Sunday Evening Ache

Sometimes I find myself thinking that nothing will ever be different. Forever, Sunday evenings have given me the idea that I'm caught in an endless cycle marked by weekly chores, getting kids ready for school, meal prep, home and work.  But the truth is, life doesn't stand still.  Change is inevitable on this side of Heaven.  We just forget, at times, because we settled into a routine and feel safe...stable...but it doesn't work that way.  

I guess that's why we have the weather be so unpredictable...that's why we have the seasons of the year, to serve as a reminder of the inevitability of change...I mean, not that long ago, it was bright at 5:30 a.m.!  Now, we're lucky if by 7:00 we have some light.  Not long ago it was nice and warm in the early morning.  Today, I had to pull out my musty coat out of the closet to go walk the dog down the driveway.  Not long ago, Grant was a little boy, and quiet Sunday evenings were filled with good-night prayers and early bedtimes.  Now, Grant's not home on Sunday evenings, and when he is...it's a mad rush filled with packing, driving back to his college dorm and managing the sharp ache of knowing that nothing will ever be the same.

It is on those moments, when the floor is shaky and life's instability threatens to shatter my already fragile peace that I must remember the truth: that while our time on this earth is marked by uncertainty and often, unwelcome changes, we have a Savior whose steady hand and strong arms sustain us and who is always the same:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13: 8

I must seek Him and cling to Him because He is the Only One who can provide the stability I crave.  No matter how crazy the weather is from one day to the next.  No matter how the seasons continue to turn...no matter how fast our children grow up...Jesus is the One Who Never Changes, the Rock upon which I stand.  And that's how I can keep moving on.  That's how I don't become consumed:

For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed. Malachi 3: 6

When change hits us on the face unexpectedly, remembering that the source of our stability does not come from anything on this world, but from God alone would help us find our footing again.  Grant's first visit home after his first month as a college student shook me up quite a bit this weekend...knowing that the quiet Sunday evenings of his childhood were nothing more than a memory really did something to my heart...but...I am grateful I get to experience the ache of seeing my boy become a man right in front of my eyes...for that I am so very thankful. And I praise the Lord for all the blessings, as I grab hold of my Rock for strength and refuge:

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18: 2