Trusting the Master of All Roads

Does it ever happen to you that you think you are on a road to get somewhere, and suddenly you realize you are not where you thought you would be?  And you are not sure where you are at all?  I mean, I know there's GPS and all now, but even Lola makes mistakes, right?  (Yeah, I named my GPS Lola...)

At any rate, maybe it is because I'm totally directionally challenged, and you are not, so you have no clue what I'm talking about, but the last time I took the kids to Kennywood, for instance, I ended up in an area of Pittsburgh I did not recognize AT ALL.!!!  I thought that by now, after driving there every year, I had a good picture in my mind as to what the different sites along the way looked like.  It was not the case this year.  I kept asking Grant if he recognized anything and he said he did, because apparently the bus driver that took them to Kennywood on their annual Band Trip took them that way.  But to me, it was entirely new and I had a hard time believing that we were going to end up at our intended destination.

I believe the same thing happens to us in our spiritual lives as well.  We design a plan, a course of action with some outcomes as our goals, get Lola on board, and off we go...we depart on our adventure thinking we know what we are doing...when...suddenly...we are not sure we know where we are anymore.

Sigh...

We sort of either get lost on the way...or realize the way is not what we thought it would be...or perhaps, it is a combination of both.

When my sons were babies, I never thought I would be such a horrible Mom...that never crossed my mind!  I would never be one of those Moms that lost it and yelled all the time.  I would be firm but always loving.  I mean, my heart burst with love for them, how would someone that inspires so much love in your heart could ever cause so much frustration in your soul...so much pain???  That was never going to happen to me!  I was not going to let that happen to me...but it did...and it has...

The thing is that the road I had mapped out for my motherhood has not worked out as I planned it.  It has turned out to be very different from what I imagined when I first held my boys in my arms as infants.  It has been a completely different road which I don't recognize at all!  What I thought would become so familiar that I could even navigate with my eyes closed, has become so strange and new it's scary!  Yes, I have two adolescent boys...it's no wonder I feel lost, and that I am traveling on a very dark road right now...but again...I don't like who I am on this road...I don't like how I am walking on it...sigh...and the main reason is...I am forgetting to be loving...

I am forgetting the most important thing:  to do it all in love.

I need to love like Jesus!  Who, regardless of the beating, the crown of thorns, the insults, the crucifixion and the grave, loved us still even beyond his death.

I know love like that is pure perfection, and I am incapable of loving at that level...but He lives in me, and one of the fruit of His Spirit in me is Love! So, through the Holy Spirit, as He grows His fruit in me, love would be possible! Through His power, I should be able to love others in a way that my love can reflect the way I am loved...I cannot allow my frustrations, disappointment, pride and selfishness block the flow of love from the Spirit in me towards those around me.  That is just not an option.  The funny thing is that often it is not up to us to worry about how that is going to happen. 

Back to our trip to Kennywood, I decided to trust Lola and follow the road even if it was not what I had expected...even if I was frustrated...  After a few turns and bends we saw the familiar sight of roller coasters picking in the horizon so we knew we had arrived.  We had been on track all along, just on a different road. 

And that's the thing, isn't it?  Often, it is just a matter of surrendering our ways to the Master of all Roads and allow Him to lead us where we need to be.  As long as we are intentional about laying it all out, being honest, humble ourselves, set aside pride and selfishness, and pray without ceasing, He will get us where we need to be...even if at times we feel so lost that we don't even recognize ourselves.  He knows us and He will never let us go...in Him we are never, truly lost!