Lord Willing...

"Lord willing..., you always say that...maybe I can get an XBox for Christmas this year???" said Dylan to me the other day as he came home blabbering about this game that all his friends are playing and apparently he is the only child on the entire universe that doesn't have it...

Sigh...

He made me laugh, not just because the thought of buying an XBox for Christmas in early May is hilarious, but because he began his plea with the expression "Lord willing..."

This past week has been one of trial and craziness.  I have no clue where time has gone.  I am so busy.  There is so much I still have to do to wrap up the semester.  I am teaching an online course that starts on Wednesday.  The school year is ending for the boys.  I'm going on a trip in a week.  And, on top of it all, I lost a dear and special friend a few days ago...the thought of redeeming the times, needless to say, has been in my mind with renewed intensity.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.  James 4: 13-17

In the NIV, this passage of the Book of James is prefaced by the title: "Boasting about Tomorrow."  It hit me specially hard today, as I'm remembering a friend that departed way too soon from our midst.  

Sigh...

We are, indeed, nothing but a mist...a vapor...here today, and gone tomorrow, like the song says.  Plans for the future are left in the dust, for time doesn't belong to us.  It is all in God's hands.  And, while the thought might be terrifying for those of us who rank high on the controlling scale (I'm all the way up on the "control freak" category), it is actually comforting to know, to realize, to accept that someone else is in charge.  I mean, isn't it?  After I think about it, I most rather have the One Who Designed it all being behind the wheel, than me!  

I don't know what the heck is going on with anything!  Why do I think that I know how to manage time!?

"If it is the Lord's will..." I am learning to introduce all my plans with this phrase.  I am trying to teach my boys to use it...I am please that the words are resounding somewhere in their brains as even Dylan, Mr. I-Don't-Care-To-Listen-To-Anything-You-Have-To-Say, Mama, has noticed.

I want to be intentional about it.  I want to put God first in everything I plan, for all plans belong to Him.  

I also want to make sure that I do the "good I know I have to do" while in the present moment.  We are not promised tomorrow...just the now.  So, I don't want to wait to share my most prized possession: my time, doing what I am called to do:  share it with those God has placed in my scope...until it is too late.

Some of us who are mourning the passing of our dear friend are feeling guilty because we didn't dedicate enough time to our friendships.  That has inspired me to reach out more and spend more time with those I love, without waiting to express my feelings and my availability.  

No regrets!  That's what I want to feel when it is my time...Maybe we will get the XBox after all for Christmas...not sure yet...but I am sure I don't want to continue to hord my time...which I often feel I do...I want to invest it in the business of the Lord and His beloved!

May the Holy Spirit guide us as to how to best redeem our times so we can do the good that we ought to...for as long as we can...Lord willing...