, who am I?

...You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 
(1 Peter 2: 9)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5: 17)

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  (Ephesians 2: 10)

I am beloved.  I am forgiven.  I am the daughter of the Most High.  I am a broken person who has been made whole by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony.

Praised be the God Who Sees and Heals.  The One Who Makes All Things New!