Excessive Planning?

 Are you an "excessive planner"?  My devotional today says something that made me pause a bit:  "your fear often manifests itself in excessive planning." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)  At first, I didn't think this really applied to me.  I've never really been much of a planner.  I mean, I know planners...and as they go...I am not one of them.  

Dan is a planner.  That man can plan all the way down to the second.  I still remember our first...and our second trip to Disney.  He had colored-coded schedules that included everything, from the moment we'd wake up, the bus we would take, the park we would go to, the rides we would ride in specific order, the meals we would eat and the pennies we would spend.  It was hilarious!  But it worked.  Looking back, he was afraid we would waste all that money and not get a good return from what we invested.  He manages our finances as well.  It took many years for me to get used to his color-coded spreadsheet budget.  Again, he does it because he is afraid we would mismanage our income.  And I am extremely thankful that he takes such good care of us.  I could not do it.  I am not that detailed.

This is why I didn't think the sentence from my devotional applied to me.

On second thought, though...when I include the element of "fear" as a reason for planning, I can think of some instances when the word "excessive" does overtake my actions.

For instance, I can spend days obsessing over what I would say to someone who has made me feel threatened in any way.  It happened not too long ago with my boss.  It is happening now in a more personal situation.  I feel someone is a threat to me or one of my loved ones, and in my fear, I invest countless hours rehearsing in my mind or even writing down the things I would say to that person if the opportunity would come up.  I excessively and obsessively plan every word...every syllable...every pause-for-effect...every look I'd give...given the opportunity to confront the one I perceive as a threat.  I lose touch with reality and it becomes really difficult for me to let go...and just let God take control.

Over the years, I have tried to learn to recognize that obsessive planning mode as a form of idolatry.  And I am learning to stop myself from spending useless hours and days excessively plotting my "revenge."  But it is difficult.  My devotional says this tendency hinders our "intimacy with Our Lord."  And that once we realize we are slipping down its slippery road, we must repent and return to His Presence...and trust that He is in control.

I guess I'm not the color-coded-type of excessive planner Dan is.  I'm not as detailed-oriented when it comes to my obsessions.  But, I am just as vicious.  

I pray the Lord's loving hand will guide me and all of us who struggle with our reactions to fear so we can learn to lean on His Power and Trust in His Plans: the only perfect ones.  In the Precious Name of Jesus...The One Who Traces Our Path.  Amen.