A Day of Forgiveness

Today at church, the kids' Sunday school class walked around the hallways giving all the Fathers a bottle of A&W Root Beer soda with a label that used a play on words to spell "You are A&Wsome, Happy Fathers Day!"  It was a wonderfully cute gesture that the gentlemen who carry the title greatly appreciated.  I couldn't help but thinking, however, how Father's Day, for many, is far from a celebratory day.  This is a holiday that brings the stirring of painful memories, some, buried behind years that have piled up on them like a mountain of bricks...some, not so distant...some still too fresh.

For some, including people very close to me, and me in a way as well, the entire month of June brings anxiety and discomfort caused by the painful remembrance of the emptiness that a less than stellar earthy Father has left in their soul.  For others, me included, the third Sunday of June brings the melancholic feeling of a dearly beloved Father who is no longer here.

What to do to escape the pain of the holiday?  I don't know...but, in many cases , forgiveness might hold a clue.

I remember very vividly the moment I received the phone call...that fateful phone call that carried the news my Dad had passed away.  Separated by the distance, and in spite of the fact I was expecting the news to come sooner rather than later, I was filled with anger.  I was angry at the circumstances.  I was angry at a life that had placed me so far away from my Father that I couldn't be there when he last breathed on this earth.  I was angry that he died with a broken heart I couldn't fix.  I was angry at those whom I blamed for his brokenness.  I was angry at them because they just didn't care.  I was angry at the thought of my kids growing up without their Grandpa.  I was angry that I still needed him...and he'd no longer be here for me.

I need to forgive and let go of my anger. 

I need to forgive myself for not being there.  It wasn't my fault. 
I need to forgive those I've been blaming for my Dad's sadness.  I have truly come to realize they actually do not know what they were/are doing.
I need to forgive myself, again, for resenting God's plan and accept that He is in control.  His plan for my life and for the lives of my sons includes that we would not enjoy the benefit of having my Father around...and I need to accept that God's designs are perfect even when I don't understand them.  One day we will have a family reunion in our heavenly home that will be a marvelous one!

I need to forgive and let go.

Forgiveness is mostly for us.  It is not dependent on the other person's ability or inability to show/express/feel remorse or repentance.  After all, Christ didn't wait for us to be good and blameless before He died on the Cross for the forgiveness of our sins, right?

Forgiveness doesn't mean relationships are mended and restored.    Forgiveness is meant for healing:  the healing of our own hearts.  It is meant to free us.  It is meant to restore us.

"I don't have any Grandpas...I only have a Grandma..." Dylan said today in the car as we were driving back home after church. 

"I know..." I replied.  "I also grew up not knowing more than one Grandma, and she passed away when I was 15..." I said staring out the window at the blurring images of trees passing us by.  Thoughts of my years growing up in Panama mixed into the sights...so many of the people who once were so integral to my life are now gone...but God, in His mercy has placed others to fill the holes left by those no longer here.  My experiences help me relate to my young son who often feels misplaced himself...so I thought, blessed be the Name of the Lord...

It is time to forgive and let go.  It is time for healing.  It is time to appreciate the A&Wesome Dad I had and the A&Wesome Daddy my sons have.  I know that the time for forgiveness is not the same for everyone.  I know forgiveness is often not a destination, but a journey...a journey that is different for everyone embarking on it.  I know that the hurt, the pain, the scars might be too difficult to ignore.  But I also know that the mountain of bricks must, one day, be destroyed.  Hiding the brokenness will not heal the wounds.  Harboring anger will never make us free. 

The good news is that we have a Divine Father who is for us.  Our Father in Heaven knows...He knows...and He cares.  He is working in our souls through the pain...and the sooner we come to Him and drop it all at His feet, the quicker the healing will begin.  It's not easy, but it is necessary.  Let's, at least, get on the boat and start the journey to forgiveness.  It might be rough...but it will soothe the pain and smooth the hurt.

Let's celebrate forgiveness today.  Let's find a reason to celebrate Father's Day!!