Could Affliction Be a Gift?

Have you ever wished for a gift?  Like, do you remember really wishing you'd get this one thing either for your birthday or Christmas or whatever special occasion was at hand? Or even, just because?

I don't really remember wishing for anything in particular, meaning, not a particular "thing."  But I do remember wishing to get, say, time off from cooking as a present.  I would also wish to get something like a date with my husband so we could go out and see a movie at the theater and then have dinner at a nice restaurant.  Those are my favorite gifts to get.  Of course, I would not reject a pair of gold earrings, a diamond ring, enough money for a shopping spree or even a nice bouquet of yellow roses.  But my favorite gifts are not really material.

However, I want my gift, whatever it is, to be something nice!  Whatever it is, I wish for the present to be pleasant.  A gift is supposed to make you feel special in a positive way.

I do not want a gift that is going to cause me grief, pain, hardship, hurt, problems or anything like that.  So, why in the world should I rejoice in my time of trouble?  Why should I consider trials a good thing?  Why should I feel blessed when things are going all wrong?  Why should I feel special when all the doors seem to close right in front of my nose?

Why would I think of affliction as a gift?

I think it is a matter of Christian growth and faith strengthening.  I believe if our lives were always perfect and untouched by challenges, there would be very little room for God.  I speak for myself here.  If I had a perfectly put-together life without any kind of problems, there would not be any space for anything else, let alone God, in my heart, because my inflated ego and my misplaced sense of accomplishment would fill it completely.  My pride would be so irritating to my eyesight, that I would be blinded to the fact that I need Christ in my life.

I trust that God knows what He is doing.  And if He has determined that affliction is necessary, I believe it.  It is necessary because it keeps us close to Him.  It is necessary because it declutters our soul.  It is necessary because it prunes our heart.  It is necessary because it shows us we cannot do this life alone.  It is necessary because that's the only way to develop an intimacy with God that otherwise would not come to be:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1: 2-4

God's designed of the crown jewel of His creation, mankind, included us being the clay model of His image.  This way, the divine in us has to break through the clay in order for this esence to be visible and shine brighter than the sun.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. 

2 Corinthians 4: 7-12

These jars of clay we are, reveal the power of Christ in us.  The ordinary material gives way to the extraordinary work of God.  It is because we are simple jars of clay that the world can see it is Christ in us what makes us good... it is not about the clay... it is all about the One Who lives inside the jar of clay.

I'm probably not making any sense now, but I need to meditate on this truth, the truth that affliction is a gift... a good and perfect gift from God.  I have to believe it.  I have to cling to this as a truth from Christ.  I have to trust that: in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8: 28) I have to have faith in the One Who Made this jar of clay...that He pours Himself into it, causing it to break...and that even though the break is painful and almost unbearable, it is necessary so He can be made known... so His Light may shine brightly through the cracks.  

I still won't be asking or wishing for a basket full of affliction for my next special occasion.  But once the affliction is left by my door...I pray I can consider it a great joy, for it is His special gift... a gift that tells me He wants me to be closer to Him... a gift that tells me He loves me... a gift that tells me I am His.

Is Happiness Selfish?

I'm back reading the book You're Going to Be Okay by Holley Gerth and I'm at the chapter where it talks about how the idea of happiness as selfish is nothing more than a myth. 

I have to admit that when I read the heading, I was suspicious.  I've always been of the mind, even if subconsciously that happiness IS rather selfish... I mean, not happiness in itself, but rather, the relentless pursuit of happiness at any cost.  Often, I feel embarrassed to express too much happiness.  It feels...wrong...to be happy when the world and so many people around me are suffering.

For instance, yesterday is a good example to illustrate my way of thinking.  The university closed due to bad weather...and I WAS THRILLED!!!!  Wednesdays happen to be my absolute-worst-day of the week this semester, so having the rather unlikely event of an announcement stating that the university is closed and this rare event falling on a Wednesday was just too much for me to bear, so I exploded in an exuberant expression of delight.  I literally jumped up and down, clapping my hands, smiling ear to ear, yelling WOOHOO around the house in my pajamas.  Then, I stopped, and said:  I have to make this day count and be as productive as I can!! So I grabbed a piece of paper and made a list of all the things I needed to accomplished in the precious time that had been give to me.  By the end of the day, I was just as spent as I would've been, had I had a full day of class...

My happiness was very short-lived.  I didn't allow myself to let it last.  It felt wrong.  It needed a purpose to make it appropriate. 

