Tia Elvira

 Remember the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding?  I love that movie.  I identify with it quite a bit.  My Mother was one out of ten brothers and sisters.  And, since she remained in the town of her "family seat," nearby her parents and most of her brothers and sisters, I grew up surrounded by family, with more cousins I ever cared to count, and aunts and uncles who were part of my life...especially my aunts.  There were only 4 women among the 10 siblings. Only one did not live around. The other three, my Mom and her two sisters, were actually neighbors and absolute best friends.  

It was very common to see their cars coming up on our driveway for a pop visit at least once a day every day.  As a kid, I loved my aunts coming to visit because they will usually bring treats and often, they would take us kids for a ride around town, which usually ended with a stop at a favorite bakery.

My Mom also shared daily phone conversations with each of her sisters.  Yes, phone calls.  That was back in the day when the phone was ONLY used to make calls in which you would actually speak with the other person live.  We only had 2 phones in our house, but one was an extension.  This means, there was only 1 line...which meant that only 1 person could use the phone at a time. Once I saw my Mom sitting in the wicker chair that was next to the phone extension in her bedroom, I knew my call to my friends would have to wait a while. 

I loved to hear my Mother's laughter, and her daily conversations with her sisters would provoke a lot of it.  Those conversations were often very serious too.  I remember the months leading to the passing of my Grandma being filled with sadness.  The phone calls would not be joyful, but hushed and somber.  There was also the time when one of my aunts got sick.  Life was never the same after her passing.  There was only one sister left to share life with.  My Tia Elvira.  Boy, I love Tia Elvira.  

Life overflowing from her face, always smiling and ready to celebrate something.  She loved French perfumes, flowers, music, candy and gossip.  She was our family's...how shall I say it? Most important news broadcaster!  We had to be careful with what we told her.  The rule was, if we wanted the entire family to know something fast, we needed to tell Tia Elvira.  If we didn't want anyone to know anything...we knew to keep our mouths shut in front of her...you know...But she was terribly endearing.  

She never had kids of her own, so she lavished her attention on the nieces and nephews.  She was an iconic figure in our family.  There aren't many memories of me growing up that do not include her.  When my Mom got sick...she was devastated.  For the last 20 years since my Mom passed away, Tia Elvira was the presence of my Mom in my life.  Even her voice on the phone, the way she couldn't get herself to say goodbye just once, almost as if to remind me that goodbyes weren't ever final, reminded me of my Mom...but sometimes, goodbyes are final.  Today, thanks to the wonder of technology, we said our last goodbye to Tia Elvira on Zoom.  She was laid to rest in the family plot at our hometown's cemetery...with nobody around.  The darn Covid-19 virus turned, what otherwise would have been an overflowing church service, with standing-room only, and a mile-long funerary procession, into an empty church, with strangers carting her casket away in a hurry. 

That was so hard to watch.  I felt so helpless.  A woman who had showered me with so much love during my entire life...had to die and be buried alone...nothing I could do, but to order a flower arrangement and watch heart broken on a tiny computer screen.  

I know, however, that all the sadness the countless cousins and one remining brother who are still on this side of eternity feel today are nothing when compared to the joy Tia Elvira is experiencing in heaven right now, gathering together with her other 8 brothers and sisters and all the countless friends and loved ones whom, without a doubt, came out to escort her into the presence of Jesus, the One Who wipes away all the tears...

After the Zoom broadcasting of the funeral mass was over, it was my turn to chat with my sisters...we shared our memories of Tia Elvira.  We laughed, as there are plenty of memories of her filled with funny stories, we talked about how different life will be without her...and we went away to reflect on this moment.  This is my way of reflecting, I guess.  This is my own very small tribute to someone who was very special.  I praise the Lord my kids got to meet her.  Unlike my own Mom, they knew Tia Elvira, and were saddened at the news of her parting.  My heart was blessed when I saw Grant Dieter's name on one of the Zoom squares during the mass.  He was able to join from school.  I also saw my nephew, my sister's son...and so many of my cousins, along with the one remaining uncle...it was such a bittersweet moment...but I praise the Lord at least we had that moment.  

I know the next time I go to Panama, it will be so very different.  I cannot imagine being there without Tia Elvira...but I trust she is rejoicing and at peace...back to the daily chats, now with all of her sisters, knowing that they never have to be apart again...waiting for us kids to join them.  I hope they got treats and French Perfume in Heaven.  I know Tia Elvira's would be the best!