That Could've Been Me

Dylan has always been very aware of the fact that he was born in Guatemala, but I think it is only very recently that he has began to realize that his life would have been very different, had he stayed in his country of birth.

Today, for example, was a day in which, even if for a fleeting moment, he became in touch with that reality.  At church, we had the privilege of listening to the testimony and stories of the mission team that just returned from a trip to Haiti last Sunday evening.  Eight members of our church, including our Pastor, spent a week in Haiti with Autumn, our beloved home-growon, full-time missionary who lives there, tending to the needs of the truly "least of these..." I cannot even begin to explain all the work that Autumn does in Haiti...that will be the topic of a book, as far as I'm concerned...maybe someday the Lord will open the door for that book to be written...but today, I just wanted to talk about the impact that her work has in us, here at home.

the thing is that the pictures and the stories of the mission team were so vivid and descriptive that Dylan could not ignore them. "Are the roads there worse than in Panama?"  He asked me when one of the team members was explaining the complete lack of infrastructure in the country.  "Panama is rich, compared to Haiti, Dylan," I replied.

Usually, my young son allows his mind to wander aimlessly while at church...but not today.  I know that there was lots that he couldn't understand...but he did grasp the core of the story:  people in Haiti are hurting.  The children's faces on the pictures were enough for Dylan to see the dire circumstances that surround those young faces, and the talk of insanitary towns, garbage, extreme poverty and neglect were all too real, and hard to ignore even for Dylan.

"That could have been me, if I had stayed in Guatemala..." He said to me quietly, turning his little face away from the pictures that had captured his total attention.  "Well, maybe not that bad, right mama?" 

At that moment, I realized the truth:  That could have been any of us, had the Lord not planned for us to be here in America.

I cannot describe the feelings I experienced listening to the mission team's stories.  It was a combination of anger, frustration, sadness, confusion, compassion, pain and love.  But one thing is for certain, I am very glad that they went and very thankful that they took their time to tell us about their trip and what they saw.  I'm glad for Dylan, but I'm also glad for me, because it opened my eyes to a world, not too far away from here, where human dignity is denied, where basic human needs are left unmet, where the dump is everywhere, where the only way to appreciate the beauty of nature is by looking up, but at the same time, a place where God is moving in mysterious and powerful ways.

"Yes, Dylan...there are few places where things are worse than Haiti in the entire world..." I managed to say to my boy...while I wrestled in my mind with the impotence and futility of my own life on the one side, and on the other side, with the sense of gratitude to God's plan for placing me here and not there...

That could have very easily been me as well...

Now, the fact that it is not my face on any of the pictures depicting residents of Haiti carries a mission in itself...but, what?  What is my role, now that I'm aware?

I don't know.  But I pray that the same way God decided not to place me in Haiti, He decides to use my life and my resources, and my blessings to bless the less fortunate wherever they may be.  I pray He takes me where my feet have never wandered and where my arms have never reached out to in order to do my part in helping bring His Light forth so that the current night may become like the noonday.