Restlessness

 "Isn't it amazing that the waves never stop? They just keep going and going and going forever!" I remember, many years ago, on our first trip to the beach as a family, my Mother in Law said this to me as we were launching in our beach chairs just chilling.  I didn't think anything of it back then.  I was just so thrilled to be there, her comment didn't really impacted me...though...the fact that I remember it, going on 9 years later, might indicate something different...

Today, we read Isaiah 57: 20 at the first Lenten study of the season, and her words came back to me as she was sitting next to me at church again.  

But the wicked are like the tossing sea, which cannot rest, whose waves cast up mire and mud.

The Pastor asked us what we thought of the passage, and my mind immediately went to that summer morning all those years ago.  I could hear the constant roar of the ocean fresh in my ears.  I could taste the salt in the wind.  I could feel the burn of the sun on my skin.  The word restlessness came to mind.  Then, I thought about me and how a sense of restlessness has always surfaced in my heart and soul.  A constant desire to move and to be on the go has characterized me to the point that it leaves everyone around me exhausted.  It's OK to be on the move, isn't it?  Stagnant water is the perfect breeding ground for pests and disease, right? It is the movement what keeps it clean, vibrant.  

But then, I see the last part of the verse...and remember that often, the constant waves "cast up mire and mud too."  That reminded me of last year's beach vacation.  We went to the Outer Banks and one morning, the waves made it impossible for us to enjoy the beach because with each tossing of the waves, the water brought up hundreds of nails and debris. We couldn't believe it!  We've never seen anything like it.  But, apparently, the nails and debris were from a house the sea had taken not long ago and it was bringing it it back to shore...spitting it back out...casting waste on the beauty of the area.  

Restlessness often equals no peace.  The incessant current could bring pollution too.  The soul has a hard time breathing when there is no time to be still.

I didn't say anything tonight at the study, but now that I'm taking some time to think back, I just want to lift up a prayer to Our Father in Heaven who can make all things new, asking Him to grant us the wisdom to look around and see the blessings so contentment can fill our wandering spirit and quiet our restless hearts.  The ocean never ceases...neither does the Lord. In Christ name, the One Whom the Winds and the Waves Obey.  Amen!

God's Timing

Do you get impatient with people who seem to always be dragging their feet? I do.  I think it comes from growing up with my Dad.  He was a very demanding and imposing man...larger than life...and he wanted things done his way and in his timing, which allowed no lapse...no slack...when he asked for something, he wanted it done 5 minutes ago.  I spent much of my youth making sure I never made my Dad wait for me...it was exhausting.

I guess that kind of conditioned me to be impatient in my own life as an adult...as a Mom and Wife.  But, boy, have I had a learning experience here?! My boys, all 3 of them, have taught me the very hard lesson of adjusting my expectations.  From asking Dylan 35 times a day to empty the dish washer, and asking Grant if he has already found some graduate programs for his Masters to asking Dan to paint that wall, replace that light, take me to Hawaii, buy a beach condo, move to Florida...nothing gets done when I demand it.  I always have to wait for it to be done in "their time."  It drives me CRAZY!

Well, I guess the same happens in my relationship with God.  I pray for things...and often, they do unfold in a timing that is according to my schedule.  But, there are some that have been years and years ... and the response continues to be "wait."  "Not yet."  Hang tight and wait in the Lord...which is very difficult for me, but I believe the lessons I've been learning while I wait are precisely what the Lord intends for me, and I feel closer to Him for that.

I think that's what Peter is trying to tell us in his second letter, chapter 3:

8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3: 8-9

God's timing is His own, and not ours.  Kind of like me making an effort to develop patience with my kids, trying to give them space to be their own persons and not making unreasonable demands, I believe God reminds us of His sovereignty in the way He manages time.  He is in control, not us.  And this is a very effective way to remember this fact.  There aren't many things that make a person realize how little control they have, than to have to wait.  The sense of self-importance that comes from immediate obedience at one's demands crumbles when those who we expect to react to our commands, just sit around and lollygag.  Of course, I'm not saying God is lollygagging.  I'm saying He is King over time and over all.

May the words of Peter remind us that God's sense of timing is different than ours...and that in the end, He is most interested in our character, salvation, sanctification and glorification, than in granting our every wishes, like a genie in a bottle.  

