What is life, but a collection of moments...
Some moments mark us forever, like the moment someone communicates to us with words or actions that we are not worthy.
Some others are full of bliss and joy, like the moment we first lay eyes on the person we know is "the one" we are meant to be with...or the moment we first meet our children.
Some moments make us sprint into action, like when we hear someone calling for help.
Some, yet, paralyze us...like when we learn of a loved one's death...
In my opinion, loss is the hardest thing we have to experience while walking on this valley of tears...but sudden loss is even worst. Today, I lived the petrifying effect of finding out that a dear friend passed away... He was a friend I graduated from High School with, but whom I didn't really get to know well until we were thrown together in a mix of around 60 young adults when we all won the scholarships that brought us to the United States about 30 years ago. As life would have it; after spending a full year together in a dorm in Panama learning English, most of us were sent to different places around the United States and we lost track of each other. Except for a handful, I hadn't known from the majority of them over the years...until early in 2017, when an online/private chat room was created so we could reunite, even if virtually with one another in anticipation to an actual, live reunion that is going to take place in Panama this July.
In this chat we have shared what happened with our lives since we last were together and the experience has been truly rewarding and enjoyable. About 40 of the original 60 have kept exchanging messages for over a year now, picking up where we left off all that time ago. This one friend, was the soul of the group. His wisdom was evident back when we were nothing but a bunch of clueless kids; but now it was confirmed. The characteristically long messages analyzing anything and everything from politics to gardening drew lots of friendly teasing from everyone, but deep inside, all consciously admitting even if not to his face, the admiration for all his depth of thought and insight.
He was a devoted Father, Husband, Friend, Follower of Christ who was not afraid to disagree and express his point of view; which could never be taken lightly for we all knew it was backed by long and profound consideration before expressing it.
This morning...as I was trying to juggle a million things at work, I, as I have gotten in the habit of doing since the chat began last year, grabbed my phone and scrolled through the messages in search of a way to take my mind off the stress...only to come face to face with the news that he had collapsed and died at his home in Panama this morning...
That moment...you know? The one that takes all the air out of your lungs... the one that leaves you inmovil... the one that steals all the words... the one that your mind just cannot process... that moment hit me.
I didn't know what to do. My first reaction was to think it was a joke... most of the other members of the group thought the same thing... but the reality was too brutal... and I began to shudder. Not able to burst out in tears for I had students stepping into my office, I tried to put the thought aside; but the crashing gong of the words kept haunting me.
Life is so fragile. Let us not waste any more moments in useless pursuits. Let us not waste another moment and tell our loved ones they are special and that we carry them in our hearts. Let us not waste another moment and go share hugs with the ones you love.
We wonder why is this life so hard...and it is so, exactly because it is this life...it is not heaven. And, for as long as we remain here, we will have trouble and tribulation...but, we are also to take heart, for we are under the wings of the One Who Has Overcome the world...and because He has overcome, we shall do so as well. There is a time for every moment under the sun...and today is a time to cry. But Hope continues; and one day...He will wipe away every tear and these moments won't even be a memory when we bask in the Glory of His everlasting moment!
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