Sigh...

The author of the book tells us that by believing that we are not supposed to be happy, and instead believing that we need to just be busy and serve and work ourselves to death, we are actually sabotaging our ability to serve well and to love others the way God wants us to love them.

That was intriguing...

She talks about how Jesus did endure the cross and gave it all for us, but it was not so He could be depressed forever.  He did it for the joy set before Him! (Hebrews 12: 2) 

"Jesus could see the joy on the other side, and it enabled Him to push through and do what needed to be done.  The idea that we are to endlessly suffer as a way to be selfless simply doesn't line up with biblical truth." (119)

This made me think of Jesus' Words when He tells us about the most important-all-encompassing commandments:

"This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself."All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments.” 

Matthew 22: 38-40

Love your neighbor as yourself...

How am I to love my neighbor as myself if I have so very little love for myself?  What kind of love is going to be my example as to how to love others if the love that is supposed to guide me in this quest is so weak that I can't even allow myself to delight in happiness?  How am I supposed to serve others so they can get closer to happiness if I don't even allow myself to be happy?

Of course the superficiality of the term happiness taints the word with bad connotations.  But a sense of happiness is a part of the human experience which God enabled us with for His glory and our delight!  It is a gift.  How rude it would be of us to treat it with disdain, and disregard such a precious endowment.

Next time we feel happy, let us praise Him for the moment and treasure it in a way that allows us to restore us so we can continue to go into the world and spread it everywhere we serve.

Reckless?

I heard a Christian song a couple of weeks ago that touched me deeply...however, there is one aspect...one word in the lyrics that cause me to hesitate in my enjoyment of it.  The word is: reckless...

The song uses the adjective "reckless" as one way to define God's love.  I don't think I like that since the connotations of the word are pretty negative.  Synonyms such as: rash, careless, thoughtless, irresponsible, ill-advised, imprudent, unwise, temerarious, kamikaze are not ideas we see as part of Our Great God's attributes in the Bible.  Quite the contrary.  When the Bible talks to us about God's love for us, it uses words that are overwhelmingly positive.  The word "Great" is one of the most commonly associated with His love.  Rich, Mighty, Powerful...not reckless.

Love is one of the most complex definitions of God (1 John 4: 8).

From our human perspective, however, defining what love is and describing what kind of love God has for us, is not an easy task.  There are volumes written about it, and we are still confused!  

I think the core of the issue is that we are dealing with God here.  We are trying to explain, in human terms, the nature of the Divine.  I believe that if we could comprehend every single detail about God, He would not be much of a God.

I believe He is inexpressible.  I believe He is incomprehensible.  I believe He is unexplainable.  I believe there are no words in our vocabulary to define Him completely.  I believe our brains are not yet awake enough to describe Him and fully understand Him.

Therefore, the child of God who still dwells on this side of eternity is left lacking the ability to communicate the extent of the impact of the love of God in our lives...for which we are limited to using inadequate words to express Him...

He is the all Consuming Fire (Hebrews 12: 29; Exodus 24: 17; Deuteronomy 4: 24; Isaiah 33: 14).  Therefore, since we are receiving an unshakable kingdom, let us be filled with gratitude, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe (Hebrews 12: 28).

However, often we failed in our attempts to worship Him acceptably with reverence and awe...and we end up calling His love "reckless" due to a lack of appropriate words... 

I would not use or recommend that anyone uses the word "reckless" the way we understand it, as an adjective associated with God and His love.  But I understand the dilemma of trying to describe He who is totally Indescribable.

The song in question, by Cory Asbury is about God's relentless pursuit of His children, regardless of the undeserving nature of our existence.  When you think about the word within the context of the song, I have a better understanding for the author's choice.  If I look at if with my lowly, clouded, human eyes, I see it: I would be reckless in my pursuit of my sons if the time came for that...no matter what...and my love for them is but a faint reflection of the love God has for us.

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine

I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down

Lie You won't tear down

Coming after me

(Cory Asbury)

It's a Matter of Perspective

Isn't it funny how it is easier to see the hand of God at work in others than it is to see it at work in our own lives? It is a matter of perspectives, I think.  We sit way too close in our own show to really appreciate it and see what's going on.  But when we watch someone else's show, we are free to witness it all.  And, I'm telling you, God's shows are the absolute best!

Such was the occasion this past Sunday at church, when I was blessed to witness the work of the Holy Spirit in the live of someone else, right in front of my eyes.  All of us sitting on the pews had the privilege to see God's amazing work in the life of a fellow believer.  It is not my place to share his testimony, but I just want to share the impact that his testimony has had in me.

