Here's to Many, Many More!!!

Birthdays are something, aren't they?  If you're anything like me, arriving at my birthday is kind of chaotic.  My mind is usually twisted in tight nuts.  I'm a walking contradiction.  For instance, I don't like people making a big fuss about it, but I enjoy the attention of those who remember.  I want to celebrate, but I also want to keep it quiet.  My birthday makes me sad and happy at the same time.  Turning one more year is blessing, but it could also feel like a slap on the face...sigh...it's exhausting...

This year, however, I'm praying the Holy Spirit helps me just be at peace.

I want to feel the peace of Christ flowing through my heart, body and soul as I bask in thanksgiving for the gift of another year surrounded by my loved ones.  I'm going to leave behind the insecurities and celebrate the fact that I'm turning a new leave in my life...and I'm going to enjoy the new colors of that leave, even if it comes with an AARP card...sigh...because, just five years ago, today, I was digesting a cancer diagnosis that left me submerged in a pit of fear and shadows. 

I don't care what anybody says, receiving the news of malignancy residing in your body is an event that marks the receiver for the rest of his/her life.  Regardless of how good the prognosis might be...the moment you hear the words coming out of the mouth of the person who tells you, becomes tattooed into the walls of your brain in a way that not much else does...to the point that just recalling it makes you shudder...no matter how faint the memory might be...it always has the power to shake you deep inside...

All my life I've known Jesus, but I never, truly surrendered my days to Him as I have been doing since that fateful August 9th, 2013...I've never boasted in my weakness the way I've done it since that moment...I've never realized how my destiny is so completely in His hands...I've never trusted Him like I do now...I never truly knew what walking through the valley of the shadows of death meant until that day...I've never known true intimacy with Christ like I've known it since then.

For all these reasons and so many, many more I can't recall in here, I want to say Happy Birthday to me!  And a big, BIG thank you to all who have walked with me along this road full of bumps, valleys, meadows, beauty, joy, sorrow, loneliness, fear, peace, friendship and much, much love!

Here's to many, many more!!!