The Voice of Truth

 I remember, when I was a teenager, the absolutely most totally rad thing ever was a device called "The Walkman."  I mean...there was nothing better than that thing...at least in my book.  Of course, I didn't have money for an original "Walkman" so I had to make due with a generic brand.  At a small fraction of the cost of the slick, Sony-no-baloney, my player did the work.  I loved that gadget.  I'd slide a cassette in, put those spongy, orange headphones over my ears, hit play...and it was as if the world would disappear. It was pure bliss.

I did not walk around with my headphones on, though.  My parents would not have allowed it.  I could only use it in my room, after I was done with my school work...but boy, were those moments of uninterrupted music enjoyment the BEST!

I guess I forget about those days when I too, used to shut the world out with my headphones...sigh. Nowadays, I complain about the youth permanently wearing their earbuds, like unseemly appendixes sticking out of their earlobes...I complain about how they come to class with those things inside their ears, and how, if I'm lucky, they might take one off to half hear whatever lesson I've spent endless hours preparing.  I complain about how they walk around like zombies, completely disconnected from the world around them, listening to who knows what, being played straight to their brains...and I forget I might have done the same thing to a degree back in the day...

There are so many voices in our heads, it is hard to hear when the truth calls.  We can't recognize it in the noise.  We all walk around mindlessly.  Lost.

I am guilty too.  I might not put on headphones at night to dive into my musical, parallel universe anymore.  But I surely spend countless hours listening to voices that feed my insecurities and my doubts.  I hear the drum, drum, drum of my negativity.  I block the words of my loved ones trying to speak the truth to me, and only hear the rattle and hum of lies.  The orange headsets are long gone, but I'm still disconnected from my source of life...

God's love does not yell.  He whispers.  He doesn't generally use a megaphone.  He speaks as soft as the gentle breeze of a summer eve...and yes, it could be easily missed.

I pray this season of Lent allows us a chance to tune in to the voice of Truth.  I pray for the youth of today, but also for the youth of yesteryears, because we all need to hear the lessons the Lord has prepared for us so tenderly...we all need to reverse our course, block everything else, and just hear His voice, calling out our names.  May Jesus' voice prevail.  Amen!

 

Our Father

 I know...I know very well, how the word "Father" is not a term that has a good and positive connotation for many, many people.  The sad reality is that, regardless of the area of the world where we might be at, many children grow up either without a Dad or with one who causes tremendous damage.  And that is a consequence of the fallen condition of our world...of our sin...it really doesn't have anything to do with the actual concept of fatherhood.  Being a Father is one of the greatest honors, privileges and gifts God has bestowed upon men.  Parenthood in general, is one of those "jobs" that really, really, teaches the person a lot about the heart of God.  It is a position of the highest responsibility, but it is a true, incomparable blessing too. 

When Jesus says that we ought to call God, Father...Our Father...it is a most wonderful and profound invitation...no matter how horrible our experience with our earthly Father might have been, being able to call God, Our Father is a great comfort in this hard life.

With the first two words of the Lord's Prayer, Jesus opens the door of His family to us, saying, He is your Father too.  He is Our Father.  You too are a child of God too.  You will learn, and experience, and taste, and enjoy, and know the wonders of having a perfect Father now.  You belong.  You are wanted.  You are loved.

I had a good earthly Father, but he was far from perfect.  There are things he did that marked me in not a very positive way.  But I know he loved me and he wanted the best for me.  I have no doubt my Dad did all he could to help me.  His efforts fell short often, but not intentionally.  I loved him dearly and still do.  The very thought of him brings tears to my eyes because I miss him so much, and I would give anything to still have him near.  How much more I should be assured of God's love, that is greater, much greater than my earthly Father's imperfect love, which he could only have, because God first loved him.  How much greater is God's love...for God is Love...pure and perfect Love.  

That's why the privilege is also ours...to be able to call God, the God of All Power and Love, Father...Our Father.  I pray we can have the clarity of the Holy Spirit to assimilate this mystery, in which we, lowly, stubborn, selfish, unfaithful, self-centered creatures, get to call the God of All Creation, Our Father.  Thank you for the blessing, Lord...Thank You for showing us this truth, Jesus.  Amen! 