As I sat there, listening to him preach about the 5 loaves of bread and the 2 fish the little boy presented to Jesus to feed the 5,000+ crowd (John 6: 1-14), I wanted to weep.  The point was that from our perspective, when facing a giant task, we take a look at what we've got, and all we see are limitations.  The contents of our baskets seems pitifully meager when measured against the impossible task in hand.  We don't have the right tools.  We don't have the right equipment.  We don't know enough.  We are too weak.  We are too young.  We are too old.  We are too sick.  We are too poor.  We are too scared.  We are too self-conscious.  We are too blind to see the truth.

And the truth is that, even though, of course, we are not able to handle anything by ourselves, we cannot stop there, for we are not by ourselves.  We are not alone.  It is not by our might, strength, resources, abilities, intelligence, etc. that we will accomplish what we are designed to do.  We only have 2 fish and 5 things of bread, for the love of Pete! How are we supposed to feed a crowd of a projected 15,000 or more with that?  Of course the thought is crazy!  That's not the point.  The point is that we are to submit the contents of our baskets, regardless of how meager they are, to the feet of the Cross and let Jesus, the Almighty Son of God do the rest with it.

It's not as if Jesus would not have been able to feed the crowd on that day had the little boy not brought in his offering.  The point is that Jesus wanted that little boy to be a part of it.  Jesus wanted that nameless boy to be part of the most important story in the history of the world, the story of Jesus and His redemption of humanity.  Even though we don't know who that boy was, and only one of the gospels actually mentions the fact that it was a boy who selfishlessly offered what he had so Jesus could perform the miracle, Jesus knows him, and that's enough.  Because Jesus knows him, that boy is dear to all of us who have been touched by that story.  Because Jesus knows him, we are talking about him today. 

Jesus knows us too...and that is enough as well.  He knows we don't have enough.  He knows He doesn't need what we have.  But He wants us to be part of His plan, and the only way we could be part of His plan is if we offer to Him all that we have...regardless of whether we think it is enough or not.

No matter how insignificant the offering of the boy in John 6: 1-14 was from the perspective of the world.  God does not look at us from the world's perspective...Praised be His Holy Name!!  He looks at us from the perspective of His love and through the lense of the blood of Christ.  And from that perspective, we are more than enough!

Had the speaker last Sunday decided that his basket did not contained what was needed for him to share a message with us at church; those of us sitting on the pews would not have been touched by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in his soul and life...and we had all missed out on witnessing a miracle.

May the Holy Spirit guide us and teach us to see things from His perspective so we can be willing to share what He has given to us and be part of His Kingdom-Making Plans. 

It Is a Choice

Monday morning, the blues begins to hit my heart hard...  Even without glancing at the clock on the wall, its constant ticking reminds me I'm running out of time.  I'm tired already, and the day has not even truly began...it's so difficult to concentrate when the unknown approaches at a furious pace.  I don't know how to handle things, so I fall into my default mode: I worry...

Then, I remember, and I reach out to my morning devotional and read:

"You can have as much of Me and My Peace as you want, through thousands of correct choices each day.  The most persistent choice you face is whether to trust Me or to worry.  You will never run out of things to worry about, but you can choose to trust Me no matter what.  I am an ever-present help in trouble.  Trust Me, through the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

A sigh of relief...

May the peace of My Lord, Jesus, flow freely and abundantly in me today and every day.  I pray for strength to make my choice for the moment.  And I choose not to worry.  I say it aloud!  And even though I know I will fall into the temptation of worrying again later, I will trust that He will lead me out of the shadows and into the Light one more time...just like He has done right now...because His Name is Faithful!  And even though I lack faith, He, THE LORD, sustains me in the covenant that He signed with His blood.

Yes, it might be just another "manic Monday" like the song from the 80s says...but my choice is to trust Him all throughout and to open my heart so He can fill it with the flowing river of His Peace!

Not Made for the Desert

I always have trouble with the words "desert" and "dessert."  I can't never remember which one means what!  It's funny how a tiny spelling mistake changes the entire meaning of something, huh?  I want to talk about how I was not made to dwell in that dry and barren area of land where there is little to no vegetation, and I'm here sitting pondering which one is that one? So I better check with my trusted friends Merriam and Webster before I proceed...

