Not My Way, Lord, but Your Way!

"Do you remember when I was in middle school and I was tormented by some kids at the lunch table?  Well, back then, I had all kinds of thoughts in my mind as to what to do to them in revenge; but I decided to lock those thoughts in a vault and pretend I tossed that vault into the ocean.  Then, later, when I was calmed, I would revisit those thoughts.  In your case, I think it would be best if some of those thoughts you just never revisit."

Sigh...

Yep...my 16 year old son told me this a couple of days ago while I was torturing him about something...I can't even remember what it was. 

I am a pushy Mom...wife...teacher...friend...etc...

I have issues.

I want things to go my way and people to do what I say...

I push and push and push people, mainly my most beloved ones, until they have nowhere else to go but down the cliff.  Grant has become very skillful at pushing back.  I can't blame him.  The alternative is the pit.  So, in his very interesting way, my son was trying to teach me that I need to let go!  I need to stop torturing him and myself, and just go with the flow.  There are things that are just not meant to be, and I need to learn how to discern that.

Sigh...

I need the Holy Spirit to teach me how to stop wasting my time on worthless and unrealizable pursuits and, instead, focus my energies on what God does want me to accomplish.  I think my problem is that I have a hard time distinguishing between my own goals and God's.  Often, I find myself chasing after ideas, causes, things, people who are just not supposed to be part of God's plan for me.  But I am just too dense to realize it...until I hit a wall.

Today, I pray that My Heavenly Counselor who Dwells in me would make His presence completely known to me.  I pray I can finally become clay in His hands.  I don't want to continue this trend of wanting my way at all cost.  I want to seek His way.  I want to accept His plan, for His Way is the right way and His Plan is the only one perfect.

May the Holy Spirit give us what we need in order to lock away useless pursuits and grant us the ability to choose His way over any other way.