Why do I struggle to make time for God?

As I'm getting ready to start the Becoming MomStrong Bible study, I'm hit by the first question

In your own personal experience, why do you think it is such a struggle to make time for God?

Oooo...kay... 

All I can think of is: "you're soooo  BUSTED!"

Deep sigh...

Regardless of how convicted I feel by this question, I can't help but also having a sense of hope.  You know why?  Because the more I contemplate the wording of the question, the more I realize it is not accusation.  You know what I mean?  The question is not pointing the finger of shame at me.  The question actually is implying the fact that it IS, indeed, a struggle to make time for God.  Yes, the struggle IS real, my friends.  It isn't just me.  We all have encountered the difficulty of setting aside time for our spiritual growth and communication with Our Heavenly Father.  Therefore, the question is not trying to make us feel guilty.  Guilt is not God's Modus Operandi.  Remember:

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3: 17

and

“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace” Ephesians 1: 7

Therefore, guilt should not be our default emotion.  Never trust it.  Don't let it rule you.  But explore it and let it serve a purpose for your own benefit and growth, and then, discard it!  In this case, focusing on the guilt-inducing feelings that scream: "I am a failure because I struggle with setting aside time devoted solely to worship, prayer and thanksgiving to the Lord, Almighty everyday," would defeat the purpose of the question.  It would block any efforts I might be able to make in order to move towards the goal of spending more time with God.  That's what guilt does.  That's why it is a tool of the enemy, not of Our Heavenly Father.  

So, instead, let us focus on the actual point of the question:  why?  That's the real issue here.  Not whether I struggle or not...I do!  It's a fact!  The important part now is to examine myself and to find out what aspects of my life are preventing that I spend more time in devotions?

Deeper sigh...

I could type a mile-long list of reasons here, starting with the demands of my profession and the overwhelming burdens I'm carrying over my shoulders right now at work, all the way through the mundane, everyday details of life such as cleaning, ironing, cooking, grocery shopping, doctors' appointments, summer activity coordinating for my kids, all the way down to taking the dog out for his business...life is busy, no doubt about it!  A more rigorous scrutiny of my choices, however, would, perhaps, reveal things I don't really want to see...things about my character and about my heart that I try to masquerade or hide behind the disguise of busyness...things like...relentless selfishness and enormous amounts of pride.

Yeah, I'm busy, but, why?

What propels me into the rushing and choppy waters of everyday chaos?  

I regret to say that some of the fuel that moves me into a life of self-absorption and disorganization  might be my quest for self-indulgence, to get what I want and my thirst for self-fulfillment...my unquenchable thirst for feeling accomplished...

Simply put: I want to be the woman that everyone looks at in awe, respect and admiration.

In order for me to begin to attempt to have a life of achievement, I need to get busy as I grab the wheel every single day.  Notice, it is all about "I".  And, a life where "I" is number one...there isn't much room for anyone else.  I am the captain of my own life.  I do all the steering.  Therefore, I don't need to make time for anybody else.  

What is a person like me to do?  Surrender.

I need to surrender the illusion of power and control.  God is Sovereign over all!

I need to surrender my desire to be awesome.  God is the Only One who is Awesome!

I need to surrender the lie that I'm indispensable.  God is the Sustainer!

I need to surrender the notion that I have to do it all on my own.  His Grace is Sufficient!

I need to surrender my insecurities.  God is the Only Solid Rock!

I need to surrender my need to follow my own path.  Jesus is the Only Way, Truth and Life...I just need to follow Him!

In summary: why do I think I struggle to make time with God? Personally, because I'm not good at surrendering all to Him.  

I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide me on this quest to surrendering to His love and grace; and that in His infinite compassion, Christ will show me the way to Him without guilt.  May we sense His hand holding us tight as we tip-toe into the path He is unlocking in front of us.  Amen!