Contentment in Fellowship

"I need a minute!"

"Please, just give me a minute...we'll talk later..."

These are phrases, statements, if you will, that I say often...perhaps, not as often as I should...when I'm feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, pressured, in pain or even embarrassed.  Have you ever said them?

The last time I used them was a few weeks ago when we were in Florida on a short vacation with the kids. It was a delightful trip and we were having a wonderful time, but we were exhausted.  After a two-day marathon at Universal Amusement Parks, we spent our last day just chilling at the nearby beach.  We picked up some food on our way back to the apartment where we were staying, because we didn't feel like going out again.  The apartment belongs to my friend from work and she let us stay there for free, which added to our enjoyment, as you can imagine!

The thing is that the apartment is extremely charming and cute, so we didn't want to mess anything up.  Therefore, I decided we should eat at the balcony.  Grant helped me open the door and get everything ready.  He got his food, and I went back to the kitchen to get mine.  I saw he was already sitting out there and I kept walking to join him, plate and drink in hand, when BAM, POW, CRASH!!!! Yes, I crashed on the perfectly clean, glass sliding door...

Grant, following the common sense we have taught him, had closed the sliding door behind him when I left because the a/c was on inside...clever boy...yeah...we have taught him well!

I was so mad and in so much pain and above all, SO embarrassed, I turned around and walked away...of course, not without doing my fair amount of yelling on the way...

By then, Dan was already by my side, wondering what the heck had happened.  He wanted to comfort me and help me, but I refused.  I needed to be alone...in my shame...and in my pain, because I happened to hit my knee really hard against the thick glass, and it was killing me!!! So I said the words, and went away for a while.

Everybody needs "a moment" here and then.  However, I don't know anybody who wants to be lonely.  We are designed by a God whose very nature is fellowship among Himself.  Of course, we are not created to be alone.  Regardless of who we are, loneliness destroys humanity. It tears us apart.  Regardless of how often we seek solitude, there comes a point when human contact is needed or we go insane...at least, that's what happens to me, personally.

I crave proximity, especially in my hour of struggle.  When fear grips my heart and I feel the weight of the world fall upon my shoulders, I need to know I am not alone.  The Lord is always with me.  I know that.  But I crave to perceive His presence.  I beg Him to allow me to feel His presence.  And oftentimes, the way He lets me know He is there is by sending His people to me.  When my brothers and sisters make their presence known, I feel the comfort of God surrounding me like a warm blanket in a cold evening.  The prayers of those around me lift me up as if on wings like eagles!  The messages of the body of Christ in reply to my requests for help provide the support I need in my weakness.  And I rejoice!  I rejoice, because I know it is God's way to show me His visible face while still on this earth.

I believe, this is part of what the apostle Paul was talking about when he wrote to the Philippians.  Chapter 4, starting on verse 10, contains inspired words that demonstrate Paul's humanity at its best.  And the reason that is the case is because Paul identifies key elements that define human nature:  the need to know that we are not alone and the need to find contentment as we surrender it all to the Lord.

I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4: 10-13

Paul knew, in his heart, that his beloved people of Philippi did care about him, but he needed reassurance.  Even the great pillar of the faith, Paul, needed to know he was not alone...not because he was in need of the material contributions that they sent him, but because he was in need of the human touch that it produced.  

The other gem that this passage contains pertains to the issue at hand, contentment.  We learn here that contentment does not depend on the circumstances.  Contentment goes beyond, far beyond what our current situation might be.  That elusive feeling of complete satisfaction can only come from the peace that trusting in the Lord's strength can bring.  No matter what, He will get me through it, because my situation, my struggle, my pain, my joy, my happiness, my wealth, my health, my illness, my frustration, my accomplishments, my all belong to Him and He is in control.  

I got up from the floor where I had gone to eat my lunch tucked in the corner of a room away from everybody else.  I went to the kitchen to throw away the garbage, and stepped outside into the balcony, this time, making sure I opened the glass door.  The three guys were sitting out there still, looking at me expectantly, not knowing what to do or say...waiting for my cue...I don't know what I said, but whatever it was, it did the job and dissipated the tension enough for Grant to dare to say:  "well, it was really funny..."

At that, and much to my chagrin, we all burst out in laughter...yes, even me.  I had had enough "alone" time.  I was ready to rejoin the world, my little world...I didn't need any more minutes by myself.  I needed to feel the embrace of those around me and feel the contentment, even if my knee was beginning to swell.