The thing is that so often I live my life as if I am supposed to permanently inhabit that dry and barren land where nothing much grows.  I allow the circumstances surrounding me to become my world.  I let my thoughts to freely flow toward the problems.  I am overcome by fear.  I am trapped within the boundaries of my situations.  I forget that I am free, and that I was made to remain in constant communication with My Maker.

In chapter 6 of the book, You're Going to Be Okay, author Holley Gerth explores the fact that the happiness of the full-life that Jesus talks about in John 10: 10 is not a promise that will be fulfilled only in Heaven; but right here as well.  I forget that, even though we are told how we will have trouble in this life, they are of a temporary nature.  These troubles are not meant to consume us.  The only All-Consuming Fire is God Himself! (Hebrews 12: 29) 

The permanence of God stands in heavy contrast with the momentary span of our problems.  The thing is that we forget...

While our problems might be momentary, they are very real, touchable, concrete, present... God, on the other hand, might seem distant, abstract and almost unreal.  Why is that?  Usually, because we are the ones standing far away from Him.  We are the ones who do not seek His presence and His Kingdom first.  We are the ones who lack faith.  We are the ones who walk away from His Word.  We are the ones who ignore Him...therefore, we begin to believe that He is not really here.

The abundant life is a life lived in His Presence.  The abundant life is promised to all of His children.  However, we have to tap it.  The Holy Spirit has to guide us to it.  But if we are not in tune with the Holy Spirit, His whisperings go unheard, and His nudgings go unnoticed.  The Almighty seeks us, yes.  For us to love Him, He has to love us first! (1 John 4: 19)  But I believe that once He chooses us, the light goes on in our soul and we begin to thirst for His presence, which causes us to seek Him with all we've got.

As humans, however, we are easily distracted.  So as the world revolves and troubles show up, we fix our sight on those as supposed to staying put on His Face.  Then, the abundant life seems to disappear as the view of the desert enlarges and becomes the focal point of our gaze. 

That's when our strategy should be to seek Him first!  In times of trouble, go to Him first and cry out to Him.  In times of joy, go to Him first and rejoice with Him.  Regardless of the circumstances, go to Him first and dwell in His Presence ... This is how we can only see the desert as we pass through it, rather than as our home.  Our home is in Him...and we are His home.  So let's stop seeing the desert as the place where we will stay; and head out to our real home, where we can enjoy our dessert!

Because, if I may say so, I was made for dessert, but not for the desert!

Thoughts on Worry

I have to admit that this post by the TobyMac#SpeakLife page deeply convicted me.  If there is something, one thing, I excel at is worrying.  After all, I am the President of the Worry-Wart Club.  I have expressed repeatedly how I even worry when there seems to be nothing to worry about...I worry I should be worrying about something that I don't know of!

It is tough to be me...

But this post showed me the side of worry I had denied and avoid considering.  The thing is that I justify worrying.  I tend to convince myself that the reason I worry is because I care too much.  It is a sign of my devotion.  It is evidence that my heart is involved.  I see now, that worrying is a sign I have little faith in the Almighty Power of the Creator of it All. And that was hard to swallow.

Jesus is very clear on the matter.  In one statement He says it all:  Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life... (Matthew 6: 25a)

In one statement He sums it all up.  And I still doubt.

In the same context of Matthew 6 where Jesus talks extensively about the futility of worrying, He teaches us how to pray.  I don't think this is coincidental.  Of course it is not!  Every word expressed by The Word has a purpose.  The order of events does too.

I believe that the reason the Lord's Prayer is in the same chapter as His words on how we shouldn't worry was very intentional.  It is through prayer that we can achieve a state of constant communication with Our Lord, which in turn gives us awareness of His Presence and His Revelation, which in turn saturates us with that Peace that surpasses all understanding, derived by the Trust that emerges through our intimate knowledge of Christ.

It is through prayer without ceasing that we can finally be led to a live in which we Seek Him First! It is through constant prayer that we can stop worrying about tomorrow.  It is through prayer that we can understand that worrying would not add a single second to the span of our life.  It is through prayer that we realize the truth in Jesus' Words: 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14: 27)

Prayer shows us the way...

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11: 28-30)

As my season of worry is about to start while I wait to have my yearly check ups for my Thyroid issues, I need to intentionally hang on to prayer.  I need to call on the Holy Spirit to open my ears and listen to Him speak His Words of Truth to me and ignore the voice of the enemy, so I can trust Him and relay on the fact that God does know what He is doing...therefore, I need not worry about a thing.