Signs and Wonders

 For years now, I have been praying that the Lord will give the world special and even supernatural evidence of His presence so people would come to Him and believe.  This morning, I was, yet again, convicted by a minister I listen to daily who challenged me to question my desire for "signs." He asked why do we spend so much time and energy looking for these "signs" when the most important and greatest of signs we have already received in Jesus and His love and forgiveness.

Sigh...

Jesus knew this about the nature of humans...John 4: 48 recorded Jesus' words lamenting that,

“Unless you people see signs and wonders,” Jesus told him, “you will never believe.”

Not that knowing the fact that people want to "see" to believe kept Jesus from performing signs and wonders, not at all.  Jesus continued to do all kinds of signs and wonders as an act of mercy...because He knew that about us, and because He wanted us to believe...but, in reality, the truth is so much bigger than the supernatural acts of Jesus.  And that's why Jesus was troubled by the small-mildness of mankind.  The true and most important "sign" was Him walking on this earth...but we are too confused to see it...to see Him.

Jesus actually warned us about the signs and wonders of the last days,

24 For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect. 25 See, I have told you ahead of time. Matthew 24: 24-25

So, signs and wonders can actually be tools of the great deceiver, performed to bring us over to his camp of destruction.  Of course, God is bigger than the one who is in the world, and God's signs and wonders can never be confused with those of the devil...but our focus should not be on such signs and wonders.  Our eyes should be fixed on the revelation that has been provided in Scripture, which keeps us with our eyes on the face of Jesus, armed with the knowledge of the truth so we can spot the counterfeit and the lies.

Jesus is the only sign we need.  If one won't come to God through Jesus...no amount of signs and wonders will do the trick.    

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14: 6

Brief Thoughts on The Lord's Prayer

 I heard a minister say today something like, "turn the Lord's Prayer into a moment of intimacy with God." That stuck with me, especially since I've been trying to be more focused on prayer lately.  The thought convicted me because, if I'm honest with myself, often, reciting the Lord's Prayer is a rather mechanical moment...not much of a moment of intimacy.

Many times Dylan would come to me before bed seeking to have a few seconds of prayer, and I say dismissively, "let's just say the Lord's Prayer," as if just to get him off my back...as if I'm so busy I can't spare a few moments of intentional prayer with my son who is asking for it...I know...I know...

What most perfect prayer than the words that Jesus, Himself taught us?

Why do I treat it like something rote...almost devoid of meaning?

Why can't I get my priorities straight?

I pray that the Lord teaches me His Prayer once again so it becomes fresh in my heart and soul.  I pray that He'd give me the light of His understanding to truly comprehend the words that He asks us to pray.  I pray that when I say the Lord's Prayer, I hear Jesus' voice saying to me:

7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

9 “This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one. Matthew 6: 7-13

May I never dismiss the Lord's Prayer and its power.  May I treat it with the utmost respect and lift up every word to Heaven for every utterance contains the very divine essence of Him which first spoke it unto us.

Time Investment

 I've spent countless hours in the last week or so trying to put together a narrative that details all the work I've done over the past five years, and I tell you...I am spent!

This narrative is a required self-reflection I have to submit as part the evaluation that faculty members undergo every 5 years to make sure we are doing what we're supposed to be doing.  My almost 40 pages are full with all the courses I've taught, committees I've served in, initiatives I've started, service opportunities I've carried out, down to the time commitment invested in each.  I was going to detail the hours I've spent in each thing, but that seemed a bit too much.  I did add, however, a chart with a time-scale that indicates whether the activity required grand, large or moderate amount of time.  When I look at it, I can't believe the exorbitant amount of time I've spent at work...sigh...

How does my prayer life compare to my work life?

That is a question I do not want to address.  I'm too embarrassed and convicted when I think about it, especially now when I have something tangible to compare it to.  I'm sure if I were ever to write a self-reflection on my prayer life down to the time invested in it, the chart would not look so grand.

I praise the Lord for His patience and compassion with me. I tell you, if He had a temper like mine, He would have wiped me out a long time ago. But, because of His nature, He hasn't...for

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 103: 8

We are the ones who lack commitment and faithfulness.  But He is Faithful for all of us.  It is always a good time for prayer. Every hour is a good hour to spend time with the Lord. If I make time for all the responsibilities I have at work, I can make time for the most important task in my life, being still before the Lord.

Praying that this season of Lent may be a time to recommit my hours and invest my time in what matters most.  In Christ's Precious Name.  Amen!